Friday, December 15, 2006

Approaching the End...

Hello everyone. As the title of the post indicates the semester is almost over. Luckily I only have two finals this semester which are both on Monday but they are both rather long comprehensive finals, oh well. Unfortunately, I do have a list of things to do over x-mas break which include getting a haircut(my hair is uncharacteristically long at the moment and looks rather doofy), working on a personal statement for law school(maybe), finishing and polishing my senior sem(god I hate this)and seeing a select few people over break. The whole senior sem thing really bothers me. They try to sell it as this large team effort that you need to do well on because it's the so called "capstone" of your college career and makes your degree more valuable somehow. First, if it is the so called "capstone" of my college career why is this requirement no more then 2 years old? Second, I don't believe my degree will be worth more or less based on the quality of 8 senior sems. Third, I honestly don't care how anyone else does on theirs I'm not getting graded based on their projects. To make the situation even worse we are forced to attend every other person's senior seminar from the poli sci division or it will negatively impact your final grade. Fuck that noise! I try to refrain from swearing on here but that deserves it. We even have to show up on days where no one from our class is presenting. Honestly the whole senior seminar thing for poli sci hasn't been well thought out or well implemented at all and needs some serious work to be valuable at all. Granted there is nothing I can do about it and I will do what is required of me but it doesn't mean I have to like it or be positive about it. The funny thing is according to Paula(prof who runs this god awful class)I write beautifully,only one term can describe that phrase omglmaowtfroflcoptercyclebbq. My buddy Josh will be home shortly over break so it will be good to see him. I'll prolly only spend a few days at home and most of the rest in Morris. I will most likely spend quite a few hours playing wow and doing other things to waste time instead of real work. Sigh, the real work has to get done though to so I can graduate and leave this place behind me. Getting the lsat back should be an interesting experience and hopefully my score will be good. I won't be telling people my score unless I'm happy with it, so if I have to retake the thing don't count on me telling you my score. Please don't try to give me some schpeal about being my friend and wanting to know cuz you care. Needless to say that will be a major source of anxiety and stress til I actually get it. I do apologize if my posts seem a bit down lately. Right now is quite a difficult time for me for a number of reasons but I'll drudge through it like I always do. Anyways I wanna wish you all a happy and safe holiday season I hope you are able to spend it with people you care about and who care about you enjoy yourselves but be smart and safe. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

If strength was borne from heartache, then mountains I could move..

Hey everyone. So basically I am writing because I am bored and I don't wanna work on my rough draft of my senior sem which is due on wed and I haven't started it yet. I've grown quite apathetic this year and really just want the school year to end so I can move on to the next chapter of my life. However, I'm not exactly sure what the next chapter of my life is supposed to be at this point. As fas as I can tell I'm going to go to law school somewhere and try to put myself back together as best I can. Where and how I plan on doing this are still under much debate. There is a large part of me that simply wants to leave Minnesota and attempt to start somewhere new, I mean I would certainly miss all my friends and such but being on my own really doesn't bother me and an area where no one knows anything about me is something that has a strong appeal to me. I guess a large part of my decision will be based on the actual lsat score I get. This will be a large source of anxiety for me for the next month. Everyone seems to react oddly when I say things like I wanna go somewhere where nobody knows who I am. I guess I'm just a really solitary person. Or maybe I just wanna do it on my own without any type of major assistance. I mean I like having people around a fair bit of the time but there is also a great deal of time that I would prefer to be alone. Also, I love my friends but if live near any of them I know they will attempt to drag me out with them. Which in reality is just a waste of time by both parties. First of all, I'm not a fan of parties or bars and the events that transpire at them. Second, the last thing I wanna do is ruin what could potentially be fun for other people by suffering through whatever I m talked into going to. Third, it just isn't fun for me. I never get the whole going out is good for you schpeal. I mean I realize the consequences of my choices and I am willing to deal with those. It's not even like the consequences are that bad so I end up spending some time alone doing something I enjoy, god forbid that should happen. Honestly, it's not like I'm addicted to crack or anything. I'm hoping law school will provide some positive change for me, a change that I have needed for quite awhile. I hate to admit it but my bitter old grand father correctly described life as one unpleasant change after another shortly before he died. This phrase pretty much encompasses the last two years of my life. I just really need something good to happen. In other news I will be T.A. ing for a history class next semester. I don't know how I keep getting offered these positions, obviously the profs don't know me very well:) Professor Shorb who offered me the job said he was impressed by my maturity(lol wtf), acamdemic ability(ha!), and classroom presence(wtf does this even mean?). I think the UMM faculty seriously over rates my abilities,however it gets me paid so their bad. I do wanna thank everyone who called,messaged, or personally spoke to me about the lsat and inquired about how it went and/or wished me luck on it. All of your kind words are appreciated and I hope that I was able to live up to my own expectations and make all of you proud as well. Anywayz that's all I got for now so remember I love everyone of ya and happy and safe holidays to all of you. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Over...

The LSAT is done I will tell you how it went when I get my score back. I hope I did ok.

-Jake

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Soon it shall be done...

LSAT on Saturday it's time to see whether I come up big or I choke. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Since our server sucks....

