Tales From the Jungle

Updates...

2009-01-21T21:34:00.002-06:00

Hello out there to all my ape addicts. In my last post I promised to post more often, yeah I have kind of slacked off in that department. Oh well, I'm gonna toss some updates and thoughts at ya tonight. Finals have come and gone, it feels good to have one semester of law school under my belt yet it is very humbling at the same time. It is humbling simply because of grades, which aren't all posted yet(still haven't figured that one out yet), however the ones that are up have been a mixed bag, nothing I'm ashamed of but it is a whole different league then undergrad was. Long gone are the days of simply showing up and getting A's, but I do appreciate that school is a bit more challenging these days, discussion in undergrad was ridiculous and always ended up with me dominating discussions until Greg would step in and own me, however it was almost always Greg that had to do so. Law school is a bit different because I don't find myself talking as frequently simply because I prefer to let people drone on with their pointless inquiries into irrelevant situations and hypotheticals. I really thought when I got to this level people would stop asking stupid questions, since you need to be reasonably intelligent to get into law school, however now people simply ask stupid questions in a more sophisticated fashion. Regardless I am enjoying school and it is a million times better than being where I was last year. I also owe a big thanks to my dad and to Greg both of who always believed that I could compete at the law school level and succeed, thank you both for always believing in me and encouraging me. Winter break was rather boring overall. I spent lots of time sleeping and earning 360 achievements and not a whole lot else, so being back in school is kind of nice simply for the fact of having somewhere to go and something to do. I did get to see my dear friend Alex and meet his gf who seems to be a very lovely and cool girl, very happy he found someone like that(proof that good things can happen to nice guys). However, I really did not appreciate the drastic change in class times for this semester, having to be up at 7:30 a.m. 4 days a week would not be my ideal schedule. Oh well, I'll live and set a better schedule for myself when I get to actually pick my classes. No I still have not gotten up the nerve to ask a certain girl out, I keep hoping someday I'll get to the guts to do it but we will see. That's about all I have for now so til next time ape addicts I love and miss all of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake "Marvelous Ape"

I'm Back....

2008-12-03T00:31:00.002-06:00

Hey there Marvelous Ape addicts! Did you miss me? So it's been almost a year since I blogged. I figured I better come back and tell you all what has happened over the last year. Well as many of you know the last year I had a lot of up and downs for me. However, when all was said and done I got myself a car, got myself moved, and got myself into law school. There were many times that I wasn't sure it would all work out, but I drudged through and made it happen. Right now I'm living with my some of my best friends and enjoying being around people again. I think that was the worst part about spending those 15 months back in Dalton, interacting with only my dad and people at the call center. Now I am lucky enough to see most of my good friends on an everyday basis, now if we could only get Alex and Evan to move down too;) Being down in the cities has been a good experience thus far and school has gone pretty well. I have finals the next 2 weeks and I am looking forward to hopefully doing well on them. The one thing I am still lacking is a girlfriend, I have someone in mind but I'm not sure I'll ever get up the nerve to ask her. I guess I am just a sucker for a beautiful smart blond girl who laughs at my jokes. Hopefully sometime in the future I get the stones to ask her out, but we shall see, courage isn't so easily developed, also I'm sure she has other better options than yours truly but you never know, weirder things have happened. Anywayz I love and miss you all and hopefully my loyal readers come back to check out the crazy adventures of the ole marvelous ape. Peace and much love.

-Jake "Marvelous Ape"

Things I don't understand...

2007-11-28T05:32:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. So 2 things have puzzled me lately. Number 1, the banning of hugging in schools. What the hell is up with that? I was always taught that hugging was an appropriate way to greet friends and people you care about. Apparently now a lot of school principals and administrators see this gesture as leading to a more inappropriate behaviors i.e. kissing and sex. Granted in some cases hugging does lead to kissing and on occasion sex but this happening once in awhile doesn't seem to warrant the universal ban on hugging that is taking place at certain schools nationwide. I guess I might feel differently if I had a child at that age, but I would like to think that I would be ok with my kids hugging their friends. Number 2, rappers sampling kids songs. Earlier in the year it was do your ears hang low(does yo chain hang low) and now the wheels on the bus( the g-slide). Apparently Patrick, myself, Jon, Alex and Evan need to form some kind of a rap posse. We could use the rap names MC Phatrick, The Legend, JMJ, A-Train, and Fat Evan. Our hit single will be a remix of knick knack patty whack and will have the following chorus.

With a knick knack pimp slap, I gave my bitch the bone.
This young pimp drove his escalade home.

I have just written the chorus for a chart topping single. Ridiculous? You bet it is. Anyways I love and miss you all and you may be seeing me before you think;) Peace and much love.

-Jake

So I'm not dead....yet.

2007-11-02T02:44:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So I realize that I have been bad at keeping in contact with my readers as well as updating my blog. Trust me there is a very good and very long explanation to this, which I will give when the entire situation concludes. Since it has not reached it's completion I will not name the other parties involved or the nature of the issues. As far as me goes there isn't a lot to tell but I will try to dish out a few updates. All my free time at the moment has continued to fuel my wow addiction. For those of you who are unaware I very recently joined one of the top guilds in the us(ranked no 6 I belive) and one of the top 75 worldwide(ranked no 68). I can't decide whether I am just that good or just that damn lucky. I think it is probably a combination of both. Needless to say the old guild misses me, cuz cmon who doesn't miss having me around(yes I'm still that delusional). To translate into some math what this change means I am currently doing things that only .3% of the entire wow population can good. Very serious business(lol killing pixelated monsters?). Other than that I am bored off my ass and can not wait to get out of this god forsaken place and into somewhere else. The cable is bad, the internet is bad, and I don't have any friends that I get to see on a regular basis. I also have way too much time to sit and think about the current state of things as well as other unpleasant issues. Doing my best to keep my head above water at the moment, but I will admit it's kinda rough these days. Oh well I guess I always seem to get by. I just can't wait to get out of here. I guess I don't have much else to say at the moment. Comments are welcome as is hate mail. I still love each and every one of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

So....

2007-08-23T04:34:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't heard I had to put my enrollment into law school on deferment for a year. It sucks really bad and I'm not happy about it at all, however sometimes circumstances just fucking suck and you have to deal with them. I fully intend to go next year once I get everything cleared up it just fucking sucks that I have a year of nothing to do but work. Sigh, seems like everything in my life has to be the hard way.

-Jake

Sorry

2007-08-11T03:59:00.000-05:00

I am sorry that I haven't posted in awhile things right now are kind of falling apart at the seems and I am desperately trying to salvage some things from a bad situation. I'll try to post more soon whether it be good or bad.

-Jake

So I was Thinking....

2007-06-18T19:28:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone. So I was thinking if I were to assemble a posse who would I recruit to be a part of it.... Patrick, Jon, Alex, Evan, Jen, Brad, Nick, Chris, Hurricane Katrina Noe, The Cream of Wheat Man, Tom Selleck, Chuck Norris, Mandingo, The Japanese Fear Factor Pigs, Mecha-Patrick, Abe Vagoda, Harrison Ford, Super Saiyan 2 Jon, Bizzaro Ron Popeal, Jedi Alex, The Count from Sesame Street, Vampire Hunter Brad, Robin Williams, Evan In a Bernstein Bear Suit... yes I am bored but hopefully this provided you with a chuckle. Feel free to comment if there is a person that should have been on the list. I love all of ya. Peace and Much Love.

-Jake

Had to share this...

2007-05-30T04:13:00.000-05:00

http://www.filecabi.net/video/cifl.html wow lol this is like something Patrick and I would come up with, we are still bitter about the guys who stole our idea and did the Jizzard of Oz.

http://www.vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/1822 everything in this video is true... lol.

http://www.vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/1682 lol this is just funny.

Hmmmmm...

2007-05-29T03:58:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So home is still boring. I have still not found employment. I sleep a lot. As for law school I have only been accepted to Hamline. William Mitchell wait listed me which was quite a bit of a shock to me since I thought I was in for sure. I hate the uncertainty that I have in my life right now. So unless Minnesota, Marquette, or Nebraska outright accepts me there might be issues with going to law school in the fall. Needless to say I am kind of bummed right now. Anywayz I'm bored so I'm going to continue the list of things I hate to amuse myself.

Infomercials....especially the ones with Ron Popeal
I really want to know who came up with the idea of having really bad actors attempt to demonstrate product usage to "friends". Take for example the magic bullet ....omg I have never seen anything like it! Really? To me it looks like a scaled down blender. Omg how does it work? Well metal blades cut things.....I mean come on. Another one that is on all the time is Girl's Gone Wild. Now as you all know the ole Vanilla Gorilla is definitely a fan of boobs :) However, I really don't wanna pay money to see them. Also, advertisements for this company seem to be on every channel late at night. And then there are the ones from my arch enemy Ron Popeal and his patsy chef Tony. Buy these new incredible knives...wow those look like a knife set I could buy at walmart for half the price. But these amazing knives can cut through a muffler, sheet metal, and cinder blocks.......I eat those items frequently. I question the mechanical ability of anyone who uses a kitchen knife to make alterations to a muffler.

Not getting interviews
So it seems like every time I call places I have applied to to set up an interview I am shot down. These seem to be the two most common responses. We have your application and we will call you if we are interested in setting up an interview or Sir you are over qualified for the position that you are applying for and we aren't interested. I would think that most people that work at the places I am applying are over qualified but they have jobs anywayz. I guess I am slightly frustrated that no one has even been willing to bring me in and interview me. I know I just have to keep applying and hoping but it is still rather sucky.

Only some of you will understand this one....... Fighting Paladins in the Arena
OMG you can not fucking kill a good Paladin it's pretty much impossible. It's not so bad in 5v5 , but in 2v2(my team is 2 rogues) can not kill any team that has a Paladin. The worst part is that for a Paladin to be a good pvp healer they don't have to change up their spec at all the best pally healing spec works just as well for raid healing as it does for pvp healing. I would be the first to admit that combat swords isn't exactly ideal for dealing with any type of casters however even if I was 21/0/40 and had a nasty mainhand dagger I wouldn't be any better off against pallys.

Ok I am done complaining for the moment. Stay tuned for important updates. I love all of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Home is boring....

2007-05-18T03:23:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So I have spent less than a week at home and I am already bored. I have already applied for a bunch of jobs and hope to hear back on at least 1 sometime soon. But mostly I sleep a lot and play a fair amount of wow, playing wow lag free is so nice and now I actually have my raid spot back. You wow ppl will understand that part. Anywayz since the last post was saying nice things about people I care about. This post would be to say negative things about people I don't like. So here are some things that I find annoying or stupid.

People who don't like walmart
You people really need to shut the hell up. So many of you bitch and complain about walmart and really have no idea what you are talking about it. So what are the most common complaints against walmart: walmart forces small business to close, walmart destroys towns, walmart has shady business practices. Walmart does often force mom and pop business to close, do you know why that is? Because Walmart usually offers a better product at lower prices than small businesses do. Since walmart is an extremely large corporation it is able to do this where small businesses can't. I really have no problem with it because that is how economics works. Walmart also pays more and offers better benefits then most local family owned small businesses. Walmart also creates a large number of jobs where small businesses are usually family owned and run. If you have the capital and intelligence you have the opportunity to own and run a business, however no where does it guarantee that you have the right to succeed at your business and unless you can offer a service walmart does not or offer better or cheaper you are probably going to fail. Really this is basically how economics works and if you have a problem with free markets you suck. Second criticism: walmart destroys towns. If you think walmart destroyed your town you are stupid. Walmart brings many jobs and revenue that were not present before and also offers many products that are not otherwise available especially in rural areas. If you are implaying that walmart destroyed your community some how then you had a really weak community before hand that would have been destroyed eventually anywayz. If you feel like walmart has made your community to urban than move to an even more remote area and quit bitching. If you live here in rural minnesota you realize one walmart or super walmart doesn't make things that much more urban and we still live in the middle of nowhere. Third criticism: walmart has shady business practices. Name one major corporation that doesn't. The thing I find most hilarious are people who bitch about how bad and evil Walmart is and then shop there anywayz, if you feel that strongly stand up for your beliefs and find some overpriced small business to buy from. I maintain that any store that sells 3 dollar whole pies can not be evil or bad.

Mac Users
Now I don't mean all mac users. But this is addressed to those of you who avidly defend how great macs are. First of all, macs are not great machines despite what you people say no one who uses a computer for anything that matters uses a mac. Businesses run on real PCs, people who do graphic stuff and web pages use PCs, serious computer gamers and the rest of the world all use pc's. Mac's are used in schools because they offer enormous discounts to high schools and grammars schools, but that is the only reasons they are used there. Yes mac's may be more user friendly for people with like a 2nd grade education but if you have any computer literacy whatsoever a normal PC will do just fine. But Jake people don't make viruses for macs, you are right because no one uses the things. But Jake Macs come in different colors. Wow if you picked a mac because you wanted it to match your room or color scheme you fail. What I especially hate is the stupid commercials mac puts out I mean cmon. I really wanna see a Microsoft commercial with Bill Gates with a big shit eating grin sitting next to a pie chart that shows who makes more money every year and the percentage of ppl who use PCs as opposed to Mac's. Again this is only directed at very vocal mac users. Really Ipods are the only thing you make that people really want so stop pretending like your computers are superior because they are not.

Scientologists
I love that a reporter from the BBC was screaming at one of these idiots on tape. They deserve it. Normally I'm not one to insult someones religion but for these idiots I'll make an exception. Absolutely nothing about your religion makes sense and you can't defend this faith in any way shape or form. I mean if your willing to trust some random idiot with a modified bio meter to tell you whats wrong with your soul , you are not a smart person. You know by saying theses things someone who gets this soul in a trillion years on a different planet is gonna need to undergo so theaten rehabilitation. That's all the time I'm giving you idiots.

Kabblah(Kabblah Centre)
You people are almost as stupid as the previous group. You are trying to be hip mystical Jews.... it doesn't work. You realize that those of you who follow new age Kabblah are following a religion that was made up by a former insurance salesman from New York who changed his name and gave himself the title of Rabbi. Real Kabblah is old school and very weird but at least it incorporates a fair bit of mainstream Jewish traditions. I guess the promise of power, telepathy, and clairvoyance you people promise is appealing. I mean just by looking at the 72 names for god that you have I gain power and my molecular structure is altered. Oh well you can spend time chatting with the Scientology idiots about how aliens raped each other and you.

People who have no sense of humor
If you can't take a joke or wanna take everything seriously you suck. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. I've learned that it's much better to laugh that it is to cry.

Well that was fun. Feel free to throw comments up everyone. I love all of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

A tribute to all of you....

2007-05-11T02:55:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone. Hard to believe that I am now a college graduate. Seems like yesterday that I was pulling up to Pine Hall in my Bronco with Nick following me in his Neon. Now here I am 4 years later and the story is over. Graduation was ok, the student speaker and both alumni speakers were terrible. The chancellor was quite good though. Anywayz, this post isn't about me it is about you guys and girls. The following are things that I wanna say to each of you that has made my college experience memorable that I wasn't able to say in person. Now forgive me if these statements lack eloquence or grace since I don't really have a knack for either. However, these statements are honest and sincere and I figure that will do. I know everyone I list doesn't read this blog or even remember me anymore but I don't care I'm gonna say things anywayz.

Chris-
Chris you are an extremely kind hearted human being. I truly believe that you would give any one of your friends the shirt off your back without them even having to ask. You are a person who genuinely desires to make the world a better place for everyone while asking very little for yourself. You have a lot of big dreams and although some of them are a bit unreasonable you have nothing but the best intentions. Your undying optimism is very endearing. I know you have suffered some major hardships in your life but you have dealt with them incredibly well. I know when you decide what you wanna do with your life that you are gonna be great at it. Never stop believing in yourself and your dreams. I'll miss you man.

Brad-
Brad my first memory of you is having a discussion about how great it would be great to be able to grab barrels out of your pants and throw them at people(it totally would be awesome). I pretty much knew right there that you were my kinda person. You are an extremely talented and funny guy. I miss the days of walking into your room at 5-6 am and having random discussions about the weirdest stuff. Also, it was nice to have you around due to your vast amount of sports knowledge which allowed us to discuss all sorts of sports related topics as well as drawing up the playbook for the game against Spooner(we totally would have won if those guys hadn't pussed out). Most importantly, you introduced us to the Brad Coulombe challenge which has provided a myriad of disgusting, amazing. and hilarious stories. You are a terrific guy and a huge pimp. I hope you get that movie part at open casting so I can be your manager and leach off you;)I'm gonna miss you quite a bit and I look forward to hearing about how you hooked up with the 8 hottest chicks in Morris at the same time.

Mac-
So many Greg Thorson classes together. I missed having you around Morris. I remember us having all sorts of random discussions with you, Jon, and the ex. I remember many late night sessions where we bemoaned the fact that 2 beautiful blondes from South Dakota had broken our hearts. It was nice to talk someone about it and I hope I was as good a listener as you were. I'll never forget when we got into the campus tunnels and went exploring for an hour or 2, such good times. I am glad to see that you have found yourself a new girl and a job that you really seem to like.I wish for your continued happiness and success and I promise to keep in touch.

