Thursday, September 22, 2005

Even a journeyof ten thousand miles begins with a single step...

hey vanilla gorilla fans. Once again I apologize that myposting these days is so sporadic but between hanging with friends, homework, my job, and dota I keep pretty busy. I have actually cut back significantly on the dota playing, it doesnt amuse me as much as it used to and finding good balancd teams is becoming more difficult these days.Plus I usually have other things to do. I do so much reading these days its disgusting I just got done reading 80 pages of Plato and writing a positions card for it. It is so dry and boring and so many of the concepts are discussed way to long. Anywayz enough of that. I am working out again for those of you who dont know, it will take awhile for me to get fully back into the habit but me and other Jake are working out together, well I should say he lets me tag along. Another positive note is that several people have told me I have slimmed down quite a bit, I reached my max weight last year at 252 and then got down to 217 in the three months following Meghan dumping me, then this summer i got back up to 225 and thats what I weighed before I left and I know I have lost weight since I been back in Motown since I only eat once a aday most days. Also I have managed to cut alot of soda and sugar out of my diet so thats prolly helping too. Who knows before long I might look fairly attractive again(lol yeah right) but A guy can hope right? I have to admit that life isnt bad these days I finally feel like I m almost back to normal at least as normal as life can be for me. But I feel fairly good for the most part. The one thing that kind of does bother me is that people really seem to be trying to get me to lose my temper and or react to stuff this year. I can tell you that this wont happen, the last time I lost my temper I really didnt like who I was because thats not the guy who I am and thats not me and it cost me something important. I promised myself I would never do that again because I refuse to hurt myself or anyone else. I guess I m just not an agressive person really. I mean sometimes I think people wish I was more of an agressive guy and might like me better if I was but thats just really not me. Sorry.Oh well I am who I am and I accept that and I hope thats who you guys and girls want as a friend. A saying I like to tell people is that if you can look in the mirror each night and be happy with where you are, what your doing and who you are then the rest is just details and I really do believe in that. Other than that I dont have to much to say. I will say I have my eye on someone right now and I think she has her eye on me as well but we shall see. Other than that take care gorilla groupies and I love all of ya, and remember this gorilla has a big banana;)lol cmon I had to say it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

A New Post to Read....

Hey everyone. Sorry my blogging has been pretty sporadic these days but I find myself being busier than I thought I would be. I spend alot of time reading everyday on average at least 2 hours usually more in the neighborhood of 3 or 4. However being a poli sci major with a history minor it kinda goes with the territory. I just wish I could read faster. Took a history quiz on friday and I am really pissed at myself for getting one of the answers wrong, it was one of those things where after I handed it in I realized I had made a mistake and knew the right answer but since I was going on 5hours of sleep and reading throught it too fast I marked the wrong one, oh well my bad shit happens sometimes. Other than homework I am usually just hanging out with people or playing Dota, I have been demoted to 3rd best Dota player but hopefully I will get 2nd back one of these days. We have now started to keep track of our dota statistics and anyone interested should go to the posted scores are next to the members zoo crew name so here is a chance to check on your favorite zoo crewers Dota standings. Yes I realize I am a huge geek for doing this but, oh well we have fun with it and thats what matters.This will also give you a chance to review peoples zoo crew names.Other than that just hanging out with my friends alot. Although I must admit that my attention is also being drawn in another direction, if you catch my meaning. However I wont say too much about that, I have to keep you all reading somehow, plus I m just a fairly private person. But possible updates may come in the future in regards to this issue so stay tuned. Maybe the ole vanilla gorilla still has a little game left in him. I will tell you all that the new kick this year is that I'm soft, I know that sounds odd but I am extremely soft to the touch and quite comfortbale to lay on and this seems to be a frequent topic of discussion this year and often involves many members of the zoo crew touching me which is very very weird. They also nicknamed me snuggles which I m not particuarly fond of but its not the worst nickname in the world. Yes I am fully aware that we are a bunch of weirdos but very lovable and harmless ones.We hvae also decided that I am the least evil of the group.I am somewhat disappointed that I am next to last on this list. I guess I m just a nice guy who is relatively sane, for the most part. Oh well thats about all I have to say for now. Much love goes out to all my loyal blog readers and friends.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