Hey everyone. So basically I am writing because our school network really sucks which inhibits my wow playing ability. Unfortunately when I'm not playing wow or doing homework I start thinking...always a scary thing. I have been thinking a lot lately about the person I am and the person I wanna be. The problem I find is that I find myself wishing that I was the person I once was. How does someone become someone they already were? Or maybe I aspire to be a better person than I am actually capable of being.I just don't know at this point. I havea great number of questions and a very limited number of answers. I keep telling myself that if I keep going things will eventually get better, I hope someday this actually happens. Guess we will see what happens if and when I get into a decent law school. I'm not foolish enough to think law school will magically solve all my problems but maybe a new place would be helpful. However, I also realize that a man can't outrun his own memories and thoughts. Anywayz that's a look into my twisted mind. Scared yet? Remember I love everyone of ya who reads this. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ocho....

Hey everyone. So, since I have been really bad at updating this thing so far I figured I would try to do it a bit more often. What can I say my legions of fans demanded more updates(legions of fans means the 5 ppl in the world who actually know who I am, I am totally kidding that number has to be at least 8). Not that I have a great deal to say or any significant news just a random jumble of thoughts. First off, a lot of people have been talking to me about personal issues lately. Now I certainly don't mind listening(in fact I would like to consider myself a good listener)but I find myself having a hard time giving out advice about a variety of topics. However, here are a few bits of advice I would offer up to ppl. Certain things in life are hard to get over, in fact some things a person can never forget. The tough part is living with the loss or change and trying to keep going in a semi successful manner. Someone once told me sometimes all you can do is try your best to get by and if that's all you can do then at least your trying and no one can knock ya for it. Another piece of good advice is, never let anyone determine who you are or what you wanna do. Never hold yourself to anyone else's standards or expectations. If you can look at yourself in the mirror everyday and say I like who I am, what I am doing, and the way my life is going then that's all that matters. Finally, take responsibility for your own actions. If you mess up have the guts to admit your mistake and do your best to make things right. None of us are perfect(except maybe Jon and Patrick)and making mistakes is natural but it's important to admit your mistakes and learn from them. This is one area I could use some work in. I blame myself for too much sometimes. I can think of several situations where I take responsibility for something failing when it wasn't necessarily my fault. Relationships,grades, and a wide variety of other things are good examples. For some reason I will always blame myself for the failing of my relationship with someone(you all know who I mean).As much as I wish I could blame someone else I can't. I will always think of it as my failure to be perfect in some way or another. Sometimes I think trying to define myself by success in whatever I do is a bad idea. But then again that's how I have always defined myself. And really if I don't have success what do I have? I m strictly speaking in the academic sense because I pretty much fail at everything that counts. Maybe that's why law school will be a good fit for me, I m desperate for success and law school basically demands people strive for it. I do apologize if this is a bit long but these are the types of things I often find myself thinking about. For being as goofy and silly as I am I do quite a bit of serious thinking everyday, shocking I know. Before I make my closing remarks I have one more observation. One thing I have learned is that most girls either really like red heads or really don't. I mean honestly ask yourself if any girl you know has ever described a red headed male as attractive or desireable without prompting it is certainly not one of the first things that comes out of a girl's mouth(you know the whole tall dark and handsome thing). I find this odd because most guys I know find red headed females to be quite attractive. Something to mull over in your spare time. Anywayz sorry if I bored any of you with this long post but it's late and I felt like writing so I did. Remember I love everyone of ya who reads this. Peace and much love.

-Jake

P.S. The phrase "this would be really awkward if I could get an erection" is hilarious and should be used whenever possible. The same is true of the phrase " then get me his non-union mexican equvalent".

Friday, October 20, 2006

What to say..

Hey everyone. So it's been awhile since I have actually posted on this thing and I thought I would throw out a few updates for those who are interested. First, I recently got papers back for my Modern Japan and Intro to East Asian history classes and got an A- on both. Certainly not the best grade but it was the first paper I have written for the prof and I intend to demand better from myself the next time. Anything short of excellence is unacceptable. I find myself having a difficult time caring about my senior sem. One reason I dislike it so much is they try to sell the class and the project as a team environment. It really is stupid to pretend it's a team effort when your performance and ability will end up determining your grade. Also to a large extent I don't care how well other people in the class do especially since I don't know many of them and none of them are people I would consider friends. Maybe it's because I'm a very self sufficient and I don't really need a support network for this type of thing but I just find the class to be a waste of time and a large hassle. Oh well enough complaining about that. There isn't a whole lot of news to report. I struggle through each day the best I can and hope that things will eventually get better. I've been waiting for so long for things to improve I just wish they would but maybe this is fate that was meant for me.Perhaps law school will make things better if nothing else it will be a bit different than what I am used to.Everyone be sure to wish Chris a happy and safe birthday this Sunday since it will be his 21st. Anywayz remember all that I love everyone of ya. Peace and much love everyone.