Dana-
You are an extremely capable and talented girl. You are one of those people who knows way way to much about me. It was always nice to have someone in history and poli sci classes who would laugh at my and inappropriate and bad jokes. I think you are gonna kick ass in history and library sciences and make one hell of a librarian. Be confident in your abilities and talent because they are vast. Don't let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you want and stop listening to your mom( you don't wanna become what it is you hate the most(trust me I know :L)). I wish you nothing but the best and I know in 5 years you are gonna have a great job, a good husband, and maybe a kid or 2.

Jen-
Hard to believe that for a long time you and I didn't really like each other. My very first impressions of you were completely and totally wrong. You are an extremely talented and intelligent girl. I hope I am able to follow in your foot steps and go to law school and kick butt somewhere. I always appreciated the fact that you would try to get me to talk about myself, and although I always tried to change the subject or just refused to saying anything I really did appreciate the fact that you were interested in what I thought or fealt about something. It has been far too long since we have had the opportunity to chat, I hope I am able to see you sometime in the near future and pick your brain about law school.

Alex-
Within the first minute of meeting you I knew that I liked you. That first epic trip to Culver's fealt like you had been one of the guys for years. You are an amazing guy you are a genius, a very talented musician, hilarious, a good decision maker, and a great friend. I'm gonna miss hanging out with you a lot, mostly cuz you tolerated all my random jokes and musings. Also, it never ceases to amaze me how quickly you can fall asleep and what you can sleep through. Truly sir you are an amazing human being. I expect that soon you will be dating an extremely gorgeous girl who is as talented and intelligent as you are. I wish you the best in your next 2 years and Morris and I hope I am able to come back and visit.

Evan-
I will never understand how you tolerate so many things in good humor. I really wish I had your level of tolerance for people and different ideas. You are an exceptionally intelligent person Evan and I think you are gonna make a great teacher if that is the profession that you choose to pursue. I would consider it a privelege to have any of my children taught by you. It was nice to have you around to argue with and to tell me that I was wrong/being a douchebag when I needed it. Even though we disagree about a lot of things I think I learned a lot from you and always appreciated your perspective on things. I hope to see you through this summer man.

Alot of these posts have been rather difficult to write since I am not really great at this kind of thing, but these next 3 are especially hard.

Jon-
Wow. What I do I say to you. You are one of two people who saved my life. You have so many qualities I admire and wish I had myself. You are confident but never arrogant, always eloquent, able to discuss anything intelligently but also yell when appropriate, you always seem to know the right thing to say and do, and no matter where you are and what you are doing you seem to be successful. I don't know what else to say to you Jon other than it has been an honor, a privelege, and a pleasure to be able to call you my friend.

PATRICK!!!!-
What do you say to one of the best friend's you have ever had? You are like the other half of my brain. I'm pretty sure we are actually one person that was accidentally split into 2. I suggest we do the fusion dance. I miss having you around already and I have only been home less then a day. Word's can't describe how good of a friend you are. You are one person that I hope I never lose touch with, I hope something works out so that I am able to live in close proximity to you so that the adventures of Patman and J-Train will continue for many years to come. I'm very lucky to have a friend as good as you. I don't know what else to say except thank you.

Meghan-
This is by far the hardest one to write. It is amazing the power your name holds over me, even typing it now brings back a flood of memories. I loved you more than anything else in the wolrd and pretty much anyone that knew us both knew that was true. The hardest thing I have ever had to deal with was you dumping me. I still don't know why it happened and I prolly never will. I'll never forgive myself for doing whatever I did that drove you away and messed up our relationship. My life would be a lot easier if I could hate you, or blame you, or talk negatively about you.... but unfortunately I simply can't. You leaving took a big part of me that I have never been able to replace with anything else. You are the best and worst thing to happen to me in my life so far.You are an amazing and talented girl who I miss everyday. I feel lucky that I got to call you my own if only for a short while. I'm sure where ever you are and whatever you are doing you are a great success at it and I wish you happiness. You have probably forgotten all about me by now but I will never ever forget you.

Well everyone I hope that I didn't upset anyone with anything I said. These are just a few things that I wanted to say to each of you even if you never read this blog. I love all of you tremendously. Each of you has a good friend to me and I miss/will miss everyone of you. Anywayz feel free to comment as always. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Hard to believe....

2007-05-11T02:55:00.001-05:00

That I will be graduating in several hours...check back tonight for my final collegiate post with notes to all of you. Peace and much love.

-Jake

The story ends....

2007-05-11T02:55:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. You know it's a weird feeling walking around a place that you have been for a good bit of time and will be leaving shortly, especially when you don't know the next time you will be back. I will miss my friends and such here in Morris but at the same time I am very glad to be leaving. I really feel like the last 2 years has been me just dragging myself to the finish line so I can move on the next race(I know I know fat guys shouldn't use racing analogies). I have a lot of good memories here and made quite a few good friends, that being said I carry a lot of baggage with me as well and I'm interested to see if a fresh start will help alleviate some of my many problems. A lot of you probably have no idea what I am talking about cuz you aren't as screwed up as I am :) Anywayz here is how it broke down for my last semester here.

IS 1341 Intro to World Religions Instructor Patrick Murphy

This class was really easy. Once a week+ met for 2 hrs,+10 pt open note quiz at the end of each class+easy sauce tests= Victory for the Vanilla Gorilla. I actually did learn quite a bit about a number of different world religions from this class. By the way, people that believe in Scientology and Kabbalah are just plain weird, normally I don't like to knock people's religions....but c'mon. I would amuse me greatly to sit down with one of these Scientology auditor ppl, let them use their e-meter on me, then tell me why my soul is unhappy because of something that happened 10 trillion years ago in a galaxy far away. Maybe I was Xenu's Lt or something like that and owned a sweet pad on the home planet. Anywayz, once I got over the fact that the prof had a major lisp I enjoyed the class quite a bit and learned a good amount of stuff. I give this class a B.

Is 3800 Practicum in Social Science Professor Patrick Shorb

Ok so this is a fancy title that means I was a TA for credit. This was actually my 3rd time being a TA and my 5th offer to be one. I always like being a TA, it is a group of kids that has to sit and listen to me while their grade depends on it(well not that much).This was a history class so we had some interesting discussions, and our TA meetings with Patrick were always interesting. I'm really surprised that so many profs offered me an opportunity to TA through out my time here at UMM. I skipped quite a few of the lectures for this class in favor of sleeping. Yes, I am a slacker. I give this class a B.

Poli 3101 Political Science Analysis Professor Greg Thorson

This class means that I took every Greg Thorson class that existed in my 4 yrs at UMM. What can I say other than the man is brilliant and I wanted to soak up as much of his wisdom and knowledge that I could. This class was very different from what I expected. We spent most of the semester learning about good scientific procedures and that sort of thing. Then we moved on to data analysis which was actually quite a bit of fun. I wish I had the opportunity to take this class last year, because the skills I learned from this class would have allowed me to present a much better senior seminar.(Not that I really care about the whole senior sem thing but it would have been better had I taken this class first). This class was a lot of fun and Greg is a terrific prof who I will miss quite a bit. Greg is someone who believed in me no matter what and who always seemed to boost my ego when I talked to him, always nice to have someone you respect that really believes you are worth something. I give this class an A+.

Th 2201 Oral Interpretation Professor Kimberly Glover

This class worried me. I am not an art person I can't sing, draw, write creatively,mold clay, dance or take pictures. The only thing I can do passably is speak and I don't even do that well. So naturally for an art performance credit this is what I took.I ended up enjoying this class. The prof was really cool and seemed to really enjoy my performances. Apparently me playing female parts and doing female voices and actions is hilarious. I was surprised by the number of positive comments I got from my classmates on my performances. Kim really made this class a lot of fun and kept the atmosphere really laid back and fun. I ended up enjoying this class a lot more than I thought I would. I give this class an A.

So that's it folks that pretty much sums up my experience here at UMM, now all I have to do is show up on Saturday and get my diploma. Please let it be a short ceremony. Stay tuned for tomorrow's post which will be my goodbyes and notes to all of you. I will warn you in advance that certain parts might be a little sappy but I think some of these things need to be said before I leave since I don't know when I am gonna get to see some of you again. I love you all. Peace and much love.

-Jake

It's the final countdown....

2007-05-07T03:56:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. I'm not sure why it is that I always post on this thing at extremely odd hours. I like to think that it is because I think and write better at odd hours when there isn't much noise or any distractions. Hard to believe that at the end of the week I will be a college graduate. Luckily, I only have one real final this semester. I'm not really looking forward to the commencement ceremony this upcoming weekend, I hate long and boring ceremonies that are made even longer by people making pointless speeches about how big of an accomplishment something is. To be honest the only reason I am walking is for my folks, which seems rather senseless since my mom and I are on awful terms and will be for a long time/forever and my dad would understand if I chose not to walk. Then again I do quite a few things in my life that don't make sense and I am sure I will continue to do so. Anywayz, here is the run down from last semester:

Political Science Senior Seminar Prof Paula

Ok this class sucked enormous elephant cock there is really no better way to put it. I have ranted about this class numerous times so I'm not going to reiterate it again. I give this class af F.

Intro to East Asian History Prof Patrick Shorb

My relationship with Professor Shorb started out in a rather interesting way. I tried arguing some extra pts out of him that he docked me for mispelling a name and then proceeded to lecture me on the importance on naming places and people correctly. Several days later he sent me an email calling me Eric Anderson, I couldn't pass up the opportunity of calling him on it so I sent him an email back making the same point to him. A rather ballzy move on my part since he was my prof for 2 classes at the time but there was no way I was gonna let that slide after the previous incident. Fast forward to this semester when I ta for the guy and he has nothing but good things to say about me. I learned a lot from this class actually. My background in east asian history was very limited until I took this class. I had a good discussion section which I made a ton of jokes in because I got a lot of laughs, by laughing you only encourage me. The lectures were kinda of boring once in awhile and the reading load may have been a bit hefty at times for a 1xxx lvl course. Overall a good class I give it a B.

Modern Japan Prof Patrick Shorb

So do you remember earlier when I said that I was never gonna take another 8 am class since it was too big a pain to get up in the morning. Well, unfortunately this class looked interesting and I needed one more history course to finish out my minor. The class turned out to be really enjoyable though. The readings were really really interesting and the lectures were pretty good too. The discussion section for this class was by far the best one I have had at umm. We had some very inciteful people who made interesting comments. Also, everyone including Shorb laughed at my jokes about the material. I learned quite a bit about Japan from this class and I really really enjoyed it despite it being at 8 am. I give this class an A.

Rural Housing Policy Prof Greg Thorson

I have taken quite a few Greg classes as you can plainly see. This class was something of an experimental class. The class only has 7 people, 4 of which barely ever showed up :::cough:::evan, brad, chris,::::. The readings for this class were rather short and we spent quite a bit of time interviewing a wide variety of "experts" on various aspects of homelessness in small towns and communities. I think certain interviewees yielded much more and better information then others. Administering our actual survey at homeless shelters was an interesting experince, definitely not what I had expected. Greg made this class fun and the subject matter was fairly interesting. I give this class an A.

Only one semester left folks. Stay tuned for the next post where I give the rantings, ravings, and ramblings of this semester's classes. Also, watch for the post after that for my shoutouts,thank yous, and goodbyes to people. Remember I love all of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

It Continues....

2007-04-29T02:19:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. So as the end of the year approaches quickly I figure that I had better finish posting my reviews so I can do my special tribute post to cap it all off. So, what was going on in my life this time last year. Well I broke up Susy, which was really hard to do. Hurting people you really care about is something that really sucks but being honest with people you care about is super important. I still feel bad when I think back about how hard it was for her after we broke up, it was hard for me too. I did the best I could to be a good friend and be there and I am glad that we still talk once and awhile these days. Truthfully I am glad she has found someone that makes her happy and I wish them nothing but the best. That was the big event from spring semester of my junior year. Oh, and how could I forget the first ever Brad Coulombe challenge which the dirty danzas won in a landslide victory. So many stupid, painful, and embarrassing things done for pride and bragging rights. I will miss taking part in the challenge next year or maybe I will bring it with me where ever it is that I end up. Unfortunately I still have no idea where that will be. Anywayz here is the class rundown for the spring semester of my junior year.

Hist 3103 Medieval Europe Prof Jennifer Deane

This guys was pretty cool. I would admit I really kinda half assed my way through it though. I was kinda bummed for most of the semester and ended up skipping this class a fair bit. I think if I had gone to class more awake and ready to learn I would have gotten a lot more out of this class. Admittedly my lack of effort and enthusiasm is completely my fault. Jenn is really good prof who knows her stuff and always made class interesting. Really good class that I regret skipping a lot. I give this class a B+.

Hum 1002 Norse Saga Prof Janet Erickson

This was my first ever 8 am and I told myself it would be my last. One of the big selling points of this class was that I got to take it with Patrick. Janet is an extremely intelligent prof who really really knows her stuff. That being said I also think she is borderline crazy lol. She is a really cool prof but she is very demanding for papers and tests and such. I really enjoyed the readings from this class since I am kind of a mythology buff. The only thing that was harder then the papers was actually getting up and going to this class every Tuesday and Thursday. One would think that with 2 alarms going off that Pat and I would always get up and go.....that person would be wrong. This class was cool but would have been much better if it had been later in the day. I give this class a B+.

Pol 3352 Modern Political Thought Prof Bill Hunt

Another Bill Hunt class. The funny thing about this class was that I stopped doing the readings about half way through the semester and just faked my way through the positions cards and the exams and I still got an A. Like I said in an earlier post Bill really just wants to his own ideas and values fed back to him. Part of winning is having a good strategy, and the strategy for defeating bill is easy. The vanilla gorilla downs bill hunt, the lewt=an A in the class.(such a wow nerd). I give this class a C.

Pol 3231 Con Law Prof Greg Thorson

This class was fun. Listening to Greg talk about a wide variety of civil liberties issues rather amused me. As usual Greg made this class fun and interesting. However, I really hate the clickers and the stupid ass wiki things he tried to implement in this course. Greg is definitely one of the more technologically advanced profs on this campus(more so then any of the computing services ppl) but some technology is just not good at enhancing the course. I give this course an A.

Well only 2 semesters left folks so stay tuned for the final 2. Remember I love each and everyone one of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

The Saga Continues.....

2007-04-23T22:46:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. Hard to believe that in a matter of weeks I will be graduating and forced to make a decision about where to attend law school. Things that require a lot of thought suck :( I keep hoping law school is gonna be a fresh start for me somewhere and hopefully I can shed the weight of my past failures, easier said then done though. Oh well I thought I better keep this story going so that I can end the school year with a post thanking everyone who made my college experience memorable and saying some things that I need to say to each of you. But for now the fall semester of my junior year. After a ton of debate I decided to return to Morris instead of transferring. I wrestled with this decision all summer, because I felt that returning to Morris betrayed something I had once told someone, in a way I still feel that way. However, when I came back I was extremely lucky that a beautiful lady took an interest in me. I am talking of course about the lovely Susy McCabe. Susy made me feel dateable again and helped restore part of the confidence I had lost. A lot of people couldn't understand exactly how important something like this is until you lose it and have to get it back. I consider myself lucky to have dated such a wonderful and beautiful girl. I also had a lot of good friends to make things fun: Patrick, Jon, Evan,Chris ... this is also the semester that I met Brad and Alex. I liked Alex from the moment I met him, he just kind of fit in naturally like he had been here for years. My first memory of brad is him telling us to check out the Dirty Danza website, while disgusted I also laughed my ass off and thought brad was our kinda people. As for classes here is how it went down.

History 1101 Intro to History of the world to 1500 Prof Jennifer Deane This class was about what I expected from an intro course. However, Jennifer made it fun and interesting. Our discussion group was a lot of us debating back and forth. I can't decided whether I talk to much or just have a rather dominating personality when put in that type of group setting. Anywayz the class wasn't bad and was fairly easy. Also Jenn is very attractive. I give this class a B.

History 3207 The Crusades Prof Jennifer Deane This class rocked ass! This is one of the most fun and interesting classes I have ever taken. I genuinely liked the readings and going to class every day. I also liked the disputatio thing we had to do because I utterly destroyed the other kids I was partnered with :) Also Dana and I would always be whispering funny observations back and forth, Dana pretty much rocked her disputatio thing too. Overall the class was tons of fun and Jenn did a great job making the material fun and interesting. I give this class an A+.

Pol 3351 Political Thought : Ancient and Medieval Prof Bill Hunt Ok, for those of you who don't know already there is an excellent strategy for getting an A in a Bill Hunt class. The strategy is as follows repeat everything Bill has said in your papers and tests and during class discussion pretend to be uber left wing or even in favor of socialism or communism and never let on that you are conservative in any way at all. I guess I have learned to adapt myself to a a variety of situations in order to yield the result I want, a very important skill especially for any class Bill teaches. Overall the material was ok, it drug out sometimes and many of the other people in the class weren't very good to debate with. I give this class a C-.