An Apology

Hey everyone. I know I posted a few days ago but I feel like posting again. I really dislike the amount of reading I am having do right now its pretty much 80 or more pages of reading every night. I can do it I just hate having to dedicate that much time to reading every night, but at least I don't have much homework that goes with it. I wish I wasn't such a freak and didn't feel like I needed to do all the assigned readings, but unfortunately I am and I do. Right now I feel kinda bad cuz I was kind of a fuck to my boys tonight while we were being dota, I m sorry about that guys my behavior towards you was unacceptable and I humbly apologize for being a fuckstick, I m especially sorry to Chris. Right now I have a lot of conflict going on and I think some of that accidentally seeped out and was misplaced towards some people who didn't deserve it, by no means does this excuse or condone my behavior but I hope it somehow helps to explain it ,at least a little. Tonight I went for a drive to try and clear my head, I Just got on 59 and headed south for about 20 minutes and then turned around and came back. It really didn't help in clearing my head at all. There are so many things I wish I could say and things I would like to explain, but I cant... Which unfortunately necessitates me keeping them to myself. After all discretion is the better part of valor. Also it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt. I know those both sound cliche but they are quite true when you think about it. Ya know sometimes I find myself thinking that I am a terrible guy in a lot of ways. As Jon is fond of saying I am a sensitive boy, and although I don't like to admit it a lot of the time I am, I cant help wearing my heart of my sleeve. I don't drink. I have no interest in strip clubs or sleeping with a bunch of different girls. What kind of man does that make me in a lot of ways. I m sorry if this post sounds like my own personal pity party but it is after all my blog and I have every right to do it every now and then. One final sentiment for the night much love to all those out there who I have lost in my lifetime.My heart goes out to all of you regardless of whether or not you read this. A lot of you have been my dearest friends and know more about me than most should. Regardless of how we parted ways I just wanted to say I love you all and some of you love cant even describe what I felt for you. Sorry just thought I needed to say that. Much love goes out to everyone else who reads this.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Patties, People, Prydz

hey everyone. The trip to St. Cloud was fun. I didnt end up ordering the pound and 2/3 burger, but nobody else did either. I ended up ordering a pound and 1/3 burger, so I am slightly less of a glutton but I also split an order of 18 wings with Alex and Chris, had I not had the wings maybe I would have tried the pound and 2/3burger but I simply dont know if I could bite through 5 patties let alone finish the whole thing. I guess I have no reason to wonder why I m such a big fat white guy. After bufallo wild wings we went to barnes and noble and then to best buy then back to Morris. All in all it was a really good time and it was cool hanging out with a bunch of the guys. Some of the freshmen are finally starting to come out of their shells and actually hanging out and talking. Although someone made a good point that Alex, Chris, Pat, Jon, and myself are kind of an intimidating group becuase of how tight we are. I can really appreciate a situation like that because its hard to walk into a situation where your the odd man out and everyone else is super tight, been there. But some of them are finally starting to open up. I would also like to announce some new additions to the zoo crew. Brad is the Chartruse Mongoose, Eric is the heliotrope antelope(yes heliotrope is a color is a purple), Russ is the Pale Quale, Dan is the Maroon Raccoon, and I forgot to mention that Chris is the Taupe Jackelope and Alexis the Blue Bunny. I know I know I am very silly and or stupid but its fun. Also we will be doing a music video which will be a fat white guy production starring the zoo crew to Eric Prydz's song Call on me. It is an awesome song and the video will be hilarious I promise. All I will say is victory dancing and fat white guys. I dont think I have much else to say. I have a lot on my mind right now and a lot going on inside my heart. But hey what else is new? Other than that classes are ok and I dont have anything else to say. Much love to all my loyal blog readers.

Friday, September 02, 2005

School and St.Cloud

hey everyone. Not much is new in life right now. Classes came and went this week with relatively little excitement. I meet with Thorson this Wednesday to discuss what our paper will be and when I will actually start working on it with him. I look forward to it, it should be very interesting since Thorson is brilliant in my opinion. I hope some day I will be in the same ballpark of intelligence. I dont even know about law school, Thorson seems to think that I can get into places like Yale, Harvard, Stanford, and Harvard but those are for the best of the best and I simply dont know if I am in that category let alone deserve to even be considered to be placed in that category. I guess we will see where I am at next year a 3.78 gpa isnt exactly impressive but I should be able to pull that up and my Lsat score will be a big part of where I end up, but the thought has come to mind recently when briefly talking to Jen, I bet she will get a really good score on the lsats. I ll prolly pick her brain afterwards for some insight. Tommorow we are going to buffalo wild wings in st cloud to see how many of us can eat 1lband 2/3 burger,I think I probably can but we will see. Other than that not much to report. Found out somethings recently that have really made me think about a lot of stuff. One comment that somebody made was that we all need each other,this made me think what would the group dynamic be if I had not returned to Morris. Would it be any different if I had gone anywhere else? I dunno I really cant see it being any diffrent without me than it is with me. I mean I know a few people would miss me but it really wouldnt affect their lives significantly and I know they would all be fine. Oh well thats my self indulgent thought for the post. I hope this post finds you all well and your enjoying being back in motown stop in and say hi if you havent yet.