-Jake

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

ZOMG(Warning: contents of post may not be as exciting as the capital letters might indicate)

Hey everyone. So I pretty much suck at updating this thing. I think a big part of it is that I'm fairly busy, however my life really isn't that exciting. But for those of you who are interested in what's going on here are some updates. I am back in Morris and attending classes once again. This semester I am taking Modern Japan, Intro to East Asian History, Rural Housing Policy and my Senior Sem. Modern Japan is an 8 am, I don't know why I decided to take another one these I guess I am just a glutton for punishment. Living in an on campus apt is fairly nice however one of my roommates is a huge slob. That being said it is still a fairly enjoyable experience. I have a job TAing for a history class this semester. It never ceases to amaze me how many professors have been willing to allow me to warp young minds. I'll be taking my LSAT this semester but I will be doing it in December. I realize that this is rather late but right now I don't feel adequately prepared to take such an important test. I honestly don't know where I am going to law school right now. I have said a number of times I will go the best place Greg can get me into. Several years ago it would have mattered tremendously to me where I ended up because it wouldn't have been just my decision. Now that it is just me I really have no ties that restrict where I will or won't go. On a personal note, it's alot of the same as it has been for almost 2 years now. Funny how certain thoughts and memories never seem to go away. Anyways, I shall continue to get from day to day as best I can. I'll survive somehow,I may not always flourish but I will always survive. Remember everyone I love all of ya more than I could ever say. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Sunday, August 13, 2006

So yeah.....

Hey everyone. So I suck at updating this thing. I think my lack of updating is due in large part to the fact that nothing exciting is happening in my life. During the day I just kinda hang out and at nights wow keeps me busy. Other than that I m really really boring. Still trying to get certain things resolved before school starts however I m not sure that will be possible. I am looking forward to goingback to school and seeing all my friends again and hangingout. Also looking forward to living with Pat, Alex, and Chris. Make sure you stop by the apartment and visit. Really should start doing lsat stuff sometime soon....oh well. Lots on my mind these days but then again thats nothing new. Sometimes I would just like to let a lot of it out...alas some things just arent possible. Some day things will make sense again and I will be as happy as I once was. Anyways before I say to much I'm gonna go. Remember I Love all of ya very much. Peace and much love.

-Jake

P.S. This is post number 100 for me. Thank you to all of those who continue to read the story that is my life and tolerate the content with in.

Monday, July 17, 2006

This always happens...

hi everyone. Sorry I havent posted in so long I guess I forget people actually read this to keep up with whats going on in my life. Well the state of my life right now seems to be following the trend of the last 2 years. Something good happens then something really bad happens. This time I feel really stupid....I mean I always do but this time I feel especially dumb. I wont say to much about it via my blog but ya this pretty much sucks.Hopefully I ll be able to deal with it and not be the one who gets screwed but I guess we will see. Other than that I spend a lot of time on wow and just chillen at home. I m very boring I know. Anyways I love everyone of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Sunday, June 25, 2006

What to say.......

For a person who talks to much most of the time I find myself struggling to write this. I have a lot to say and express the problem is I don't know if I should. Often times I find myself holding most things back because I don't want people to know. Sometimes that takes it's toll. Sometimes is hard to remain calm, cool, and together. To those who read this regularly forgive me for the rest of this post while I indulge myself a bit. Today was supposed to be an important day in my life and its difficult to look back and see the way things turned out. I still wish things could have been different. I hope where ever you are what ever your doing your safe and happy. I hope that every once in a great while you think of me and it makes you happy or smile even if its just a little. Today is a difficult day for me. I wish I could bring myself to say more but..I can't. Please forgive me all. Peace and much love.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Because I like to steal these types of things from other peeople's blogs...

Dear Jake,
I _____ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________.

If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________.

We could __________ under the stars.

Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)

So do you wanna join? No thanks I only join clubs that rent porno movies call me if you get some though...

Hey gorilla groupies. I keep wanting to update more often and tell everyone all the exciting and wonderful things that are happening to me, well the truth of the matter is there arent any. Such is my life. I m still trying to get hired but it seems like there are a few places interested now so maybe I have a chance. Other than applying for jobs and lots of thinking I spend a decent amount of time playing wow. I really should force myself to start studying for my lsat one of these days but oh well. So thats my exciting fun filled summer. I wish I had some good news or amusing stories to tell. The more I think about it the more I realize that I m a rather boring person. Oh well thats about all I have to say for now. Heard this line in a song the other day. All I can say is QFT(quoted for truth).

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

Remember all that I love ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Summer....

Hey all. So summer here is really boring. I have been sending out a lot of job applications but still am without a job unfortunately. I wish someone would give me a chance... how many times in my life have I been here just hoping someone would let me prove I can do it. Unfortunately most of the people I have encountered have decided not to give me a chance both in personal matters as well as others. Well I got my rogue to 60 and joined a raid guild so that occupies a decent chunk of time other than that not too much going out here. A lot of me sitting around thinking about stuff.....sigh. I really miss the way everything used to be. There is a whole lot more to say but ill keep it to myself. On a different note I hope to force myself to start studying for my lsat soon because that's important too. Oh well that's all I m going to say right now. Remember all I love you a ton, everyone that reads this. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Sunday, May 28, 2006

This seemed to fit...