Pol 4211 The American Presidency Prof Greg Thorson I think between me and Mac we skipped every Friday session of this class. This is prolly the Greg Thorson class I liked the least. The subject matter was just not all that exciting or interesting. Greg did his best to the class interesting and fun which he always does a great job at. But the history and poli sci writings of the American Presidency was just not all that interesting to me. I give this class a B.

Anywayz, stay tuned for the last 3 semesters and the special post to see if I have some things to say to ya. Remember I love everyone of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

My Darkest Day...

2007-04-17T03:02:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. I guess I really need to hurry up and finish these reviews of my classes before the semester runs out. This is the semester that is hardest to put into words. It's funny how some things can be explained perfectly by words and how others simply can't be explained. The worst day of my life happened several days into this semester. The person I loved more than anything left me without a real explanation of why.Of course I fell apart rather rapidly and just lost it. I can really say that for a few weeks after it happened that I completely lost touch with reality and everything was kind of a blur. I stopped eating and sleeping and going to class for the most part, and lost quite a bit of weight(wish that would have stayed off). I can honestly say that this was me at my very worst. I must admit it certainly wasn't easy to know that someone picked up their stuff and moved home shortly after this happened. So basically I spent a couple months in my room on the couch, tv off, and lights off wallowing in the depths of misery. I credit 2 people with helping snap me out of it. The first is my dad, my dad and I had not had a good relationship for a long time but he was the one person who I actually talked to about the situation and got to hear everything I had to say about the situation. However, asking for help has never been my style so you can imagine how difficult discussing something like this with someone you aren't on great terms with was. But through it all my dad was there for me whenever I needed to talk, and that is something I will be eternally grateful for. The second person I have to thank is Jon. Jon caught me going to dinner one night when I started eating regularly again and made me come and eat with him and the rest of the guys. Jon and some of the other guys made me feel like I was welcome to hang out with them and be part of the group. This gave me something to do instead of lay around moping all the time. It didn't make the pain go away(nothing ever has) but it helped me get my life somewhat on track. Again I can never thank Jon for what he did because words can't convey what that did for me. I managed to finish the semester with ok grades and a drop. However, I was wrestling with leaving Morris for the entire semester and and even got in contact with some other schools. Anywayz, I better review the classes:P

Econ 1111 Principles of Microeconomics Prof Pareena Lawrence

This class was pretty fun. I didn't like that we had to do group work at the end of class work everyday. Those of you who know me know that I don't care much for group work. Pareena was a really good instructor and make really bad jokes that were only funny cuz she laughed at them so hard. The material wasn't the most interesting thing in the world but that class was enjoyable and she was a really good prof. She actually asked me to be a tutor for this course the next time she taught it, apparently she thought I had the personality(I have one?) and skill(hmmmm) for it. I know I was puzzled too. I give this class a b+.

Phil 2101 Intro to Symbolic Logic Prof Lory Lemke

Ok so I'm really good at logic proofs since Patrick basically taught me how to do them which basically made the first part of the course really easy. However, some of the later material and word problems were just confusing and complicated as hell. Also, the papers he assigned were rather odd and the only reason I did reasonably well on the first few was with Patrick's help. However, on the later paper's even Patrick didn't seem to know what he wanted, and if Patrick doesn't know then you know it's messed up(Patrick=god of all things Logic). Another thing that was annoying about this course is that when he made comments on your work Lemke wrote in what seemed to be a combination of pictographs and hieroglyphics which were impossible to translate. Lory was a nice guy and a decent prof but this course was dull and hard to understand in certain parts thus I give it a C-.

Phil 2111 Intro to Ethics Prof don't remember her name

This is the class I basically stopped going to as a result of my breakdown. I remember the course being okay, and it was rather easy for me since I had already done most of the readings in an earlier Bill Hunt class. I remember the prof using really neat and funny examples to demonstrate points but since I stopped caring about anything I decided that sleep was more important and stopped going to the class. I ended up using my one free drop on this class. I can't give this class a grade because I didn't experience enough of it.

Pol 3232 Con Law Prof Greg Thorson

Ok I have to admit I really kind of half assed my way through this class. I just wasn't motivated to do well at anything. However, many of the discussions from this class were rather interesting despite some of the subject matter being a bit dull at times. A fairly typical Greg Thorson class.
I give this class an A-.

So that concludes my sophomore year next time we move on to fall semester junior year. Remember I love everyone of you who reads this. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Sophmore Year Fall Semester- The Calm Before the Storm

2007-04-06T00:58:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So as the title indicated this is the review of the fall semester of my sophmore year, but I'm gonna include the summer session I took before this as well. At this point I was really loving my life because everything seemed to be going my way and I was truly happy for the first time in my life.....gosh looking back it seems like forever since this all happened. During the fall I was living with Patrick although neither of us spent much time in our room, really it was just a place to store things and visit once in awhile. I was kind of an adopted member of Spooner basement where I lived with fiance at the time, having a bathroom to myself was nice and I enjoyed getting to spend lots of time with my signifcant other, although sometimes I'm sure got I her way or annoyed her a bit, I of all people realize what a pain in the ass I can be sometimes. Anywayz back to the review which your all dying to read. \

Music 1041 Intro to Music Prof: I don't remember his name

Ok so the only reason I did well in this class is the help of my fiance at the time who basically coached me through the things he wanted us to know like identifying notes by sound and playing stuff on the piano. The class was relatively enjoyable and the prof was ok I remember thinking to myself a lot that he was a major metrosexual and that he was prolly bi also. On the whole(hehe I said hole) it wasn't a terrible class but it was annoying to have to deal with some of the unreasonable expectations of the class that were definitely outside my skill set.I give this class a C-.

Phys 1052 The Solar System Prof Gordon MacIntosh

This class rocked. Despite looking like a member of ZZ Top Gmac was an awesome prof who knew his stuff backward forwards and sideways. I had an awesome lab partner for this class who was exceptionally fast so we always got done with our lab first. This class was extremely well taught and gmac even managed to sneak a few really good jokes in once in awhile. I give this class an A.

Hist 1301 Intro to U.S. History Prof Rolland Guyotte

This class was really cool. Roland is definitely one of the most intelligent professors I have had. He had a rather odd lecture style and kind of jumped all over the place but he managed to cram so much cool information in each lecture it was worth listening to. I had this class with Dana and I remember giving her quite a few notes this semester for days she had missed. For a discussion leader I had the girl who sat 2nd chair violin next to my ex and would always tell her how I basically owned the discussion group, what can I say I rock(omg I'm such a dirty liar). Rolland was a really cool prof who gave tons of info and gave pretty decent tests. Overall I give this class a B+.

Pol 1401 Intro to World Politics Prof Jay Nisly

It is to bad that Nisly left and got a job at a major university instead of staying and teaching at UMM. A very knowlegeable and fun prof who incorporated humor with quite a few of his lectures but still conveyed the necessary information. I really wish I could have taken an upper division course with him while he was here . The only downfall of this class was listening to lots of stupid people voice their opinions on world politics. This one girl was obsessed with Brazil because that's where she was from and she would always repeatedly talk about why Brazil was better than America at completely random times. We also had other random idiots in this class who had similar behaviors. Stupid people aside Nisly made the course enjoyable and gave really easy tests. I give this class a B.

Pol 3201 The Legislative Process Prof Greg Thorson

So this is the semester when Greg became my advisor and learned who I was lol. This is also the first class where I really knew my friend Mac Wilson. I really enjoyed this class because I really like Greg's teaching style. We talked a lot about the presidential election that happened in November. There was quite a bit of reading in this class which was rather annoying at times but it was usually fairly manageable. When we did our committee exercise at the end of the year I had fun and especially enjoyed being the chairman of our fake committee(me with any type of power is a scary thing). The moment I won't forget from this class is the one time Greg offered to let me teach class for a day. I give this class an A.

Pol 4221 Judicial Politics Prof Greg Thorson

Poor Greg he had to see me everyday of the week for the entire semester. This class was relatively small and Jen was there too. Jen and I weren't well acquainted yet but I remember thinking she was rather bright when she talked. Most of this class seemed like Greg and I talking back and forth which no one else seemed to mind. I really enjoyed most of the reading from this class since I am interested in law and things relating to law and as to be expected Greg made this class very fun and interesting. I give this class an A and I still feel sorry for Greg for having to see me every day of the week for an entire semester.

So that does it for summer semester and fall semester of sophmore year. This was a period of my life which made me really happy. I suppose I should be grateful that I got to be so happy for a year and a half but I find myself missing it more than being thankful for it. Anywayz next semester is when the wheels really came off the bus and things went from great to awful. However, I will save that happy and exciting topic for my next post. I hope you are doing well and succeeding in your various endeavors. I love everyone of ya who reads this on a regular basis. Peace and much love.

-Jake

STOP....Hammertime!

2007-03-28T22:46:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So, I promised to post more and here it is. We had our video scavenger hunt this past weekend. The Cobra Commandos(myself, Patrick, and Dan) proved to victorious over The Aqua Teen Munger Force and The Sissy Girls. It was an extremely close battle between Cobra and the ATMF. I must say that I don't recommend taking a metal broom to the back twice or getting clotheslined by Patrick. Then again winning is what really matters and win is what we did.... COBRA! I recently finished up the whole senior seminar ordeal and yesterday was the last set of presentations we had to suffer through. My presentation(last week) went fairly well and I thought I handled the questions rather well, with the exception of one of Greg's. I maintain that until that part of the poli sci program undergoes a complete revamp that it is a worthless and time consuming experience. I have also been busy administering homelessness surveys in the Fargo area, which went fairly well. Classes are going fairly well, Professor Shorb seems to think rather highly of my TA abilities and has felt the need to tell me so on several occasions. What can I say I am the world's greatest TA(lol jk), and so very humble. My world religion class has gone well, I got the high score on the midterm, I was a bit disappointed though cuz I got a few questions wrong when I really should have gotten a perfect score(my bad). My oral interpretation class has gone better than I expected, it really isn't that different than speech was. I'm used to a very different speaking style but adapting have been that difficult. Also, the prof has seemed to rather enjoy my performances. I really didn't expect to enjoy the class as much as I do. What can I say I'm a good performer(another obvious lie);)I should be getting law school decisions soon then begins the difficult process of deciding where to go...... this is gonna be a tough one. Anywayz back to rating my college courses. Let's see spring semester of my freshmen year. The best day of my life was in this semester when I asked an amazing girl to marry me and she said yes, needless to say many people were shocked since no one really knew that I was gonna pop the question then again my intentions often remain a secret until a decision is necessary. I was enjoying the company of all my friends in Pine Hall and enjoyed hanging out and goofing off. Sigh..... seems like a life time ago that things were so great. However, here is what my classes looked like.

English 1o11: College Writing Prof: Jenny Joiner

I ended up enjoying this class since it often turned into a discussion about a wide variety of things and I did most of the talking. Professor got kid of annoyed at everyone else's lack of participation at times which was rather amusing to me. I will also admit that Jenny was a rather attractive lady which made listening a much easier task. When I turned in my final paper for the class she told me that she thought I was gonna make a great lawyer in a few years(I took this as a big complement since before she became a prof she was a legal secretary). The class was enjoyable with a good prof. Grade:A-

Physics 1053: Intro to Stars, Galaxies, and Cosmology Prof: Kristen Kearns

Hands down the worst class I have taken at UMM. The prof was a terrible lecturer, didn't know the material worth a shit, and was extremely dull and boring. Everyone but 5 people failed the first test(Patrick and I both passed god knows how). Basically the class was just fucking awful. I think I skipped this class like 15 or 16 times, which for me is unheard of. I learned more from reading the assigned book then attending lecture. This is the only class I have ever fallen asleep in. Playing moose vs rhino with Patrick was the only thing that made going to this class tolerable. I have no idea how Pat and I got B+'s from his course, the working assumption is that we both blacked out then paper bagged her and spit roasted her........terrifying yes, plausible...who knows. This class sucked huge Elephant dick. Grade: F

Pol 1201: American Government and Politics Prof: Dr. Gregory Thorson

Ahhhhhhh this class was great. I can't say I learned a lot from the course since most of it seemed like high school civics all over again. However, I was introduced to the brilliance of Greg Thorson. Greg made class enjoyable and demonstrated an incredible ability to analyze and breakdown current events and material that impressed me quite a bit. Not to mention Greg always found a way to keep things relaxed and funny. The funny thing about this class was that I don't think Greg even knew who I was at this point since I only talked in the class a handful of times. Dana and I managed to have fun in class though since we were usually writing or whispering something amusing. This class was a lot of fun and I met the man who would become my academic mentor and advisor. Grade: A

Span 1002: Beginning Spanish 2 Prof: Tom Turner

This class was great. First, Tom Turner is a pimp no ifs, ands, or buts about it. He made the class relatively easy as well I mean the study guides were the tests so it was a fairly easy course. Although I must admit I had a damn good Spanish tutor who made sure I learned my vocab as well as how to correctly pronounce things, but we did get distracted fairly often. Tom made class a whole lot of fun and always seemed to be happy to be teaching and interacting with students. Getting the high score on most of the tests was cool and Tom even mentioned on a few tests that I seemed to have a talent for language and should push my Spanish to a higher lvl. Fun class, great prof, and easy tests with extra credit on every one. Grade : A

So there we are folks that was my freshmen year, next post we move on to summer semester and sophomore year. I hope these updates will tide you over for now and if you wanna know more just ask via email, facebook, etc. Anywayz, I love everyone one ya who reads this and hope you are doing well. Peace and much love.

-Jake

The Challenge........

2007-03-26T02:18:00.000-05:00

We won!

I'll post more soon.

A review....

2007-02-19T00:09:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. So I got this idea from Mac since he did the same thing on his blog last year. What I will be doing is reviewing and grading all my classes since freshmen year during my next series of posts. So lets travel back in time to 2003. Moving to college is a scary thing for many kids, but I was so ready to move on and start college since I hated high school. I was very excited and glad to begin my adventure in Morris in the fall of 2003. Fall semester had a lot of good times, I met some of my very good friends at this time Jon, Dana, and my most loyal companion Patrick. I also tricked the most beautiful girl in Morris into dating me, still not sure how I managed that one, I guess it's better to be lucky than good. Anywayz, this semester was a lot of fun thanks in part to the people mentioned above. Class wise here is how it panned out.

FYS: Greek Myhtology Prof: Jeanne Purdy
This class was a lot of fun. Having a fairly strong background in Greek mythology it was really rather easy since most of what we read was just a review for me. However, Jeanne let discussion be fun and interesting so I enjoyed the class a lot. There were also a large number of attractive girls in the class and only one other guy. I also enjoyed playing most of the lead roles in the skits we did at the Jamboree since I was the only guy willing to do so, I' m deeply sorry to those of you who had to watch me gyrate to Zeus Lightning.
I give this class an A.

Intro to Political Science Prof: Bill Hunt
At the time I really hated this class, there were so many idiotic, hippy, radicals that drug out topics much longer then necessary. However, looking back on this class I really like certain things. I met tons of friends who suffered through this class with me: Mac, Jon, Jen, Adam, Dan, and several others. Although at this point I didn't know any of them very well and Jen and I didn't think very highly of each other, dumb I know. Most of the subject matter in this class was really silly and the books were kind of a joke in my opinion. Bill has the bad habit of wanting exactly what he says regurgitated back to him in essays and the article reviews from "reputable new sources" were lame. I didn't mind discussions groups that much. I give this class a B.

Beginning Spanish 1 Prof: I forget lol sorry
This class wasn't difficult. I remembered a good deal from high school spanish and I had a good spanish tutor, although I must admit sometimes we got kinda sidetracked. Most of the tests and assignments were ridiculously easy. I really didn't hate or love this subject, I mostly viewed it as something that had to be done to graduate. The prof wasn't super dull or super exciting. I give this class a C.

Intro to Stats Prof: Jon Anderson
Anderson was fun, he made a lot of good jokes and made the class fun. I wasn't super fond of the daily quizzes he issued and almost daily homework. I also didn't like the fact that he doesn't use in between grades. I kinda wish I had take the class with Sungur since I heard he was easy and let you use a cheat sheet instead of trying to memorize formulas for Anderson and the final being 40% of the final grade was also a bit annoying. Overall the class was pretty enjoyable and not overly difficult. I give this class a B-.

First Aid Prof: Penney
This class was ridiculously easy. I took this class so I would have 15 credits and could keep the full amount on my state grants. In a lot of ways this class was a joke since all the instructor did was copy notes directly from the book. However, this class only lasted a half semester and never lasted longer than an hour so it was tolerable. I give this class a C.

So that was my first semester I was still adjusting to college life and stuff but enjoying myself overall. So keep reading if you wanna see what happens to our hero(me) in the coming semesters. Anywayz I love all of ya and hope you had a good V-day and spent it with someone you love, and got yourself some;) Peace and much love.

-Jake

Catching up...