Over My Head- The Fray
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Blame it on the WOW....

hey gorilla groupies. So I have been home for almost a week and I m bored tremendously already. Grades are finally up and to be honest I am very dissappointed in how I did. I got an A in modern political thought, an A in con law, but I got an A- in Medieval Europe and a B in Norse Sagas. I m upset with myself because I feel like I choked. When I really needed to get good grades I failed to do so. It seems like one mistake(1 bad paper in each class) really cost me. That seems to be the story of my life one mistake seems to cost me big time:( oh well the Gpa came down to 3.80(from 3.825)but its still ok I guess. For all you wow fans out there my rogue is up tolvl 54 and we have a blog dedicated to our group Click me check it out if you get a chance. I m looking for a job but there arent alot available in this area.However,I will continue pursuing one. Anyways thats all I got for now. Remember all the gorilla loves ya. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Almost There....

hey gorilla groupies. So it's prolly freaking you out that I'm posting at 1:45pm instead of some random time in the am. Don't panic I'm just bored and had some stuff I wanted to write down. 3 papers down and 1 to go, got my Norse paper back and got a B+ on it, I am satisfied with that, it's not wuite up to par but Janet's pretty picky. I m really not looking forward to writing my last paper and taking my 3 finals, but oh well that's life. For those of you wow fans out there my rogue is now lvl 49,havent been able to play much lately but sure should help that. Now its time for some personal garbage so stop reading now if you aren't interested. Memory is such a funny thing. Memories can come at the oddest times for no partiular reason at all. The other day in Modern Political thought I had one of these moments. We were supposed to bewatching presentations but my mind began to wander. Somehow it always finds its way back to you. I'm not sure why or how but inevitably it always does. I could see you clear as day. Your long beautiful hair laying against your shoulders. You always wanted to change the color but I was never sure why. I always thought it was perfect. I hear it's darker now, I bet that looks good too. Your eyes were shining as always. They were always so clear and bright. Id compare them to something but that would fail to describe how amazing they were. And then there was your smile. Your smile had the ability to make the world seem ok again even when everything was a mess. Seeing it always made me feel like everything was ok becuase I had you. No one could look at your smile and remain unhappy. It was uncanny how much love, warmth, and happiness you could spread with your smile. I would have done anything to make you smile. After a little while I snappedback into reality. For some reason I had an urge to write this down, I'm not sure why. Maybe I just wanted to say this even if no one reads it or understands who its for or what its about. Or maybe it's so I never forget, people always tell you to forget things and move on but why would I ever want to forget someone so amazing and wonderful. I feel hypocritcal saying that because most times I myself dont wish to be remembered. In many cases I'm prolly just a footnote in their story or a minor character best forgotten. A lot of you probably wont understand and that's okay. I wanna say a quick thank you to everyone out there who puts up with me. I know often times I m not an easy person to be around and/or be friends with and I thank you for your friendship and patientence. Sorry if this post was too long and/or revealing but....well thats the way it was. Remember everyone the gorilla loves all of ya very much.Peace and much love groupies.
-Jake

P.S. The Chris Yard Fanclub is an awesome name for a WOW guild.:)

Sunday, April 30, 2006

And you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon...

hey gorilla groupies. Sorry that it's been so long since I blogged, I bet you are all going through Jake withdrawls.(lol jk)Anywayz not to much new or exciting in my life. My rogue is up to lvl 47, so close yet so far away. Not much school left unfortunately I have 4 papers and 3 finals. 2 of the papers are done. I m not sure how I will do on all of them I really was hoping for another straight A semester but I have a feeling that I will be getting something else in my Norse Sagas class. Oh well I m just going to have to wait and hope. Definitely not looking forward to writing the other 2 papers and taking all my finals. I m definitely ready for summer though. It will be nice to have some downtime. Something to look forward to is, that I have been having lots of dreams lately that would make good stories, so I might write them down in story form on here(despite being a crappy writer) but at least it will entertain everyone for a few minutes. However,I may or many not change the names around I havent decided yet. Similarly, the older I get the more I realize the importance of words. Words can be used as words or as tools to build someone up or used as weapons to destroy a person. So chose your words carefully because you never know what effect your words might have or what words a person might remember you by. Anywayz I love all of you. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Saturday, April 15, 2006

A few words....

Hey everyone. In this post I'm gonna do something I prolly should more often, speak from the heart. Today is the the birthday of someone very special to me who once loved me very much, I wish that person a happy birthday where ever they are and whatever they are doing. My thoughts and heart are with you, always. Anywayz that was my short moment of spilling my guts, sorry to those of you who dont appreciate it or think I m weak for saying it,oh well I guess it is after all my blog. I love yall very much. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Friday, April 14, 2006

Oh what to do?

Hey groupies. Sorry I go so long between posts but I usually find myself busy doing other things. Those tests I discussed in the last post turned out ok, I got A's on both of them, so my performance was fairly satisfactory but there is still room for improvement. I have been playing alot of wow lately my new rogue is up to lvl 35, and hes really pimped out, I got bored of my mage but hes at lvl 48. The end of this year is raising a lot of questions for me, not only about my future but about myself as well. Sometimes its really hard to focus cuz many of these questions are occupying what little brain space I have. I still havent reached an authoritative decision onwhether or not to come back, sometimes I m really excited to come back and such, and others I cant think of a single reason to stay, I guess we just have to wait and see. It really just breaks down to a few questions that I cant seem to answer yet? Then again this part of the year is really rough, this part of the year was a celebration for someone I cared for very deeply and still do, and its hard to think about it. Sometimes I really hate myself for caring so much about things and people and letting that play such a big role in my life, but its just who I am. Anywayz ill shut up and go to bed Remember all the Deuce loves everyone of ya who reads this

Jake

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Then get me his non-union Mexican equivalent...

hey groupies. Not much is new with the gorilla. Took a history test on friday so I am anxiously awaiting to get that back as well as my con law test.I admit I m kinda worried about these two I m not sure how well I did on either. I really need to get good grades this semester in order to keep pushing my poor gpa up unfortunately I m not sure if thats whats going to happen, sigh, I think I might have choke syndrome,meaninging whenever I really need to come up big or come through for someone I choke. I guess we will see when I get them back. The more I think lately the more reasons I seem to have for leaving Morris, I mean honestly there are only a few reasons I can think of for staying one of those being conveienance and/or ease. I m not quite sure if thats reason enough to stay. I dunno I guess I think there are way too many people in Morris who know way to much about me. Anywayz sorry folks if this was a depressingpost,but its honest. Ill try to update when I have more new info or thoughts. Remember all the gorilla loves ya lots. Peace and much love.
-Jake

P.S. I have acquired another new nickname, deuce.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Some things you never forget...

Hey gorilla groupies. So whats new in the life of the Vanilla Gorilla? Well got my tests from last friday back.I got an A on the history test and a B+ on Bill's test,tried to talk him up 1more point but he wouldnt budge. Then On Tuesday took a test in Thorson's class so we will see how that turns out when he gets them back to us.I usually do ok on his tests but I never know til I get them back so we will see how it went. I decided to live with Pat, Alex, and Chris in an on campus apartment next year. Thats the current decision, of course that could change if I decide to leave which is still a possibility, I admit it seems kind of silly to transfer somewhere after putting in 3 years at Morris but I have my reasons. In all likelihood I will end up coming back to Morris next year and suffer through it and get it done. Then hopefully law school will take me far far away to a top tier law school, at least I hope. Unfortunately one can never outrun their past or their memories. Its been quite awhile now and I still can't get you out of my head or my heart. Sigh. Sorry about that folks but I been doing a lot of thinking lately and well I have a lot on my mind. Anwayz I ll shutup about that because I m sure you all have problems of your own to deal with. Anywayz I should go to sleep so I can get up and go to my history class which I ve skipped to manytimes this semester, also I need to register at 9am. Remember all the gorilla loves all of ya. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Is Mr. Sanders there? THE COLONEL??

hey gorilla groupies. Sorry I m not posting as regularly as I should be but I simplay lack the motivation to post these days especially during this time of year. Break was pretty boring didnt do a whole lot. When I got back I got all my tests and papers back. Got an A on my Norse test and an A on my Hunt paper, but I got a C on my historical document analysis. I dunno why I m doing so poorly lately, needless to say I m quite upset with myself and my poor performance. Took two tests on friday so we will see how those turned out, hopefully well, I need to start doing a lot better.Friday night we did the Brad Coloumbe video scavenger hunt challenge we won 1430 to 730. Some of the challenges I did were having a broomstick broken on my back, attempting to have a beer bottle broken over my head,, get clotheslined, get slapped, get punched in the throat, get pushed in a shopping cart into a snowbank, and sweet talking people into doing things for us, I m sure there are some other things I forget to mention but I m still sort of recovering. Yesterday went and saw V for Vendetta, if you get a chance go see it, its a great movie. This time of year 2 years ago something very signifcant happened, le sigh. So many times I long for the past and realize how happy I was back then, I miss being happy. I ve started noticing alot lately that I can be really depressing to be around, for that I am very sorry I do appreicate my friends toleration of that. Anywayz I ll shut up before I devulge anything important or too emotional. Remember everyone the gorilla loves all of ya and you can always count on him for anything you need. Peace and much love everyone.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Home...

Hey gorilla groupies, once again it is I the Vanilla Gorilla. Well these last several weeks have been sort of interesting(an obvious lie but keep reading anywayz). The week before we left for break I got my norse saga paper back... a C+...ouch. That certainly hurt my feelings, I m not used to getting grades that low..., it's a definite shot to my ego, especially since grades are a major part of how I define myself. It also doesnt help in the crusade for maxing out my gpa before graduating as it stands if I get A's the rest of the way I ll end up with a 3.89, so even if I end perfectly my gpa still wouldnt be that good sigh. Also, on thursday before we left took a midterm in norse and turned in 2papers on friday for Bill and Jennifer's classes, so we will see how all that turns out upon my return to Morris. I need good grades on all of them, so I am quite worries. Home has been quite boring, I have sat around the last few days watching crappy tv and staying up late thinking. Went over to Nick's tonight becuase he needed my superior wow skills(another lie), actually he just needed someone who knew how to run a char through a major late game instance, i'll be doing a few more with him before I come back, its fun to see the late game content in wow, since I wont be able to start playing til summer starts. Also, on Friday we aregonna go to Fargo that should be a good way to kill a day. I prolly should do some of the readings Ihave got behind on, yet I have no motivation to do so but I really should since I have 2 midterms on friday when we get back. I m really really really tempted to get a haircut right now, my hair has never been this long and I really dislike it, I have a strong feeling Ill get it cut before I go back. Right now my biggest wish is that I could genuinely say life was getting better or was progressing in the right direction. Some day it will be my turn, I hope. And someday I will be whole and happy again. Anywayz enough of that, take it easy all and remember the gorilla loves ya. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Sunday, February 26, 2006