2007-02-13T03:58:00.000-06:00

Hey there everyone. So I am sure you have all been waiting for an update for sometime....not! Well on Saturday I retook the Lsat on Saturday and I feel better about this test then I did about the last one. Hopefully I will get a good score so I can go to a good law school. I've pretty much accepted that I won't end up in Minnesota, unless I somehow got a score good enough to get me into the U. However, it is likely I didn't get a score that will allow me to do that so I prolly be shipping off to somewhere new. I honestly kind of like the thought of getting to make a new start somewhere else right now. I think getting away from this state would do me a lot of good. At least that's what Greg and I kinda decided at our meeting today. I always feel really good about myself after having a meeting with Greg he always makes me feel like I have talent and that I'm on a different lvl than most ppl, also he is one of the few ppl that has always believed in me even through the tough times. Today he mentioned that if the law school thing didn't work out I should consider going to grad school and becoming a prof because he thought I would make a great one. Me teaching is a funny thought. It's nice to get that little ego boost every now and again. Anywayz classes this semester are okay I took a fairly easy load. So as soon as I get my lsat score back and stuff figured out I'll let ya know the list of places I end up. Where in the U.S.A will the Legend end up?I must admit I find myself thinking about how long it's been. 2 years is a long time. Some ppl forget and some ppl don't. Some day love will find me again, maybe. Amazing how some things stick with you for so long. Since it's Valentines tommorow here is a free piece of advice to everyone. Treasure that special person in your life, people have no idea how lucky they are to have someone to love and care for. Take care of that person, make sure they know you love them,and never take them for granted because you never know what may happen. I don't really like valentine's day because love is something that should be celebrated and shown everyday, not just once a year. Anywayz, enough of my lame free advice and ramblings. Remember I love of all ya. I hope everyone out there is spending time with someone they truly love. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Hardware Store

2007-02-01T02:02:00.001-06:00

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

NO CHEATING...
Some cool answers some confusing ones..

What does next year have in store for me?
Playmate of the Year- Zebrahead

What does your love life look like?
Take on Me- Aha

What do I say when life gets hard?
I'll be the last one Standing-Emerson Drive

What do I think when I get up in the morning?
Baby Got Back- Sir Mix Alot

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Sexual Healing- Marvin Gaye

What do you want as a career?
Def Leppard- Foolin

Your favorite saying?
Life is like a boat(Nobody knows)- Ending theme from Bleach

Favorite place?
Brokenheartsville- Joe Nicols

What do you think of your parents?
CCR- Bad Moon Rising

Where would you go on a first date?
Sister Christian- Night Ranger

Drug of choice?
Hold my Hand- Hooty and the Blowfish

Describe Yourself?
Digital Love- Daft Punk

What is the thing I like doing most?
Long train Running- The Doobie Brothers

The song that best describes the president?
In da Club- 50 Cent

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
Take me home tonight- Eddie Money

How will I die?
So Cold - Crossfade

The song you'll put as the subject?
Hardware Store- Weird Al

A much needed update...

2007-01-10T23:42:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone. So here is a quick run down of what is new and/or important. Grades for the semester were acceptable, the only unfortunate part is that I need to wait awhile longer to get the other 2 grades posted. I will be taking the lsat again in Feb since my Dec score sucked. This time I will be victorious because failure is not an option. More intense preparations will be put into this test. I went in and talked to Greg about lsat and grades today. I must admit that I always feel pretty good about myself after talking to Greg, although him always telling me to be more confident about my abilities does get a little annoying. Some people have a great deal of self confidence others don't and some can fake it when they need it. However, it is nice to know there are a few people out there that believe in me a great deal, especially ones I have a great deal of respect for. School is starting again shortly and this semester should be fairly easy all things considered. I must admit I absolutely hate the fact that my senior sem class mandates attendance at everyone else's senior sem even those who are not from my class. One phrase to describe that policy DEE DEE DEE!!!! Needless to say I will be wasting many Tuesday afternoons listening to presentations I could care less about. I also found out that for the BC release the Alex game stop is having a special midnight release meaning I will most definitely be there. Also I have been thinking a lot lately and here is the short list of things I am thankful for: WoW, 2 dogs that have listened whenever I need to talk about anything, a great and supportive dad and a very entertaining group of friends. Anywayz, remember that I love all of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

P.S. Some amusing links:

A song about Dota - http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/DOTA/?m=rated&tf=daily
Wow is all I can say- http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/sports/Better_Than_City_Jumping/
You think this is cool you should hear me bust rhymes at the buffet- http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/song_dance/Fast_Food_Freestyle/
Guys here is a gift idea for your ladies -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MmLsfch3oQ

Approaching the End...

2006-12-15T03:54:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone. As the title of the post indicates the semester is almost over. Luckily I only have two finals this semester which are both on Monday but they are both rather long comprehensive finals, oh well. Unfortunately, I do have a list of things to do over x-mas break which include getting a haircut(my hair is uncharacteristically long at the moment and looks rather doofy), working on a personal statement for law school(maybe), finishing and polishing my senior sem(god I hate this)and seeing a select few people over break. The whole senior sem thing really bothers me. They try to sell it as this large team effort that you need to do well on because it's the so called "capstone" of your college career and makes your degree more valuable somehow. First, if it is the so called "capstone" of my college career why is this requirement no more then 2 years old? Second, I don't believe my degree will be worth more or less based on the quality of 8 senior sems. Third, I honestly don't care how anyone else does on theirs I'm not getting graded based on their projects. To make the situation even worse we are forced to attend every other person's senior seminar from the poli sci division or it will negatively impact your final grade. Fuck that noise! I try to refrain from swearing on here but that deserves it. We even have to show up on days where no one from our class is presenting. Honestly the whole senior seminar thing for poli sci hasn't been well thought out or well implemented at all and needs some serious work to be valuable at all. Granted there is nothing I can do about it and I will do what is required of me but it doesn't mean I have to like it or be positive about it. The funny thing is according to Paula(prof who runs this god awful class)I write beautifully,only one term can describe that phrase omglmaowtfroflcoptercyclebbq. My buddy Josh will be home shortly over break so it will be good to see him. I'll prolly only spend a few days at home and most of the rest in Morris. I will most likely spend quite a few hours playing wow and doing other things to waste time instead of real work. Sigh, the real work has to get done though to so I can graduate and leave this place behind me. Getting the lsat back should be an interesting experience and hopefully my score will be good. I won't be telling people my score unless I'm happy with it, so if I have to retake the thing don't count on me telling you my score. Please don't try to give me some schpeal about being my friend and wanting to know cuz you care. Needless to say that will be a major source of anxiety and stress til I actually get it. I do apologize if my posts seem a bit down lately. Right now is quite a difficult time for me for a number of reasons but I'll drudge through it like I always do. Anyways I wanna wish you all a happy and safe holiday season I hope you are able to spend it with people you care about and who care about you enjoy yourselves but be smart and safe. Peace and much love.

-Jake

If strength was borne from heartache, then mountains I could move..

2006-12-05T00:38:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. So basically I am writing because I am bored and I don't wanna work on my rough draft of my senior sem which is due on wed and I haven't started it yet. I've grown quite apathetic this year and really just want the school year to end so I can move on to the next chapter of my life. However, I'm not exactly sure what the next chapter of my life is supposed to be at this point. As fas as I can tell I'm going to go to law school somewhere and try to put myself back together as best I can. Where and how I plan on doing this are still under much debate. There is a large part of me that simply wants to leave Minnesota and attempt to start somewhere new, I mean I would certainly miss all my friends and such but being on my own really doesn't bother me and an area where no one knows anything about me is something that has a strong appeal to me. I guess a large part of my decision will be based on the actual lsat score I get. This will be a large source of anxiety for me for the next month. Everyone seems to react oddly when I say things like I wanna go somewhere where nobody knows who I am. I guess I'm just a really solitary person. Or maybe I just wanna do it on my own without any type of major assistance. I mean I like having people around a fair bit of the time but there is also a great deal of time that I would prefer to be alone. Also, I love my friends but if live near any of them I know they will attempt to drag me out with them. Which in reality is just a waste of time by both parties. First of all, I'm not a fan of parties or bars and the events that transpire at them. Second, the last thing I wanna do is ruin what could potentially be fun for other people by suffering through whatever I m talked into going to. Third, it just isn't fun for me. I never get the whole going out is good for you schpeal. I mean I realize the consequences of my choices and I am willing to deal with those. It's not even like the consequences are that bad so I end up spending some time alone doing something I enjoy, god forbid that should happen. Honestly, it's not like I'm addicted to crack or anything. I'm hoping law school will provide some positive change for me, a change that I have needed for quite awhile. I hate to admit it but my bitter old grand father correctly described life as one unpleasant change after another shortly before he died. This phrase pretty much encompasses the last two years of my life. I just really need something good to happen. In other news I will be T.A. ing for a history class next semester. I don't know how I keep getting offered these positions, obviously the profs don't know me very well:) Professor Shorb who offered me the job said he was impressed by my maturity(lol wtf), acamdemic ability(ha!), and classroom presence(wtf does this even mean?). I think the UMM faculty seriously over rates my abilities,however it gets me paid so their bad. I do wanna thank everyone who called,messaged, or personally spoke to me about the lsat and inquired about how it went and/or wished me luck on it. All of your kind words are appreciated and I hope that I was able to live up to my own expectations and make all of you proud as well. Anywayz that's all I got for now so remember I love everyone of ya and happy and safe holidays to all of you. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Over...

2006-12-02T20:29:00.000-06:00

The LSAT is done I will tell you how it went when I get my score back. I hope I did ok.

-Jake

Soon it shall be done...

2006-11-30T02:01:00.000-06:00

LSAT on Saturday it's time to see whether I come up big or I choke. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.

Since our server sucks....

2006-11-06T23:56:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. So basically I am writing because our school network really sucks which inhibits my wow playing ability. Unfortunately when I'm not playing wow or doing homework I start thinking...always a scary thing. I have been thinking a lot lately about the person I am and the person I wanna be. The problem I find is that I find myself wishing that I was the person I once was. How does someone become someone they already were? Or maybe I aspire to be a better person than I am actually capable of being.I just don't know at this point. I havea great number of questions and a very limited number of answers. I keep telling myself that if I keep going things will eventually get better, I hope someday this actually happens. Guess we will see what happens if and when I get into a decent law school. I'm not foolish enough to think law school will magically solve all my problems but maybe a new place would be helpful. However, I also realize that a man can't outrun his own memories and thoughts. Anywayz that's a look into my twisted mind. Scared yet? Remember I love everyone of ya who reads this. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Ocho....

2006-10-26T03:07:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So, since I have been really bad at updating this thing so far I figured I would try to do it a bit more often. What can I say my legions of fans demanded more updates(legions of fans means the 5 ppl in the world who actually know who I am, I am totally kidding that number has to be at least 8). Not that I have a great deal to say or any significant news just a random jumble of thoughts. First off, a lot of people have been talking to me about personal issues lately. Now I certainly don't mind listening(in fact I would like to consider myself a good listener)but I find myself having a hard time giving out advice about a variety of topics. However, here are a few bits of advice I would offer up to ppl. Certain things in life are hard to get over, in fact some things a person can never forget. The tough part is living with the loss or change and trying to keep going in a semi successful manner. Someone once told me sometimes all you can do is try your best to get by and if that's all you can do then at least your trying and no one can knock ya for it. Another piece of good advice is, never let anyone determine who you are or what you wanna do. Never hold yourself to anyone else's standards or expectations. If you can look at yourself in the mirror everyday and say I like who I am, what I am doing, and the way my life is going then that's all that matters. Finally, take responsibility for your own actions. If you mess up have the guts to admit your mistake and do your best to make things right. None of us are perfect(except maybe Jon and Patrick)and making mistakes is natural but it's important to admit your mistakes and learn from them. This is one area I could use some work in. I blame myself for too much sometimes. I can think of several situations where I take responsibility for something failing when it wasn't necessarily my fault. Relationships,grades, and a wide variety of other things are good examples. For some reason I will always blame myself for the failing of my relationship with someone(you all know who I mean).As much as I wish I could blame someone else I can't. I will always think of it as my failure to be perfect in some way or another. Sometimes I think trying to define myself by success in whatever I do is a bad idea. But then again that's how I have always defined myself. And really if I don't have success what do I have? I m strictly speaking in the academic sense because I pretty much fail at everything that counts. Maybe that's why law school will be a good fit for me, I m desperate for success and law school basically demands people strive for it. I do apologize if this is a bit long but these are the types of things I often find myself thinking about. For being as goofy and silly as I am I do quite a bit of serious thinking everyday, shocking I know. Before I make my closing remarks I have one more observation. One thing I have learned is that most girls either really like red heads or really don't. I mean honestly ask yourself if any girl you know has ever described a red headed male as attractive or desireable without prompting it is certainly not one of the first things that comes out of a girl's mouth(you know the whole tall dark and handsome thing). I find this odd because most guys I know find red headed females to be quite attractive. Something to mull over in your spare time. Anywayz sorry if I bored any of you with this long post but it's late and I felt like writing so I did. Remember I love everyone of ya who reads this. Peace and much love.

-Jake

P.S. The phrase "this would be really awkward if I could get an erection" is hilarious and should be used whenever possible. The same is true of the phrase " then get me his non-union mexican equvalent".

What to say..

2006-10-20T20:20:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So it's been awhile since I have actually posted on this thing and I thought I would throw out a few updates for those who are interested. First, I recently got papers back for my Modern Japan and Intro to East Asian history classes and got an A- on both. Certainly not the best grade but it was the first paper I have written for the prof and I intend to demand better from myself the next time. Anything short of excellence is unacceptable. I find myself having a difficult time caring about my senior sem. One reason I dislike it so much is they try to sell the class and the project as a team environment. It really is stupid to pretend it's a team effort when your performance and ability will end up determining your grade. Also to a large extent I don't care how well other people in the class do especially since I don't know many of them and none of them are people I would consider friends. Maybe it's because I'm a very self sufficient and I don't really need a support network for this type of thing but I just find the class to be a waste of time and a large hassle. Oh well enough complaining about that. There isn't a whole lot of news to report. I struggle through each day the best I can and hope that things will eventually get better. I've been waiting for so long for things to improve I just wish they would but maybe this is fate that was meant for me.Perhaps law school will make things better if nothing else it will be a bit different than what I am used to.Everyone be sure to wish Chris a happy and safe birthday this Sunday since it will be his 21st. Anywayz remember all that I love everyone of ya. Peace and much love everyone.

-Jake

ZOMG(Warning: contents of post may not be as exciting as the capital letters might indicate)

2006-09-13T09:57:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So I pretty much suck at updating this thing. I think a big part of it is that I'm fairly busy, however my life really isn't that exciting. But for those of you who are interested in what's going on here are some updates. I am back in Morris and attending classes once again. This semester I am taking Modern Japan, Intro to East Asian History, Rural Housing Policy and my Senior Sem. Modern Japan is an 8 am, I don't know why I decided to take another one these I guess I am just a glutton for punishment. Living in an on campus apt is fairly nice however one of my roommates is a huge slob. That being said it is still a fairly enjoyable experience. I have a job TAing for a history class this semester. It never ceases to amaze me how many professors have been willing to allow me to warp young minds. I'll be taking my LSAT this semester but I will be doing it in December. I realize that this is rather late but right now I don't feel adequately prepared to take such an important test. I honestly don't know where I am going to law school right now. I have said a number of times I will go the best place Greg can get me into. Several years ago it would have mattered tremendously to me where I ended up because it wouldn't have been just my decision. Now that it is just me I really have no ties that restrict where I will or won't go. On a personal note, it's alot of the same as it has been for almost 2 years now. Funny how certain thoughts and memories never seem to go away. Anyways, I shall continue to get from day to day as best I can. I'll survive somehow,I may not always flourish but I will always survive. Remember everyone I love all of ya more than I could ever say. Peace and much love.

-Jake

So yeah.....

2006-08-13T02:45:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So I suck at updating this thing. I think my lack of updating is due in large part to the fact that nothing exciting is happening in my life. During the day I just kinda hang out and at nights wow keeps me busy. Other than that I m really really boring. Still trying to get certain things resolved before school starts however I m not sure that will be possible. I am looking forward to goingback to school and seeing all my friends again and hangingout. Also looking forward to living with Pat, Alex, and Chris. Make sure you stop by the apartment and visit. Really should start doing lsat stuff sometime soon....oh well. Lots on my mind these days but then again thats nothing new. Sometimes I would just like to let a lot of it out...alas some things just arent possible. Some day things will make sense again and I will be as happy as I once was. Anyways before I say to much I'm gonna go. Remember I Love all of ya very much. Peace and much love.

-Jake

P.S. This is post number 100 for me. Thank you to all of those who continue to read the story that is my life and tolerate the content with in.

This always happens...

2006-07-17T14:47:00.000-05:00

hi everyone. Sorry I havent posted in so long I guess I forget people actually read this to keep up with whats going on in my life. Well the state of my life right now seems to be following the trend of the last 2 years. Something good happens then something really bad happens. This time I feel really stupid....I mean I always do but this time I feel especially dumb. I wont say to much about it via my blog but ya this pretty much sucks.Hopefully I ll be able to deal with it and not be the one who gets screwed but I guess we will see. Other than that I spend a lot of time on wow and just chillen at home. I m very boring I know. Anyways I love everyone of ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

What to say.......

2006-06-25T15:13:00.000-05:00

For a person who talks to much most of the time I find myself struggling to write this. I have a lot to say and express the problem is I don't know if I should. Often times I find myself holding most things back because I don't want people to know. Sometimes that takes it's toll. Sometimes is hard to remain calm, cool, and together. To those who read this regularly forgive me for the rest of this post while I indulge myself a bit. Today was supposed to be an important day in my life and its difficult to look back and see the way things turned out. I still wish things could have been different. I hope where ever you are what ever your doing your safe and happy. I hope that every once in a great while you think of me and it makes you happy or smile even if its just a little. Today is a difficult day for me. I wish I could bring myself to say more but..I can't. Please forgive me all. Peace and much love.

Because I like to steal these types of things from other peeople's blogs...

2006-06-18T19:57:00.000-05:00

Dear Jake,
I _____ you. You have a nice______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________.

If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________.

We could __________ under the stars.

Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)

So do you wanna join? No thanks I only join clubs that rent porno movies call me if you get some though...

2006-06-18T03:25:00.000-05:00

Hey gorilla groupies. I keep wanting to update more often and tell everyone all the exciting and wonderful things that are happening to me, well the truth of the matter is there arent any. Such is my life. I m still trying to get hired but it seems like there are a few places interested now so maybe I have a chance. Other than applying for jobs and lots of thinking I spend a decent amount of time playing wow. I really should force myself to start studying for my lsat one of these days but oh well. So thats my exciting fun filled summer. I wish I had some good news or amusing stories to tell. The more I think about it the more I realize that I m a rather boring person. Oh well thats about all I have to say for now. Heard this line in a song the other day. All I can say is QFT(quoted for truth).

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

Remember all that I love ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake

Summer....

2006-06-06T03:15:00.000-05:00

Hey all. So summer here is really boring. I have been sending out a lot of job applications but still am without a job unfortunately. I wish someone would give me a chance... how many times in my life have I been here just hoping someone would let me prove I can do it. Unfortunately most of the people I have encountered have decided not to give me a chance both in personal matters as well as others. Well I got my rogue to 60 and joined a raid guild so that occupies a decent chunk of time other than that not too much going out here. A lot of me sitting around thinking about stuff.....sigh. I really miss the way everything used to be. There is a whole lot more to say but ill keep it to myself. On a different note I hope to force myself to start studying for my lsat soon because that's important too. Oh well that's all I m going to say right now. Remember all I love you a ton, everyone that reads this. Peace and much love.

-Jake

This seemed to fit...

2006-05-28T15:46:00.000-05:00

Over My Head- The Fray
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind

Blame it on the WOW....

2006-05-18T02:17:00.000-05:00

hey gorilla groupies. So I have been home for almost a week and I m bored tremendously already. Grades are finally up and to be honest I am very dissappointed in how I did. I got an A in modern political thought, an A in con law, but I got an A- in Medieval Europe and a B in Norse Sagas. I m upset with myself because I feel like I choked. When I really needed to get good grades I failed to do so. It seems like one mistake(1 bad paper in each class) really cost me. That seems to be the story of my life one mistake seems to cost me big time:( oh well the Gpa came down to 3.80(from 3.825)but its still ok I guess. For all you wow fans out there my rogue is up tolvl 54 and we have a blog dedicated to our group Click me check it out if you get a chance. I m looking for a job but there arent alot available in this area.However,I will continue pursuing one. Anyways thats all I got for now. Remember all the gorilla loves ya. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Almost There....

2006-05-06T13:45:00.000-05:00

hey gorilla groupies. So it's prolly freaking you out that I'm posting at 1:45pm instead of some random time in the am. Don't panic I'm just bored and had some stuff I wanted to write down. 3 papers down and 1 to go, got my Norse paper back and got a B+ on it, I am satisfied with that, it's not wuite up to par but Janet's pretty picky. I m really not looking forward to writing my last paper and taking my 3 finals, but oh well that's life. For those of you wow fans out there my rogue is now lvl 49,havent been able to play much lately but sure should help that. Now its time for some personal garbage so stop reading now if you aren't interested. Memory is such a funny thing. Memories can come at the oddest times for no partiular reason at all. The other day in Modern Political thought I had one of these moments. We were supposed to bewatching presentations but my mind began to wander. Somehow it always finds its way back to you. I'm not sure why or how but inevitably it always does. I could see you clear as day. Your long beautiful hair laying against your shoulders. You always wanted to change the color but I was never sure why. I always thought it was perfect. I hear it's darker now, I bet that looks good too. Your eyes were shining as always. They were always so clear and bright. Id compare them to something but that would fail to describe how amazing they were. And then there was your smile. Your smile had the ability to make the world seem ok again even when everything was a mess. Seeing it always made me feel like everything was ok becuase I had you. No one could look at your smile and remain unhappy. It was uncanny how much love, warmth, and happiness you could spread with your smile. I would have done anything to make you smile. After a little while I snappedback into reality. For some reason I had an urge to write this down, I'm not sure why. Maybe I just wanted to say this even if no one reads it or understands who its for or what its about. Or maybe it's so I never forget, people always tell you to forget things and move on but why would I ever want to forget someone so amazing and wonderful. I feel hypocritcal saying that because most times I myself dont wish to be remembered. In many cases I'm prolly just a footnote in their story or a minor character best forgotten. A lot of you probably wont understand and that's okay. I wanna say a quick thank you to everyone out there who puts up with me. I know often times I m not an easy person to be around and/or be friends with and I thank you for your friendship and patientence. Sorry if this post was too long and/or revealing but....well thats the way it was. Remember everyone the gorilla loves all of ya very much.Peace and much love groupies.
-Jake

P.S. The Chris Yard Fanclub is an awesome name for a WOW guild.:)

And you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon...

2006-04-30T19:06:00.000-05:00

hey gorilla groupies. Sorry that it's been so long since I blogged, I bet you are all going through Jake withdrawls.(lol jk)Anywayz not to much new or exciting in my life. My rogue is up to lvl 47, so close yet so far away. Not much school left unfortunately I have 4 papers and 3 finals. 2 of the papers are done. I m not sure how I will do on all of them I really was hoping for another straight A semester but I have a feeling that I will be getting something else in my Norse Sagas class. Oh well I m just going to have to wait and hope. Definitely not looking forward to writing the other 2 papers and taking all my finals. I m definitely ready for summer though. It will be nice to have some downtime. Something to look forward to is, that I have been having lots of dreams lately that would make good stories, so I might write them down in story form on here(despite being a crappy writer) but at least it will entertain everyone for a few minutes. However,I may or many not change the names around I havent decided yet. Similarly, the older I get the more I realize the importance of words. Words can be used as words or as tools to build someone up or used as weapons to destroy a person. So chose your words carefully because you never know what effect your words might have or what words a person might remember you by. Anywayz I love all of you. Peace and much love.
-Jake

A few words....

2006-04-15T22:38:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. In this post I'm gonna do something I prolly should more often, speak from the heart. Today is the the birthday of someone very special to me who once loved me very much, I wish that person a happy birthday where ever they are and whatever they are doing. My thoughts and heart are with you, always. Anywayz that was my short moment of spilling my guts, sorry to those of you who dont appreciate it or think I m weak for saying it,oh well I guess it is after all my blog. I love yall very much. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Oh what to do?

2006-04-14T01:21:00.000-05:00

Hey groupies. Sorry I go so long between posts but I usually find myself busy doing other things. Those tests I discussed in the last post turned out ok, I got A's on both of them, so my performance was fairly satisfactory but there is still room for improvement. I have been playing alot of wow lately my new rogue is up to lvl 35, and hes really pimped out, I got bored of my mage but hes at lvl 48. The end of this year is raising a lot of questions for me, not only about my future but about myself as well. Sometimes its really hard to focus cuz many of these questions are occupying what little brain space I have. I still havent reached an authoritative decision onwhether or not to come back, sometimes I m really excited to come back and such, and others I cant think of a single reason to stay, I guess we just have to wait and see. It really just breaks down to a few questions that I cant seem to answer yet? Then again this part of the year is really rough, this part of the year was a celebration for someone I cared for very deeply and still do, and its hard to think about it. Sometimes I really hate myself for caring so much about things and people and letting that play such a big role in my life, but its just who I am. Anywayz ill shut up and go to bed Remember all the Deuce loves everyone of ya who reads this

Jake

Then get me his non-union Mexican equivalent...

2006-04-02T22:02:00.000-05:00

hey groupies. Not much is new with the gorilla. Took a history test on friday so I am anxiously awaiting to get that back as well as my con law test.I admit I m kinda worried about these two I m not sure how well I did on either. I really need to get good grades this semester in order to keep pushing my poor gpa up unfortunately I m not sure if thats whats going to happen, sigh, I think I might have choke syndrome,meaninging whenever I really need to come up big or come through for someone I choke. I guess we will see when I get them back. The more I think lately the more reasons I seem to have for leaving Morris, I mean honestly there are only a few reasons I can think of for staying one of those being conveienance and/or ease. I m not quite sure if thats reason enough to stay. I dunno I guess I think there are way too many people in Morris who know way to much about me. Anywayz sorry folks if this was a depressingpost,but its honest. Ill try to update when I have more new info or thoughts. Remember all the gorilla loves ya lots. Peace and much love.
-Jake

P.S. I have acquired another new nickname, deuce.

Some things you never forget...

2006-03-27T02:49:00.000-06:00

Hey gorilla groupies. So whats new in the life of the Vanilla Gorilla? Well got my tests from last friday back.I got an A on the history test and a B+ on Bill's test,tried to talk him up 1more point but he wouldnt budge. Then On Tuesday took a test in Thorson's class so we will see how that turns out when he gets them back to us.I usually do ok on his tests but I never know til I get them back so we will see how it went. I decided to live with Pat, Alex, and Chris in an on campus apartment next year. Thats the current decision, of course that could change if I decide to leave which is still a possibility, I admit it seems kind of silly to transfer somewhere after putting in 3 years at Morris but I have my reasons. In all likelihood I will end up coming back to Morris next year and suffer through it and get it done. Then hopefully law school will take me far far away to a top tier law school, at least I hope. Unfortunately one can never outrun their past or their memories. Its been quite awhile now and I still can't get you out of my head or my heart. Sigh. Sorry about that folks but I been doing a lot of thinking lately and well I have a lot on my mind. Anwayz I ll shutup about that because I m sure you all have problems of your own to deal with. Anywayz I should go to sleep so I can get up and go to my history class which I ve skipped to manytimes this semester, also I need to register at 9am. Remember all the gorilla loves all of ya. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Is Mr. Sanders there? THE COLONEL??

2006-03-19T20:38:00.000-06:00

hey gorilla groupies. Sorry I m not posting as regularly as I should be but I simplay lack the motivation to post these days especially during this time of year. Break was pretty boring didnt do a whole lot. When I got back I got all my tests and papers back. Got an A on my Norse test and an A on my Hunt paper, but I got a C on my historical document analysis. I dunno why I m doing so poorly lately, needless to say I m quite upset with myself and my poor performance. Took two tests on friday so we will see how those turned out, hopefully well, I need to start doing a lot better.Friday night we did the Brad Coloumbe video scavenger hunt challenge we won 1430 to 730. Some of the challenges I did were having a broomstick broken on my back, attempting to have a beer bottle broken over my head,, get clotheslined, get slapped, get punched in the throat, get pushed in a shopping cart into a snowbank, and sweet talking people into doing things for us, I m sure there are some other things I forget to mention but I m still sort of recovering. Yesterday went and saw V for Vendetta, if you get a chance go see it, its a great movie. This time of year 2 years ago something very signifcant happened, le sigh. So many times I long for the past and realize how happy I was back then, I miss being happy. I ve started noticing alot lately that I can be really depressing to be around, for that I am very sorry I do appreicate my friends toleration of that. Anywayz I ll shut up before I devulge anything important or too emotional. Remember everyone the gorilla loves all of ya and you can always count on him for anything you need. Peace and much love everyone.

Home...

2006-03-09T00:43:00.001-06:00

Hey gorilla groupies, once again it is I the Vanilla Gorilla. Well these last several weeks have been sort of interesting(an obvious lie but keep reading anywayz). The week before we left for break I got my norse saga paper back... a C+...ouch. That certainly hurt my feelings, I m not used to getting grades that low..., it's a definite shot to my ego, especially since grades are a major part of how I define myself. It also doesnt help in the crusade for maxing out my gpa before graduating as it stands if I get A's the rest of the way I ll end up with a 3.89, so even if I end perfectly my gpa still wouldnt be that good sigh. Also, on thursday before we left took a midterm in norse and turned in 2papers on friday for Bill and Jennifer's classes, so we will see how all that turns out upon my return to Morris. I need good grades on all of them, so I am quite worries. Home has been quite boring, I have sat around the last few days watching crappy tv and staying up late thinking. Went over to Nick's tonight becuase he needed my superior wow skills(another lie), actually he just needed someone who knew how to run a char through a major late game instance, i'll be doing a few more with him before I come back, its fun to see the late game content in wow, since I wont be able to start playing til summer starts. Also, on Friday we aregonna go to Fargo that should be a good way to kill a day. I prolly should do some of the readings Ihave got behind on, yet I have no motivation to do so but I really should since I have 2 midterms on friday when we get back. I m really really really tempted to get a haircut right now, my hair has never been this long and I really dislike it, I have a strong feeling Ill get it cut before I go back. Right now my biggest wish is that I could genuinely say life was getting better or was progressing in the right direction. Some day it will be my turn, I hope. And someday I will be whole and happy again. Anywayz enough of that, take it easy all and remember the gorilla loves ya. Peace and much love.
-Jake

It's that time of year......

2006-02-26T23:13:00.000-06:00

hey gorilla groupies. Thank you to those of you who answered the johari and nohari things I posted on my blog last time. On Thursday I was coerced by some friends to go to quarter taps at the bar, if you get the chace do that pass on it. It was very much what I expected and I really didn't enjoy it that much. Everyone I knew came up and said hi to me but all of them were shocked to see me there, not suprising I m sure I stuck out like a sore thumb for those of you who know me well. Something I ve noticed a lot lately is how much people drink after they have been left by a bf/gf. Not that this really suprises me because it's a really difficult thing to deal with and alcohol is a way of avoiding it if only for a short while. I didnt go that route but there were alot of times I was close. It's funny how certain things are never far from the forefront of your mind and you find yourself thinking about them even when you dont mean to or want to for that matter. Maybe it's just that time of year or maybe its just me being dumb or some unknown reason. I wish life could be simple again and revert to the one time I was really happy. sigh unfortunately I have prolly done something or things that warrant me being unhappy. I have been thinking alot lately about leaving Morris next year, I know I said the same thing last year but I m more serious about it this time, its something that will need alot more consideration but it is an option I m considering. Oh well, I ll stop talking about stuff no one is interested in anywayz. Remember everyone the Gorilla love everyone of ya. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Because Mack and Jon did it.....

2006-02-22T14:16:00.000-06:00

Johari
Nohari

Someday I will be normal again....maybe.......

2006-02-20T02:31:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. First of all, thank you to JMJ for answering my survey about my blog, the rest of you are either too busy or apathetic. So whats new? Well Pat and I got our presentation grade in Norse, we got a B. Howerver I am rather bitter about it considering the fact that we gave a really good presentation and what she docked us for is rather silly in my opinion. Valentine's day came and went, I dont really like
Valentines day and its not because I have spent most of them single. I dislike Valentine's day because I think it is silly to pick a specific day to show people youlove them. If you really love someone you should show them everyday that you love them instead picking one day to remember and show them. Treasure those who you love because love is the greatest gift of all and I m sad to say that it isnt always returned and doesnt always last. Thats my mini rant about v day. Took another history test on Friday, unsure about how I did on it, but I got an a on my presentation that Tony and I did in that class. Still lifting and swimming, working down towards 205 unsure if I ll ever get there but trying, 205 might bea little small for my frame but its a nice goal. I think thats all news concerning recent events. Recent thoughts are a little more difficult, this part of the year isnt easy and its further complicated buy certain things that are happening. Sometimes I wish that I could go back to simpler times. I miss alot of things and people who used to be in my life and I wish I could have them back. That prolly sounds really lame, but its true. Sigh, but then again life sucks like that. I dunno sometimes I just wanna lose it unfortunately I cant do that. Oh well.. I'll shut up now before it gets too personal.Oh, for you music fans out there check out these two bands: Panic! At the Disco and The Click Five. Panic! At the Disco sounds alot like fall out boy but I like them a lot more, in myopinion their best song is Lying is the most fun a girl can have without takingoff her clothes, for some reason that song seems to kinda hit home with me. The click five is a more pop sounding band but still good, their best song is Angel to you, Devil to me, this song reminds me a lot of someone I used to know. It's a really good song. Also we have a new music idea, we are ditching call on me by eric prydz instead we are doing tutti frutti summer love by gunter and the sunshine girls, you can see his version bygoing to http://gunthernet.com/ now our video will include pat evan and brad in thongs, dan getting pelted by fruit, alex in a hawaiian shirt, and probably yours truly wearing a mullet and a crappy moustache trying to look like euro trash along with lots of other goofiness, when we make it later this spring I will be sure to link it so tyou can all watch it. Anywayz thats all I got for now, remember all the gorilla love you all. Peace and much love.
-Jake

Survey Time.....