It's that time of year......

hey gorilla groupies. Thank you to those of you who answered the johari and nohari things I posted on my blog last time. On Thursday I was coerced by some friends to go to quarter taps at the bar, if you get the chace do that pass on it. It was very much what I expected and I really didn't enjoy it that much. Everyone I knew came up and said hi to me but all of them were shocked to see me there, not suprising I m sure I stuck out like a sore thumb for those of you who know me well. Something I ve noticed a lot lately is how much people drink after they have been left by a bf/gf. Not that this really suprises me because it's a really difficult thing to deal with and alcohol is a way of avoiding it if only for a short while. I didnt go that route but there were alot of times I was close. It's funny how certain things are never far from the forefront of your mind and you find yourself thinking about them even when you dont mean to or want to for that matter. Maybe it's just that time of year or maybe its just me being dumb or some unknown reason. I wish life could be simple again and revert to the one time I was really happy. sigh unfortunately I have prolly done something or things that warrant me being unhappy. I have been thinking alot lately about leaving Morris next year, I know I said the same thing last year but I m more serious about it this time, its something that will need alot more consideration but it is an option I m considering. Oh well, I ll stop talking about stuff no one is interested in anywayz. Remember everyone the Gorilla love everyone of ya. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Monday, February 20, 2006

Someday I will be normal again....maybe.......

Hey everyone. First of all, thank you to JMJ for answering my survey about my blog, the rest of you are either too busy or apathetic. So whats new? Well Pat and I got our presentation grade in Norse, we got a B. Howerver I am rather bitter about it considering the fact that we gave a really good presentation and what she docked us for is rather silly in my opinion. Valentine's day came and went, I dont really like
Valentines day and its not because I have spent most of them single. I dislike Valentine's day because I think it is silly to pick a specific day to show people youlove them. If you really love someone you should show them everyday that you love them instead picking one day to remember and show them. Treasure those who you love because love is the greatest gift of all and I m sad to say that it isnt always returned and doesnt always last. Thats my mini rant about v day. Took another history test on Friday, unsure about how I did on it, but I got an a on my presentation that Tony and I did in that class. Still lifting and swimming, working down towards 205 unsure if I ll ever get there but trying, 205 might bea little small for my frame but its a nice goal. I think thats all news concerning recent events. Recent thoughts are a little more difficult, this part of the year isnt easy and its further complicated buy certain things that are happening. Sometimes I wish that I could go back to simpler times. I miss alot of things and people who used to be in my life and I wish I could have them back. That prolly sounds really lame, but its true. Sigh, but then again life sucks like that. I dunno sometimes I just wanna lose it unfortunately I cant do that. Oh well.. I'll shut up now before it gets too personal.Oh, for you music fans out there check out these two bands: Panic! At the Disco and The Click Five. Panic! At the Disco sounds alot like fall out boy but I like them a lot more, in myopinion their best song is Lying is the most fun a girl can have without takingoff her clothes, for some reason that song seems to kinda hit home with me. The click five is a more pop sounding band but still good, their best song is Angel to you, Devil to me, this song reminds me a lot of someone I used to know. It's a really good song. Also we have a new music idea, we are ditching call on me by eric prydz instead we are doing tutti frutti summer love by gunter and the sunshine girls, you can see his version bygoing to http://gunthernet.com/ now our video will include pat evan and brad in thongs, dan getting pelted by fruit, alex in a hawaiian shirt, and probably yours truly wearing a mullet and a crappy moustache trying to look like euro trash along with lots of other goofiness, when we make it later this spring I will be sure to link it so tyou can all watch it. Anywayz thats all I got for now, remember all the gorilla love you all. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Monday, February 13, 2006

Survey Time.....

A big hello goes out to all the member's of the legend's legion out there. Well I figured since my blog has been around a little over a year now I would ask you folks a few questions about it and such, so if your a loyal reader and ya got a few minutes fill it out.