2006-02-13T01:48:00.000-06:00

A big hello goes out to all the member's of the legend's legion out there. Well I figured since my blog has been around a little over a year now I would ask you folks a few questions about it and such, so if your a loyal reader and ya got a few minutes fill it out.

1. My favorite title of this blog has been...
A. Thoughts of a Lonely Man
B. The Dark Side
C. Man or Myth
D. Insert your own suggestion here if you answer D

2.My favorite Nickname for this Blog's write is...
A. The Vanilla Gorilla
B. The Legend
C. The Niner
D. Jake
E. insert your own answer here if you answer e

3. I think this blog is...
a. well-rounded, balanced, with something for everyone
b. too intellectual
c. not intellectual enough
d. not informative enough
e. too fluffy
f. too personal
g. not personal enough
h. too militant
i. not militant enough
j. stupid and pointless
k. other (please specify)

4. How satisfied are you with how often this blog is updated?
a. very satisfied
b. somewhat satisfied
c. not satisfied
d. apathetic
e. no response

5. Please state your name and a description of why you read this blog.

Thank you in advance to everyone who fills this out. I hope this finds you all well and remember guys and gals the Legends loves ya. Peace and much love.

-Jake" The Legend" Anderson

P.S. Credit for answers to some survey questions goes out to Jon, I borrowed some of them from him.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

2006-02-09T00:10:00.000-06:00

Hey legend lovers. I dont know why I keep calling all you people out there my gorilla groupies or legend lovers maybe it's cause it makes me feel like there are a group of people out there interested in what is happening to me and reading what I have to say, even if there isnt I can at least pretend. Anyways just thought I would throw out some new things that are going on, Monday we got our tests back in Medieval Europe, I got a 97 I am fairly satisfied with that but I made a stupid mistake so there is plenty of room for improvement. Tuesday Pat and I did our presentation for Norse Saga and it went over really well, we got lots of laughs and even some appluase at the end, no other group has gotten any applause yet. Working out is going ok, I ve lost 4 lbs so far not great but not bad, and its nice to feel muscles again my ultimate goal is to get down to 205 but that is a little far fetched but i would be happy at 220-225. Theres alot running through my head these days, sometimes its hard to sort things out and such. There are so many things in my life i am unsure about, and those things used to be the things I was most sure about. Oh well, thats getting a little personal so I'll cut it off there. I m a very private person, sometimes I think maybe too private but then again thats better then the alternative of constantly spilling my guts to anyone who will listen. Anywayz heres some lyrics that I think are approproate.

"Some Day"

Someday, when I'm older
And they never know my name
Somehow, if I'm honest
I can never feel ashamed
Maybe I was wrong to
Hold you up so high
Now I know I've lost you
To the feelings I kept inside

I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time

Someday, when it's over
And you never show your face
I hope you'll remember
How I tried to make you a place
And so now, I move on
To keep my piece of mind
In someway, I've failed you
But I just ran out of time

I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time

I'm not sure that you hear me
I'm not sure that you look at me the same
I will always be attached to you
But I'm never gonna feel the same

I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time
No, you never took the time

Someday, when I'm older...

"Burning Bright"

I feel like there is no need for conversation
Some questions are better left without a reason
And I would rather reveal myself than my situation
Now and then I consider, my hesitation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning, burning bright

I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I'll express, my situation

[CHORUS (2)]

There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
Such a cruel contradiction
I know I cross the lines its not easy to define
I'm born to indecision
There's always something new some path I'm supposed to choose
With no particular rhyme or reason

Thats all I got for now. Remember Guys and Gals the Legend loves everyone of ya. I hope this finds you all well and happy.Peace and much love.
-Jake "The Legend" Anderson

Chuck Norris needs a Monkey Wrench and a Blow Torch to Masterbate...

2006-02-06T01:13:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. Once again it is I Jake The Legend Anderson, hahah man I wish that were true. Legends are people who do incredible things and make a difference in other peoples lives, me i m just a dellusional guy. Anywayz this week was fairly uneventful pretty much business as usual. I had a test and a presentation in Medieval Europe this last friday, apparently the presentation went well because the prof emailed Tony and me thanking us for going first and doing such an excellent job. We will see how the test turns out when I get it back, I think it went ok but ya never know. I have another presentation coimng up on Tuesday with Pat which I am hoping goes well. The workout coaltiion is still going strong and we are lifting weights, doing cardio, and swimming every weekday, so before ya know it i'll be uber sexy and all you ladies are gonna want a piece of me, (oh my god I m dellusional) but hey its a nice motivation even if it isnt real. Today we had a mini super bowl party in my room, we ate a lot of food and enjoyed the game I was hoping the Seahawks would win, but oh well. Lately my thoughts seem to be drifting a lot and I sometimes have a hard time reigning them in, my brain isnt always feeling cooperative. I dunno what it is, maybe its just what happened this time last year, or maybe its another combination of factors I dunno. Sigh, who knows half the time I dont even know what I m saying or if anything Im talking about makes sense. I guess I m just odd like that. Anywayz I lll shut up and stop rambling and hinting at things I m not going to explain anywayz. Remember guys and girls the Legend loves you and I hope this finds you all well. Peace and Much Love all.
-Jake

A Good Weekend...

2006-01-30T00:50:00.000-06:00

Hey gorilla groupies. So this was actually a pretty good weekend. We went to the cities on Saturday and went to Mall of America and hung out for a few hours. Then we ate at Famous Dave's, which was delicious, I ordered the biggest thing on the menu and did finish it, there was actually a betting pool as to whether or not I would finish it, and by betting pool I mean everyone throwing in their spare change and whatever else was in their pockets. Then we went to Brad's band's show at the Manhattan loft, the only bitch part was getting there, the car full of girls and Brad's other friends are both kind of stupid. Despite that we managed to get there, the band that opened for Brad's was terrible, I mean absolutely awful. I respect anyone and gets on stage and performs cuz god knows it wasnt easy but this was the worst band ever!!! The lead singer looked like he was having seizures while singing, the lyrics were completely impossible to hear and everyone in the band generally sucked. Also the lead singer started insulting the crowd when we started booing him and his shitty band and then we he tried to mosh with a friend in front he tripped himself with the microphone cord. My summarization Chuck Norris says that band fails at life. Brad's band was really good, very very entertaining. His lead singer isnt super awesome, but BRad made the show worth going to, he was fantastic. Then we stayed at Dana's house, had breakfast the next morning and left. Dana's parents were very hospitable. Got back today and did alot of homework, was trying to get done up through tuesday but I fell short, oh well I tried. I dont know why I care so much about things, people, classes, just life in general. Sometimes I think I care to much. Oh well, I guess that's just who I am despite how annoying it is to me sometimes. Anywayz , back to the grind its gonna be a busy week. Hoping eventually I can finish getting alot of things sorted out inmy head, especially since alot of these issues are kinda old, sigh so many memories. This time of the year just isnt easy for me, Kinda hard to be with the last two Januaries I ve had. Anywayz I ll leave and stop talking before I reveal anything too personal aboutmyself. Remember guys and dolls the gorilla loves you, I hope everyone is doing well. Peace and Much Love.
-Jake

P.S. for those interested there are lots of new pics of me on facebook, shakes head, several of my friends were taking lots of them.

Sometimes I Suck at Life....

2006-01-26T21:49:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. I have been thinking a lot lately, well more so then usual. Right now I am struggling with severeal things. The one that is giving me the most problems is how does one lead a truthful,loyal, honorable life in this world that we live in. I am constantly reminded of how hard this is, especially in a world that is dishonest, disloyal, and dishonorable filled with people who are the same way. That or maybe my perceptions of life are wrong and I am trying to lead the wrong kind of life, people who lead the other kind of liestyle seem to do better on the whole then I do. Maybe I mjust frustrated with where my life is. I dunno. Or maybe its the fact that over the last year and a half so many of my perceptions, beliefs, and thoughts all turned out to be lies. I guess its just hard to look back on things you thought were true and finding out you were wrong. Especially perceptions of yourself or your own abilities, no one ever tells you that you were better than you thought you were or your perceptions were pretty close, instead its how wrong and terrible you were. At least thats my situation and has been for awhile. Sorry if this post is kinda down but I m not in a great mood and I m quite frustrated. The other option is that I simply suck as a person and at life in general, this too is a very possible solution. My advice to people is dont ask questions you dont really wanna know most of the answers, I cant do this because I crave honesty and truth and answers. But I am definitely beginning to think that ignorance is bliss, you cant be upset about things you dont know. I guess I will just keep trying to lead a good honest and loyal life despite the difficulties that type of life presents, cuz no one ever said the right thing is easy. Oh well I hope all my boys and girls are doing well out there is the big wide world, remember I love ya ll and take care. Peace
-Jake

P.S. Feel free to tell me if in fact I do suck at life or as a person.

And then there are those times that life sucks....

2006-01-24T22:56:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. Sorry its been awhile since my last post but I've had a lot going on. I m back at school now and into the 2nd week of classes, Classes seem ok and I ve got profs I like so it shouldn't be too bad. My schedule is a little weird this semester mwf I have medieval europe from 9 15 -10 20 then Modern political thought from 1-2 05 quite a nice little break, needless to say I have been using it as naptime. Then on TTH I have norse saga from 8- 9 40 and con law from 12 -1 40, again the space between classes is used as naptime. Those of you who know me really well know me taking an 8 am is especially odd but I wanted to so oh well. The most recent news is that I broke up with Susy. I have to admit I feel really awful about it, but I thought that it was best for a lot of reasons. Still I hate hurting people I care about who are close to me and I feel like a complete ass for doing it, but I think it was the right decision. I did the best I could to make it gentle and nice but thats hard to do in a break up. I hope I stop feeling so horrible eventually, but maybe I kinda deserve it. I guess January just isnt a good month for me and relationships. Its always kinda hard todeal with those memories and what happened, sigh. I think most of your guys know what I m referring to. In other news Pat, Brad, and I haveformed a workout coalition in an attempt to get back in shape, honestly we could all use it I just hope we make it a long term habit so we do get back into shape. Also, this weekend we will be going to the twin cities to see brad's band play so that should be a good time, maybeit will help take my mind off of things if only for a short while. Anywayz thats all I got for now, I love all you guys and girls and I hope this finds you well.

-Jake

I'm Bored.....

2006-01-10T00:59:00.000-06:00

Hey gorlla groupies. Ya know it's weird I complain about not having time to post but when I have almost a month of x mas break I only post like 2 or 3 times. I think it's because I dont really have anything interesting to talk about, not that it ever stopped me from posting before. Well lets see whats new... first and foremost I got my car stereo squared away and its working perfectly again so I finally have music in my car again extremely loud music:) I have been playing alot of world of warcraft lately like 2-4 hours a night, I'd play more but I cant handle that much dial up and I need to limit myself cuz when I go back to school I wont have as much time for it, but right now I m at lvl 46 and I can still lvl up at a pretty decent rate. Other than that I havent been doing much of anything, I really am ready to go back to school and see all my friends again. I spend a lot of time sitting around at night thinking and listening to music and trying to figure things out. I always seem to have a lot on my mind, I dont know why that is, just the way I am I guess. Anywayz peace and love to all my groupies and I m looking forward to seeing everyone again.

2005 a year I will never forget(warning long and personal)...

2005-12-31T15:09:00.000-06:00

Hey groupies,this post is more for me to say somethings I feel like I need and want to say then anything else so its gonna be prettylong and personal. 2005 started out great I was engaged to the perfect girl and we were gonna get married in June I had the world by the balls and all my dreams were coming true. For the first time in my life I was truely happy and confident. However,then it happened she left. I knew we had our problems but what couple doesnt I always thought she knew she meant the world to me and I would do anything for her,apparently that wasnt enough. What shocked me the most was how cruel and cold she was about the whole thing, it was like she didnt even care like it didnt even matter to her. I guess I thought I deserved alot better than that. When that happened I really went off the deep end, it takes a lot to do that to me but this one sent me well past my breaking point. This made me do and say many things I regret and I wish I could apologize for but not many people could have possibly understood what I was going through. I spent the rest of Spring semester in a very very deep depression most nights I would go back to the room after class which I was skipping all the time and sit there with all the lights off and think and mope and cry. Finally one day Jon made me come to eat with him and the rest of the guys from the floor and bropught me into the group to play dota and halo and such, I owe him a debt I can never repay because he brought me out of the darkness and gave me partof my life back. He helped give me friends and a social life and a distraction from the pain. I still thought about it all the time but now I had a distraction and peopleto hangout with. The semester ended and my grades were way down, at least for me, and I limped home to try to fix myself. I spent most of the summer depressed just sittinga round thinking,out of anyone my dad was there for me the most after it happened several of my friends were too, but some people also turned their back on me when it happened, thats their choice and Irspect their right to make it. However, I eventually forced myself to realize that it wasn't me who left and I did everything I could to get her back and there was nothing else I could have done. I realize we both had faults and both made a lot of mistakes and I acknowledge my part in that, but I thought unending love honesty respect and loyalty wa senough to get through any of that. Like alot ofthings I didnt get over it but I learned to deal with it, like an injury that never heals it will always be there you just learn to function anyhow. I took the most devastating event that ever happened to me and I lived through it, I have learned from the mistakes I made and grown more mature and stronger and wiser than ever, but as I have explained these all came at a great cost one I wouldnt have paid willing. Oh well, I took these new found qualities and wentback to school hoping to get back on track and I worked hard and life has kind of returned to normal. I have continues to strengthen old bonds and made many new ones as well. I am very lucky to have such very good friends who care about me. I love all you guys and your one of the big reasons I came back to Morris, you guys abnd girls make Morris tolerable. I got my grades back to what they should be and I even managed to get myself another gf( hey i didnt think it was possible either) shes really cool, she always wants me around,and she makes me pretty happy, I dont know where it will go but I try not to think about that right now. One thing I learned in 2005 is that Icare immensely about things, about people things I do and things Iwant. I put everything into these things and thats what allows tobe hurt sometimes but if ya dont put everything into something itsnot worth doing. I dont know what 2006 will bring but I will face it head on and I will alwayskeep fighting andstruggling to survive and succeed I made 2 people that promise and I shall keep it. To close I just have a few more things to say and advice to give. One bit of advice I have is give them 10 minutes, this aphrase my dad uses alot butI think it's, if ya love someone give them 10 minutes to explain something or explain their point of view no matter how upset sad or angry you are give them 10 minutes and tryto talk itout. Now for some sappy stuff, to all you guys and girls out there I loveyou guys tremendously andyou can count on me for anything you ever need cuz I always be there for you guys, I hope you all have a great new year and are happy and safe. Peace and Love.
-Jake

A Quick Recap....

2005-12-29T02:41:00.000-06:00

What's up groupies, it is I the one and only the v to the g the vanilla gorilla himself. Sorry I havent posted in awhile but the last two weeks were kinda busy, well most of it. First off, I had several papers to write revise and present, then I had finals week then I had tomove some stuff home. Finals week kinda sucked hardcore I had 4 finals this semester, welcome to my hell, the worst part was that my worst 2 finals were on friday, all I will say is that on those two finals I wrote a total of 30 pages and still didnt feel like I had fully answered all the questions ask. Even worse was the fact that I was really sick during finals week and it didnt go away til about a day ago. Oh well I managed to make it through and finished as best I could. I was also really upset by our school calendar, we start early and go late, we are on the same schedule as most community colleges in minnesota, how sad is that? We are a good university and should be on a real university's calendar. Anywayz I am satisfied with my performance this semester I was lucky and got 4 A's, now i just have to do that for 3 more semesters I can graduate with a 3.88 GPA now I know thats not that impressive but that would be semi liveable. Home has been okay I have got to hang out with Josh a few times in the last week that was really cool it was great to see him again, we had a lot of catching up to do.It's unfortunate he can only come back once every 6 months, I mean the guy is one of my best friends and seeinghim twice a year isnt really enough. Apparently a few other people I knew from high school wanna see me while I 'm home too, however I m not entirely sure how I feel about that and I am unsure whether I wanna see or hangout with any of them. Home so far has been really boring I spend alot of time watching tv and playing wow at nights, for those of you who are interested I'm lvl 41 now and I have my mount, it's pimp.Otherwise home is incredibely boring and I have nothing to do, except sit and chat with my dad occasionally. Dad said something really nice the other night to me, he said jake your a giant,to which I responded I'm not that big, he said I didnt mean your size I meant your heart. I thought that was really nice. Other than that I have no news or bits of interest so I'll call it a night. Remember the gorilla loves all his readers and wishes them love and peace into the new year. I love all you guys and girls and I miss all of ya.Peace and Love.

-Jake

The Final Approach....

2005-12-13T03:25:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. Well as you can tell by the title finals week shall soon be upon me. This semester I have 4 finals but I m pretty sure I already have my grade locked up in 2 classes by I need a strong finish in the other two to get the grades I want. From here on in B's, B+'s, and A-'s just dont cut it anymore. Anywayz, not much else is new here. Saw the Chronicles of Narnia recently, was awesome definitely go see it if you have the chance. Went to Jen's post lsat party that was really nice, she was a great host and a good time was had by all. Thursday we are gonna go see the new Harry Potter movie so that should be cool. After finals next week I just plan on going home and relaxing maybe see a friend or two at home. I have several friends urging to come to the cities for a visit over x mas break, which I am strongly considering we shall see though, I really dont want to be an imposition upon anyone or their family. These days my mind is such a jumble of stuff its hard to think straight sometimes and even harder to fully maintain control. Sometimes I wish I could just forget things or not care. Unfortunately there are things I can never forget and I care about things immensely. I dunno, sometimes I just wanna lose control if only for a couple of minutes, but I cant.... Oh well thats the way life is I guess. Sorry if this post seems rather down my mood is much sadder and more depressing around the holidays(for reason read previous post)but I dont wanna drag you all down with me so I'll shut up and go to sleep and keep my thoughts and such to myself. I hope you all do well on your finals, happy holidays, drive safe wherever your going and remember the Gorilla loves you all, each and everyone of you.
Peace and much love.
-Jake

I may or may not be the cream of wheat man....

2005-12-06T02:29:00.000-06:00

Hey gorilla groupies. That's right folks reports can neither confirm nor deny whether or not I am the cream of wheat mean or one of his direct descendants, ok enough of that. Sorry my posting has become so sporadic lately, Ihave just gotten very busy. Got my history test back, I got a 97, I kick myself for getting those 3 wrong but a 97 is acceptable and will have to do, still improvement is needed. I got a B on my first draft of my paper for Thorson, despite me knowing it was going to be bad that grade is unacceptable and I will be doing a lot of revising and rewriting before friday, just not now. I also have toread a book and do a book review for Bill on Thursday, Hence why I am blogging. I really need to pull a straight A semester to kick my gpa over 3.8 again and get back on track to achieving a tolerable gpa, right now it is simply unacceptable. Not much else is new here,pretty much life as usual, I try to sneak in some wow and dota when I can but its becoming more difficult these days, Especially with finals coming up. The semester went by pretty fast. I m also not a big fan of the holiays I havent had good luck with the holiday season for the last 7 years, something really bad seems to happen every year and I really dont expect this year to be any different. I also have to make some big decisions regarding my life coming up fairly soon, some people are aware of some they are not. If and when the time is appropriate then I will share if not I won't, but I will say some the stuff is fairly major. Don't worry it's nothing bad my parents arent dying and i'm not getting married or anything(that didnt work out so well for me the first time=(, actually it kinda left me in a wreck, anywayz enough about that I will just say some of the things am I considering are pretty big. Other than that nothing new or exciting to report, I ll try to blog again soon with more interesting and informative things to say,til then much love goes out to all my readers and friends out there, the gorilla loves ya.

Happy Thanksgiving...

2005-11-26T03:36:00.000-06:00

Hey Gorilla Groupies, I realize today is not Thanksgiving but since I wasnt able to blog on turkey day I thought I would say it now. So much to talk about since last time I blogged, where to start ok here goes. We lost the football game to Spooner 19-7,however at the end of the game we were really playing well and had our stuff together and of course spooner wanted toquit causing the 2ndhalf tobe much shorter then the first, also we were screwed out of an interception in the firsthalf that would have made a big difference, complaints aside we played really well and I was very proud of everyone. I scored the one touchdown we had, so that was cool. However on the 8th play of the game,on a really bad throw I popped my shoulder out of socket, since I didnt have an easyway to get it back in right away I had to wait til after the game to pop back in, but I played anywayz no way that was gonna keep me from playing. More recently I left a big paper to do til the last minute and ended up workingonit three days before it was due, definitely not my best paper ever but we will see how it turns out.Took another midterm on Monday in my history class so I am anxiously waiting the results from that as well. The other night Pat and I had a mock UFC match in the hallway it wasnt really going anywhere and we pretty much fought to a draw then pat ran into a wall when i ducked one of his attempts to grab me,it looked like it hurt quite a lot.I felt bad, but it turned out he was ok ,just sightly dazed for a minute. Thanksgiving was nice, it was good to see my family and spend a little time with them. NowImust admit this year I am not thankful for much, because frankly this year hasnt given me anything to bet hankful for. However I am thnakful for one thing, I get to spend every day of the year with my family. Cuz even though only 5 months of it is with my biological family, I get to spend the rest with most of the people that read this and you guys are family and I love ya. Thats the one thing I am thankful for. Still have a lot onmy mind, this time oif the year always makes it worse but I will muddle through it, just hard sometimes very hard. The big push lately is for me to join facebook, not sure where I stand on the issue, more than a few ppl want me to join but we shall see, maybe in the future. Anywayz I love you guys and I hope this finds you all well, take care, have fun and remember most things are better when u add the Vanilla Gorilla.

p.s. you people should leave a comment now and then

About 3.50.....

2005-11-09T00:14:00.000-06:00

Hey Gorilla Groupies. I finally got my last mid term back, the result a 95... sometimes it is better to be lucky than good. Also on a high note I got a 95 on my disputationes in the same class. I am quite relieved I got two satisfactory grades on these two things since they are both big chunks of my grade in that class... but like I said its prolly just luck. I am some what relieved now that I got all midterms back and they were all satisfactory, however now that those are done the papers will start and I have 2 big ones before the end of the year, a 12 to 20 for Thorson and a 6 page book review and analysis for Bill, oh well I will just hope for a positive outcome on these two papers. Work on the music video will also begin shortly and that is sure to be hillarious when we finish I will try and post the video or a link to it, I promise it should be worth watching cuz everything is better when you add the vanilla gorilla(lol omg yeah right). I must admit I find my mind wandering alot lately thinking about the past, the future, etc. I wont go in to detials but it occupies alot of my thoughts these days. I am going home on friday to change my oil and visit my parents, it will be nice to see them I know they wish I would come home more often. I know they worry about me alot so I hope to try to relieve some of that by visiting, talking,and projecting the image that I'm okay, I think they worry because for a long time I wasnt ok and they had to but I dont want them to worry about me or anyone close to me for that matter, whether I am okay or not is irrelevant I just dont want the people I care about to waste their time thinking and worrying about me. The truth is things would be pretty much the same if I had left town and life would have continued on as normal because everyone who reads this is a strong, wonderful,intelligent, emotionally stable person who really is fine on their own for the most part.Sorry folks that might have been me getting a little personal there but hey its my blog and I think I'm entitled to it every now and then. Anywayz I hope all my groupies are doing well and remember the gorilla loves you guys and gals.

Disceeodo

2005-11-05T01:40:00.000-06:00

To all my freaks out there the Gorilla's in house so holla. I know I am the whitest guy ever but I'm ok with that. Not much is new since the last time I posted. My midterms have come and gone and the result was fairly good, the 3 I have gotten back so far have all been A's, I am still waiting on the fourth one. I am fairly disappointed that two of them were kinda low A's but an A is an A I guess, I guess thats just the perfectionist in me shining through. I am fairly frustrated with life these days, some times I just wanna lose it and get away from it all and just quit, but I know I have to stick it out because I m kinda stuck in the current situation. My major frustration is that I try to hold myself to very high standards of success and maintain a strong system of values, however most of the rest of the world doesnt. Maybe my cherished ideals of honor, fairness, and honesty are outdated, but I still believe in them no matter how difficult it is. There are a lot of other things I wish I could talk about but I cant so I'll just say that I have alot of things on my mind. Halloween was ok, I went as a pimp and later as a pimp bandito. I didnt put much effort in to the costume but we went to rocky horror as a group of banditos each with his own theme. The football game against spooner will finally happen this upcoming weekend, no matter who either side has present, yours truly is still quarterbacking so wish us luck. I registered for classes next semester and I am taking Con Law(with Thorson of course), modern political thought(with Bill Hunt), Medieval Europe(with Jennifer Deane), and Norse Saga(with Janet Erickson) so it should be an okay semester. Also did my disputatio today and that didnt go nearly as well as I hoped,I was ready to be challenege and put to the test instead I just came out and dominated the entire thing leaving no one unsure of who won, but it was entirely to easy, oh well I guess. Personally I think victory is more satisfying when you have to earn it against quality opponents not the ones from the bottom of the barrell. Other than that I dont have much to say. I would like to leave you all with a piece of advice that helps to get me by, as long as you can look at youself in the mirror and say this is honestly who I am and I m ok with what I m doing than nothing else matters, you do that and listen to your heart and the rest is easy. Anywayz thats all I got, as usual comments are welcome and the gorilla sends his love out to all his readers.

P.S. Bonus points if you can name the movie my title is from and the character who said it.

Another Year....

2005-10-22T02:53:00.000-05:00

Hey Gorilla Groupies. Today is our big rematch against spooner since they destroyed us at ultimate frisbee,however today will be flag football, we wanted to play tackle but they are pretty boys and pussed out. It should be a good game and I think we have an excellent shot at winning, especially with yours truly quarterbacking haha jk. Anywayz come out and support us if you can or just root for us if you cant be there Oh yeah today is also Chris' b day so make sure you wish him a happy b day. Happy b day Chris. Oh I guess it's also my b day too, no biggy. Anywayz I would really like it if everyone would leave a comment and tell me who you are and why you read. That's all I got for right now I ll try to post again soon much love goes out to all my gorilla groupies across the world.

Sometimes Fate Smiles Upon Us....

2005-10-15T01:47:00.000-05:00

Hello Gorilla Groupies. I really wish I had more time to post on here but most of you who read this maintain regular contact with me anywayz so its not a big deal. However since it has been awhile and I do have some news I thought I would blog. First and probably most astonishing is that I now have a girlfriend. For those of you who are having a heart attack or loss of breath take a moment to gather yourself then continue reading. I know you are all as shocked and amazed as am I. Her name is Susy and we have been going out for just over a week she is a very beautiful girl with an equally wonderful personality. I know many of you are asking how did Jake manage to get a girlfriend now or ever? The answer is.... I dont know... sometimes its just better to be lucky than good, but I am very grateful that we got together. In other news classes are going well, I seriously dislike the amount of reading I do but I deal with it, I will have all my midterms in the 2 weeks following fall break so that kinda sucks. I chose to stay in Morris for fall break, really not much else to do, Josh is in Washington, Winky is in Florida(do wookies swim and tan?), and everyone else is home, but since there is nothing to do at my house so I am staying here. I know I know I am very boring, oh well. Tommorow Brad and I are going to St.Cloud which should be a good time, Dana was gonna come but her job prevents her from doing so, damn orl and ra duties. Ummmm what else... I renewed my license today. Otherwise not much new or exciting in my jungle just the same old boring Jake. Everyone be sure to wish hippy Chris a happy b day this upcoming saturday and Jon a happy b day if you didnt on friday( his b day was on friday). Anywayz much love goes out to all my loyal readers.

Welcome to October...

2005-10-03T01:40:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. Once again I aplogize for the lack of posting these days, but it always seems like I have so much to do like right now I should be finishing up homework but I am simply not in the mood for that right now. I will try to blog more frequently but I cant guarantee that will be possible. Not a whole lot is new right now. I still read for a couple hours a day, I still hang out with my friends alot, and I m still the same old boring me. Right now I have a lot of doubts about a lot of things past present and future. For example, law school has been on my mind a lot lately prolly because I have a friend taking the test, and even though this person is very intelligent the lsat worries them too, I have this list of people telling me I can get into places like Harvard, Yale, and Stanford.I simply dont know, I m not very confident in that assertion, these are the 3 best law schools in the country where the best of the best go and I simply dont know if I belong in that category and I dont know if I will be able to earn my way into it, of course I m going to try but I simply dont know. I dont know if I could classify myself in the best of anything. I dont know I guess I really dont feel like I'm succeeding at much of anything these days or for quite a long time. Maybe its just my personality,my attitude,or something else. Maybe people would like it better if I acted differently,the short answer is I cant I would like to think and I really do believe I am pretty much the same guy I was when you all met me two years ago. Like I said right now I have a lot of doubts about a lot of things a lot of which I cant talk about here.I just hope things become clearer and the answers whatever they may be become apparent. Sorry folks if this post was kind of a downer but its late and I m not exactly feeling great right now, but regardless I apologize. I ll try to blog again soon with something a little more upbeat and exciting. Until then much love goes out to all my readers and gorilla groupies, this ape knows who you are and wont forget your support.

Even a journeyof ten thousand miles begins with a single step...

2005-09-22T02:04:00.000-05:00

hey vanilla gorilla fans. Once again I apologize that myposting these days is so sporadic but between hanging with friends, homework, my job, and dota I keep pretty busy. I have actually cut back significantly on the dota playing, it doesnt amuse me as much as it used to and finding good balancd teams is becoming more difficult these days.Plus I usually have other things to do. I do so much reading these days its disgusting I just got done reading 80 pages of Plato and writing a positions card for it. It is so dry and boring and so many of the concepts are discussed way to long. Anywayz enough of that. I am working out again for those of you who dont know, it will take awhile for me to get fully back into the habit but me and other Jake are working out together, well I should say he lets me tag along. Another positive note is that several people have told me I have slimmed down quite a bit, I reached my max weight last year at 252 and then got down to 217 in the three months following Meghan dumping me, then this summer i got back up to 225 and thats what I weighed before I left and I know I have lost weight since I been back in Motown since I only eat once a aday most days. Also I have managed to cut alot of soda and sugar out of my diet so thats prolly helping too. Who knows before long I might look fairly attractive again(lol yeah right) but A guy can hope right? I have to admit that life isnt bad these days I finally feel like I m almost back to normal at least as normal as life can be for me. But I feel fairly good for the most part. The one thing that kind of does bother me is that people really seem to be trying to get me to lose my temper and or react to stuff this year. I can tell you that this wont happen, the last time I lost my temper I really didnt like who I was because thats not the guy who I am and thats not me and it cost me something important. I promised myself I would never do that again because I refuse to hurt myself or anyone else. I guess I m just not an agressive person really. I mean sometimes I think people wish I was more of an agressive guy and might like me better if I was but thats just really not me. Sorry.Oh well I am who I am and I accept that and I hope thats who you guys and girls want as a friend. A saying I like to tell people is that if you can look in the mirror each night and be happy with where you are, what your doing and who you are then the rest is just details and I really do believe in that. Other than that I dont have to much to say. I will say I have my eye on someone right now and I think she has her eye on me as well but we shall see. Other than that take care gorilla groupies and I love all of ya, and remember this gorilla has a big banana;)lol cmon I had to say it.

A New Post to Read....

2005-09-13T02:43:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. Sorry my blogging has been pretty sporadic these days but I find myself being busier than I thought I would be. I spend alot of time reading everyday on average at least 2 hours usually more in the neighborhood of 3 or 4. However being a poli sci major with a history minor it kinda goes with the territory. I just wish I could read faster. Took a history quiz on friday and I am really pissed at myself for getting one of the answers wrong, it was one of those things where after I handed it in I realized I had made a mistake and knew the right answer but since I was going on 5hours of sleep and reading throught it too fast I marked the wrong one, oh well my bad shit happens sometimes. Other than homework I am usually just hanging out with people or playing Dota, I have been demoted to 3rd best Dota player but hopefully I will get 2nd back one of these days. We have now started to keep track of our dota statistics and anyone interested should go to http://pinerootschannel.blogspot.com the posted scores are next to the members zoo crew name so here is a chance to check on your favorite zoo crewers Dota standings. Yes I realize I am a huge geek for doing this but, oh well we have fun with it and thats what matters.This will also give you a chance to review peoples zoo crew names.Other than that just hanging out with my friends alot. Although I must admit that my attention is also being drawn in another direction, if you catch my meaning. However I wont say too much about that, I have to keep you all reading somehow, plus I m just a fairly private person. But possible updates may come in the future in regards to this issue so stay tuned. Maybe the ole vanilla gorilla still has a little game left in him. I will tell you all that the new kick this year is that I'm soft, I know that sounds odd but I am extremely soft to the touch and quite comfortbale to lay on and this seems to be a frequent topic of discussion this year and often involves many members of the zoo crew touching me which is very very weird. They also nicknamed me snuggles which I m not particuarly fond of but its not the worst nickname in the world. Yes I am fully aware that we are a bunch of weirdos but very lovable and harmless ones.We hvae also decided that I am the least evil of the group.I am somewhat disappointed that I am next to last on this list. I guess I m just a nice guy who is relatively sane, for the most part. Oh well thats about all I have to say for now. Much love goes out to all my loyal blog readers and friends.