1. My favorite title of this blog has been...
A. Thoughts of a Lonely Man
B. The Dark Side
C. Man or Myth
D. Insert your own suggestion here if you answer D

2.My favorite Nickname for this Blog's write is...
A. The Vanilla Gorilla
B. The Legend
C. The Niner
D. Jake
E. insert your own answer here if you answer e

3. I think this blog is...
a. well-rounded, balanced, with something for everyone
b. too intellectual
c. not intellectual enough
d. not informative enough
e. too fluffy
f. too personal
g. not personal enough
h. too militant
i. not militant enough
j. stupid and pointless
k. other (please specify)

4. How satisfied are you with how often this blog is updated?
a. very satisfied
b. somewhat satisfied
c. not satisfied
d. apathetic
e. no response

5. Please state your name and a description of why you read this blog.

Thank you in advance to everyone who fills this out. I hope this finds you all well and remember guys and gals the Legends loves ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake" The Legend" Anderson

P.S. Credit for answers to some survey questions goes out to Jon, I borrowed some of them from him.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Hey legend lovers. I dont know why I keep calling all you people out there my gorilla groupies or legend lovers maybe it's cause it makes me feel like there are a group of people out there interested in what is happening to me and reading what I have to say, even if there isnt I can at least pretend. Anyways just thought I would throw out some new things that are going on, Monday we got our tests back in Medieval Europe, I got a 97 I am fairly satisfied with that but I made a stupid mistake so there is plenty of room for improvement. Tuesday Pat and I did our presentation for Norse Saga and it went over really well, we got lots of laughs and even some appluase at the end, no other group has gotten any applause yet. Working out is going ok, I ve lost 4 lbs so far not great but not bad, and its nice to feel muscles again my ultimate goal is to get down to 205 but that is a little far fetched but i would be happy at 220-225. Theres alot running through my head these days, sometimes its hard to sort things out and such. There are so many things in my life i am unsure about, and those things used to be the things I was most sure about. Oh well, thats getting a little personal so I'll cut it off there. I m a very private person, sometimes I think maybe too private but then again thats better then the alternative of constantly spilling my guts to anyone who will listen. Anywayz heres some lyrics that I think are approproate.

"Some Day"

Someday, when I'm older
And they never know my name
Somehow, if I'm honest
I can never feel ashamed
Maybe I was wrong to
Hold you up so high
Now I know I've lost you
To the feelings I kept inside

I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time

Someday, when it's over
And you never show your face
I hope you'll remember
How I tried to make you a place
And so now, I move on
To keep my piece of mind
In someway, I've failed you
But I just ran out of time

I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time

I'm not sure that you hear me
I'm not sure that you look at me the same
I will always be attached to you
But I'm never gonna feel the same

I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time
No, you never took the time

Someday, when I'm older...

"Burning Bright"

I feel like there is no need for conversation
Some questions are better left without a reason
And I would rather reveal myself than my situation
Now and then I consider, my hesitation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning, burning bright

I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I'll express, my situation

[CHORUS (2)]

There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
Such a cruel contradiction
I know I cross the lines its not easy to define
I'm born to indecision
There's always something new some path I'm supposed to choose
With no particular rhyme or reason

Thats all I got for now. Remember Guys and Gals the Legend loves everyone of ya. I hope this finds you all well and happy.Peace and much love.
-Jake "The Legend" Anderson

Monday, February 06, 2006

Chuck Norris needs a Monkey Wrench and a Blow Torch to Masterbate...

Hey everyone. Once again it is I Jake The Legend Anderson, hahah man I wish that were true. Legends are people who do incredible things and make a difference in other peoples lives, me i m just a dellusional guy. Anywayz this week was fairly uneventful pretty much business as usual. I had a test and a presentation in Medieval Europe this last friday, apparently the presentation went well because the prof emailed Tony and me thanking us for going first and doing such an excellent job. We will see how the test turns out when I get it back, I think it went ok but ya never know. I have another presentation coimng up on Tuesday with Pat which I am hoping goes well. The workout coaltiion is still going strong and we are lifting weights, doing cardio, and swimming every weekday, so before ya know it i'll be uber sexy and all you ladies are gonna want a piece of me, (oh my god I m dellusional) but hey its a nice motivation even if it isnt real. Today we had a mini super bowl party in my room, we ate a lot of food and enjoyed the game I was hoping the Seahawks would win, but oh well. Lately my thoughts seem to be drifting a lot and I sometimes have a hard time reigning them in, my brain isnt always feeling cooperative. I dunno what it is, maybe its just what happened this time last year, or maybe its another combination of factors I dunno. Sigh, who knows half the time I dont even know what I m saying or if anything Im talking about makes sense. I guess I m just odd like that. Anywayz I lll shut up and stop rambling and hinting at things I m not going to explain anywayz. Remember guys and girls the Legend loves you and I hope this finds you all well. Peace and Much Love all.
-Jake

Monday, January 30, 2006

A Good Weekend...

Hey gorilla groupies. So this was actually a pretty good weekend. We went to the cities on Saturday and went to Mall of America and hung out for a few hours. Then we ate at Famous Dave's, which was delicious, I ordered the biggest thing on the menu and did finish it, there was actually a betting pool as to whether or not I would finish it, and by betting pool I mean everyone throwing in their spare change and whatever else was in their pockets. Then we went to Brad's band's show at the Manhattan loft, the only bitch part was getting there, the car full of girls and Brad's other friends are both kind of stupid. Despite that we managed to get there, the band that opened for Brad's was terrible, I mean absolutely awful. I respect anyone and gets on stage and performs cuz god knows it wasnt easy but this was the worst band ever!!! The lead singer looked like he was having seizures while singing, the lyrics were completely impossible to hear and everyone in the band generally sucked. Also the lead singer started insulting the crowd when we started booing him and his shitty band and then we he tried to mosh with a friend in front he tripped himself with the microphone cord. My summarization Chuck Norris says that band fails at life. Brad's band was really good, very very entertaining. His lead singer isnt super awesome, but BRad made the show worth going to, he was fantastic. Then we stayed at Dana's house, had breakfast the next morning and left. Dana's parents were very hospitable. Got back today and did alot of homework, was trying to get done up through tuesday but I fell short, oh well I tried. I dont know why I care so much about things, people, classes, just life in general. Sometimes I think I care to much. Oh well, I guess that's just who I am despite how annoying it is to me sometimes. Anywayz , back to the grind its gonna be a busy week. Hoping eventually I can finish getting alot of things sorted out inmy head, especially since alot of these issues are kinda old, sigh so many memories. This time of the year just isnt easy for me, Kinda hard to be with the last two Januaries I ve had. Anywayz I ll leave and stop talking before I reveal anything too personal aboutmyself. Remember guys and dolls the gorilla loves you, I hope everyone is doing well. Peace and Much Love.
-Jake

P.S. for those interested there are lots of new pics of me on facebook, shakes head, several of my friends were taking lots of them.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Sometimes I Suck at Life....

Hey everyone. I have been thinking a lot lately, well more so then usual. Right now I am struggling with severeal things. The one that is giving me the most problems is how does one lead a truthful,loyal, honorable life in this world that we live in. I am constantly reminded of how hard this is, especially in a world that is dishonest, disloyal, and dishonorable filled with people who are the same way. That or maybe my perceptions of life are wrong and I am trying to lead the wrong kind of life, people who lead the other kind of liestyle seem to do better on the whole then I do. Maybe I mjust frustrated with where my life is. I dunno. Or maybe its the fact that over the last year and a half so many of my perceptions, beliefs, and thoughts all turned out to be lies. I guess its just hard to look back on things you thought were true and finding out you were wrong. Especially perceptions of yourself or your own abilities, no one ever tells you that you were better than you thought you were or your perceptions were pretty close, instead its how wrong and terrible you were. At least thats my situation and has been for awhile. Sorry if this post is kinda down but I m not in a great mood and I m quite frustrated. The other option is that I simply suck as a person and at life in general, this too is a very possible solution. My advice to people is dont ask questions you dont really wanna know most of the answers, I cant do this because I crave honesty and truth and answers. But I am definitely beginning to think that ignorance is bliss, you cant be upset about things you dont know. I guess I will just keep trying to lead a good honest and loyal life despite the difficulties that type of life presents, cuz no one ever said the right thing is easy. Oh well I hope all my boys and girls are doing well out there is the big wide world, remember I love ya ll and take care. Peace
-Jake

P.S. Feel free to tell me if in fact I do suck at life or as a person.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

And then there are those times that life sucks....

Hey everyone. Sorry its been awhile since my last post but I've had a lot going on. I m back at school now and into the 2nd week of classes, Classes seem ok and I ve got profs I like so it shouldn't be too bad. My schedule is a little weird this semester mwf I have medieval europe from 9 15 -10 20 then Modern political thought from 1-2 05 quite a nice little break, needless to say I have been using it as naptime. Then on TTH I have norse saga from 8- 9 40 and con law from 12 -1 40, again the space between classes is used as naptime. Those of you who know me really well know me taking an 8 am is especially odd but I wanted to so oh well. The most recent news is that I broke up with Susy. I have to admit I feel really awful about it, but I thought that it was best for a lot of reasons. Still I hate hurting people I care about who are close to me and I feel like a complete ass for doing it, but I think it was the right decision. I did the best I could to make it gentle and nice but thats hard to do in a break up. I hope I stop feeling so horrible eventually, but maybe I kinda deserve it. I guess January just isnt a good month for me and relationships. Its always kinda hard todeal with those memories and what happened, sigh. I think most of your guys know what I m referring to. In other news Pat, Brad, and I haveformed a workout coalition in an attempt to get back in shape, honestly we could all use it I just hope we make it a long term habit so we do get back into shape. Also, this weekend we will be going to the twin cities to see brad's band play so that should be a good time, maybeit will help take my mind off of things if only for a short while. Anywayz thats all I got for now, I love all you guys and girls and I hope this finds you well.

-Jake

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I'm Bored.....

Hey gorlla groupies. Ya know it's weird I complain about not having time to post but when I have almost a month of x mas break I only post like 2 or 3 times. I think it's because I dont really have anything interesting to talk about, not that it ever stopped me from posting before. Well lets see whats new... first and foremost I got my car stereo squared away and its working perfectly again so I finally have music in my car again extremely loud music:) I have been playing alot of world of warcraft lately like 2-4 hours a night, I'd play more but I cant handle that much dial up and I need to limit myself cuz when I go back to school I wont have as much time for it, but right now I m at lvl 46 and I can still lvl up at a pretty decent rate. Other than that I havent been doing much of anything, I really am ready to go back to school and see all my friends again. I spend a lot of time sitting around at night thinking and listening to music and trying to figure things out. I always seem to have a lot on my mind, I dont know why that is, just the way I am I guess. Anywayz peace and love to all my groupies and I m looking forward to seeing everyone again.