An Apology

2005-09-07T01:13:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. I know I posted a few days ago but I feel like posting again. I really dislike the amount of reading I am having do right now its pretty much 80 or more pages of reading every night. I can do it I just hate having to dedicate that much time to reading every night, but at least I don't have much homework that goes with it. I wish I wasn't such a freak and didn't feel like I needed to do all the assigned readings, but unfortunately I am and I do. Right now I feel kinda bad cuz I was kind of a fuck to my boys tonight while we were being dota, I m sorry about that guys my behavior towards you was unacceptable and I humbly apologize for being a fuckstick, I m especially sorry to Chris. Right now I have a lot of conflict going on and I think some of that accidentally seeped out and was misplaced towards some people who didn't deserve it, by no means does this excuse or condone my behavior but I hope it somehow helps to explain it ,at least a little. Tonight I went for a drive to try and clear my head, I Just got on 59 and headed south for about 20 minutes and then turned around and came back. It really didn't help in clearing my head at all. There are so many things I wish I could say and things I would like to explain, but I cant... Which unfortunately necessitates me keeping them to myself. After all discretion is the better part of valor. Also it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt. I know those both sound cliche but they are quite true when you think about it. Ya know sometimes I find myself thinking that I am a terrible guy in a lot of ways. As Jon is fond of saying I am a sensitive boy, and although I don't like to admit it a lot of the time I am, I cant help wearing my heart of my sleeve. I don't drink. I have no interest in strip clubs or sleeping with a bunch of different girls. What kind of man does that make me in a lot of ways. I m sorry if this post sounds like my own personal pity party but it is after all my blog and I have every right to do it every now and then. One final sentiment for the night much love to all those out there who I have lost in my lifetime.My heart goes out to all of you regardless of whether or not you read this. A lot of you have been my dearest friends and know more about me than most should. Regardless of how we parted ways I just wanted to say I love you all and some of you love cant even describe what I felt for you. Sorry just thought I needed to say that. Much love goes out to everyone else who reads this.

Patties, People, Prydz

2005-09-06T01:24:00.000-05:00

hey everyone. The trip to St. Cloud was fun. I didnt end up ordering the pound and 2/3 burger, but nobody else did either. I ended up ordering a pound and 1/3 burger, so I am slightly less of a glutton but I also split an order of 18 wings with Alex and Chris, had I not had the wings maybe I would have tried the pound and 2/3burger but I simply dont know if I could bite through 5 patties let alone finish the whole thing. I guess I have no reason to wonder why I m such a big fat white guy. After bufallo wild wings we went to barnes and noble and then to best buy then back to Morris. All in all it was a really good time and it was cool hanging out with a bunch of the guys. Some of the freshmen are finally starting to come out of their shells and actually hanging out and talking. Although someone made a good point that Alex, Chris, Pat, Jon, and myself are kind of an intimidating group becuase of how tight we are. I can really appreciate a situation like that because its hard to walk into a situation where your the odd man out and everyone else is super tight, been there. But some of them are finally starting to open up. I would also like to announce some new additions to the zoo crew. Brad is the Chartruse Mongoose, Eric is the heliotrope antelope(yes heliotrope is a color is a purple), Russ is the Pale Quale, Dan is the Maroon Raccoon, and I forgot to mention that Chris is the Taupe Jackelope and Alexis the Blue Bunny. I know I know I am very silly and or stupid but its fun. Also we will be doing a music video which will be a fat white guy production starring the zoo crew to Eric Prydz's song Call on me. It is an awesome song and the video will be hilarious I promise. All I will say is victory dancing and fat white guys. I dont think I have much else to say. I have a lot on my mind right now and a lot going on inside my heart. But hey what else is new? Other than that classes are ok and I dont have anything else to say. Much love to all my loyal blog readers.

School and St.Cloud

2005-09-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

hey everyone. Not much is new in life right now. Classes came and went this week with relatively little excitement. I meet with Thorson this Wednesday to discuss what our paper will be and when I will actually start working on it with him. I look forward to it, it should be very interesting since Thorson is brilliant in my opinion. I hope some day I will be in the same ballpark of intelligence. I dont even know about law school, Thorson seems to think that I can get into places like Yale, Harvard, Stanford, and Harvard but those are for the best of the best and I simply dont know if I am in that category let alone deserve to even be considered to be placed in that category. I guess we will see where I am at next year a 3.78 gpa isnt exactly impressive but I should be able to pull that up and my Lsat score will be a big part of where I end up, but the thought has come to mind recently when briefly talking to Jen, I bet she will get a really good score on the lsats. I ll prolly pick her brain afterwards for some insight. Tommorow we are going to buffalo wild wings in st cloud to see how many of us can eat 1lband 2/3 burger,I think I probably can but we will see. Other than that not much to report. Found out somethings recently that have really made me think about a lot of stuff. One comment that somebody made was that we all need each other,this made me think what would the group dynamic be if I had not returned to Morris. Would it be any different if I had gone anywhere else? I dunno I really cant see it being any diffrent without me than it is with me. I mean I know a few people would miss me but it really wouldnt affect their lives significantly and I know they would all be fine. Oh well thats my self indulgent thought for the post. I hope this post finds you all well and your enjoying being back in motown stop in and say hi if you havent yet.

Good Titles are Hard to come by...

2005-08-30T00:02:00.000-05:00

So the first day of classes came and went. Pretty Standard for a first day I would say. Introduction, handing out the syllabus, explaining the syllabus, and finally dismissing class. Luckily all my profs were very good about dismissing in a timely manner. Everyone is back at the dorm now and it is nice to see them all again. The group is slightly different from last year but once again we have a good group of guys. Jon, Pat, Chris, Me, and Alex is kinda the groupwe have right now, even though Alex is only a freshmen it is scary how good he fits in, it is like he has been here for several year plus hes just a great guy as is everyone in our group, except maybe for me. The freshmen this year are areally quiet but I have managed to meet a few of them and they have a lot of potential. Brad is a funny loud fat guy who fits in well with Pat and I, Quiet Chris, Eric, and other Jake all have a great deal of potential I think, but it takes time to open up and get comfortable with people. Tonight we watched Euro Trip which was hilarious, if you havent seen this movie you definitely should. I really like movies because the main character always manages to come out on top after getting dicked. I guess thats my subtle(or not so subtle) way of saying I have alot on my mind. But I wont go in to details and ramble on forever. Played a few dotas and Chris and Alex are coming along quite well they just need more practice, Jon is his usual dominating self, and Pat is also quite excellent as usual. Other than that I dont have anything that I'm willing to share. I hope everyones first weekof classes go well.

A Place where the Past, Present, and Future Converge..

2005-08-25T00:19:00.000-05:00

hey everyone. Well, what can I say I am back in Morris. I can honestly say that 6 months ago I didnt know if I would ever be returning to Morris, I even tinkered with the idea of dropping out back then, but I gutted it out and survivd the semester. Then this summer came, two months and a lot of thinking I did decide to come back. Part of me is glad to be back and part of me isnt. Needless to say on a lot of levels this is difficult for me, but I am confident I will survive. Moving in today went relatively well, however it went rather slow. I wish they would replace the hardware on the beds sooner than once every 50 years so it wasnt so difficult to disassemble then. Also for what they charge to rent a loft and deliver it, it would be nice if they set it up for you then again we are in Morris and well quite frankly orl sucks ass. We do get hbo now with our cable package and we dont have to pay a separate charge for cable this year. However knowing Morris and orl this is sure to come with some sort or horrible catch for the hbo you have to pay with 10 gallons of goats blood or something like that and for the no cable charge we will be subject to rolling black outs. The set up of our room is quite different then it has been in past years but I think its fairly cool.Tommorow I shall assist in the moving in of freshmen noobs I also hope to acquire a parking permit and my books then i will be ready for school to start on monday. SO... have you ever learned something that made you happy, sad, angry, helped things make sense and raised more questions all at the same time, I wont go into details but its weird for a single thing to do that but its true. I also must say my opinion about several people I know has changed significantly recently some for the better some for the worse. Not that I care to address any of these folks in person because I know most of them wouldnt like what I have to say but my opinion has changed none the less. So basically I will just continue operating my standard way of thinking what I want while not saying what I actually think. Oh well thats all I have for now I am sure I will see you all soon..

I want the truth, you can't handle the truth

2005-08-20T01:57:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. Last night was my last night of work, it was very quiet and slow which made me happy. I got alot of hugs from the girls I work with and handshakes from the guys in addition to alot of we will miss you's. I've gotten used to saying goodbyes frequently, especially the last few years, so it doesnt really bother me anymore to leave something like a job. However I will concede that some good byes are much harder then others and some stay with you for a long time. The most amusing story I have from this week was when I was helping this couple at the front desk and they were both very drunk, so as I was checking them in the woman was staring at me and finally said wow you have really really red hair. Then they both started laughing, needless to say I was less than amused at this. Also, I always kinda thought that my hair was more orange.( Please voice your opinion by answering the survey question at the bottom of this post) Other than that work this week went relatively smooth and uneventful. I will need to stop in sometime soon and collect my 2nd to last paycheck. I will prolly end up doing that on tuesday. The situation with my car stereo has taken some annoying twists and turns but it will soon reach resoultion. The original site I ordered my speakers from is a horrible business and I reccomend no one ever do business with them.10 business days and my speakers are still not here, this is absolutely unacceptable. So severeal days ago I canceled the order and plan on returning the speakers when and if they arrive. Instead I went through Crutchfield and I highly reccomend them for any purchses involving car stereo equipment.Not only are the prices quite fair but I received the order 2 days later. This time I spent more money and ordered higher quality speakers,Infinity Kappa's very good speakers.Monday I will be having the complete system installed in my car and Tuesday I will have it back at which time I will journey to Fargo to do some shopping, pick up my paycheck, and maybe eat some Culvers. I may have to drag Pat to Fargo with me to accomplish what is needed becuase I believe he also arrives on Tuesday, however this can be easily accomplished through the offering of Culvers and Krispy Kremes. Then on Wednesday we go back to school. The day is approaching quickly. Those of you wondering about the name and format changes should refer to previous posts when I said changes were forth coming.
SURVEY QUESTION: What color is Jake's hair?
A.I think it is red.
B.I think it is ORnage.
C. I think it is( Insert yourown color or combinationof colors).
That is all I have for now. Remember there is a reason people are afraid of the dark.

Whose Got a Dime? Someones Gotta Go Back and Get a Shitload of Dimes.....

2005-08-14T04:43:00.000-05:00

hey vanilla gorilla fans. Yes, once again it is extremely early in the morning and I am bored therefore I am blogging. Tonight will be the first day of my last week at work and then on Thursday I'm done for the summer. I really enjoyed my job for themost part, except the karokee and all the money I spent on gas. Although as far as gas is concerned I have been getting off easy compared to what the Rhino is paying in SoDak. But the income from my job will be put to good use(ha!) I ll have my insurance covered til May, a pretty sweet system in my car, my loft(which I will find a way to make pimp,(it damn well better be for what they charge to rent these things) and probably some new clothes, I usually make my clothes last for a long time but I must admit it is time for some new ones. I think you all remember the last pair of shoes I had and telling me every day for like 3 months to replace them. Well a select few of you will at least;) I will have to run to fargo for that so I will probably do that on Monday the 22nd. Then on the 23rd the Rhino is coming out to visit for a day, that should be cool. It will definitely be nice to see one of my best friends again. Who else will shout PENIS with me in a bad Austrian accent or discuss the acquisition and construction of the yak semen cannon. Actually if Jon wins that Alpacca we could make it an Alpacca semen cannon,it would be much cheaper than buying yak semen retail and we could set the freshmen to work acquring it. The only problem is what if the creature is a female alpacca.Anyways enough of my evil plans. Thats the one part of school I am looking forward to again is seeing all of you again. It will be nice to make you all laugh with my stories acquired from the Moorhead Days Inn and Conference Center and my uncanny and unsurpassed ability to suck at life. The rest of my attitude towards school right now really lies in the grey and black areas. Right now I am sure some of you are thinking to yourself hey vanilla gorilla what did youdo with your days off. Good question, I shall tell you. Not much. We have Dish now so I watched alot of tv. The other night I saw Kill Bill vloume 2, it was good, I liked the first one better. Good movie but not something I would pay to rent or buy. Thir morning I watched Troy, good movie but it brought back alot of memories:(,and no I am not saying I was an ancient greek warrior in another life or a modern day gladiator or anything like that the other kind of memories:( Then I went to sleep. SLept til about 8, totalling about 9hours of sleep. First time in along time I have been able to get more than 7, I think its because Ionly got 4 and a half the day before. Today was spent watching cartoon network and comecy central and complaining that my speakers which I ordered last sunday have still not arrived. Anyone buying stereo equipment online do not go through www.acaraudio.com they have horrible shipping. And dont pull a Noe and go through best buy they only carry low end equipment anyway(with the exception of some of the Alpine stuff they carry). Noe I dont know how you racked up 3000 diollars worth of car electronics at best buy with the stuff they have, unless u decided to purchase like 800 sq ft of dynamat or something. Noe your my friend and a really good guy but on this I msut say wtf? Hopefully the speakers arrive this week so I can have them installed along with the other components of the system that I already have on hand. No I am not doing this so I can cruise around the mall with the windows down and the system up, people who do this are losers. That about summarizes my two days off pretty boring eh?Oh well what do you all expect it's me. I dont have much else to say hard to belive I will be back in Morris in 10 days.I look forward to seeing you all again and if Mack lets me do sportsline you should all listen in to the vanilla gorilla conversaing about the wonderful world of sports and distributing his vast knowledge of the subject to everyonel;)Just remember Vanilla Gorilla FTW!!!

Yak Semen Cannon...

2005-08-11T08:42:00.000-05:00

hey gorilla groupies. I am not calling you groupies to offend you and I dont mean the kinda that hang on everything a person says or does and I also dont mean the kind that want to have sex with the person whose groupies they are. In fact if you have any urges to make love to the vanilla gorilla it is likely that you are legally blind or clinically insane. Immediately seek an eye exam from a licensed optometrist and a psychiatric exam from a qualified therapist. If you do not have the time or money just have a friend or relative hit you with a large heavy object in the back of the head then continue reading. I just say gorilla groupies because it sounds cooler than group of people who tolerate jake and have a mild interest in the events transpiring in his life. Honestly which one of those would make a better t shirt. Not that anyone would want to wear or possess either of them but still. Not much is new in my life, you all should know how boring I am by now. Work is going ok I only have 6 days left and tonight is the last night in my 7 day straight working session, then I work Sunday through Thursday and I 'm done. Apparently doing that baggage run the other day was a good idea, my boss told me yesterday morning that I would notice some extra money on my paycheck since i did a little over half, Chris( the guy who did the other half) agreed that it was only fair that I get half. I dont know how much it will be, with my luck it will be like 5 bucks. I do have some more interesting stories from work, actually I have a tonbut I really dont feel like writing about them right now. Everyone keeps asking me if I am excited to go back to school, the answer is not really. I am looking forward to seeing my friends again, but my reaction to the situation is very very mixed. I ll leave it at that. The other thing people keep bring up is the issue of me turning 21. I just want to make a few things clear. Turning 21 really ebars no significance for me,I dont drink now and I dont plan to start just because I turn 21. I have been known on a rare occasion to have one or 2 but I know for a fact that none of you reading this have ever seen me have a drink and I dont plan to change this. Drinking by myself or with others is something that simply does not interest me and never will. I dont like how people talk, act, and think when they drink. Thus, I chose not to put my self in a situation where people will be consuming large amounts of alcohol.I m sorry if this is disappointing to any of you but I am simply not built that way and turning 21 will not change that. I can honestly say there have only been 2 days in my life when I would have gotten drunk. I just wanted to clear this issue uop because it seems to work its way into a lot of converstions if any drinking done this year will be left to pat, jon, chris, etc etc. No knock on you guys, simply not my thing. Anywayz this has been the one and only V to the G and I'm out.

Drink Bitch...

2005-08-07T08:52:00.000-05:00

hey Vanilla Gorilla Fans. So I know I said that the last post would be my ;ast post for awhile, I lied. I m bored and stuff happens to me so here I am. Last night was an interesting night at work, my co worker Jason wasan 1hour and 45 minutes late, sound familiar, so I had to handle all the duties of the front desk and it was uber busy. It was crazy but being the speedy and smart clerk I am I go through it;) I was lucky that no one wanted anything complicated or intricate, also the person who does the weekend lock ups didnt show up, so guess who did that, in addition to my normal duties. Think it ends there? This morning a lady in chargeof a tour company came down to the front desk asking when the tour bus' luggage would be brought out front to be loaded. Jason and I stared blankly at each other for a few seconds. The woman continued that it had to be done with in 10 minutes because they needed to have it packed and ready to go by 710, of course we dont have bellman at our hotel, so this job became mine also. I was running around the hotel with the luggage cart grabbing bags and running them out front. Luckily Chris arrived half way through the job and finished it, chris was supposed to have done the whole thing but showed up late. What can I say, I m the man!! haha jk The other interesting thing about last night is the record for people offering to buyme drinks was broken the previous record was 3. Last night 7 different people offered tobuy me drinks, 4 guys,3 girls. Now this is not uncommon usually when I give a person between 21-30 a really really good deal on a room they usually offer to buy me a drink because they say I seem like a really cool nice guy who helped them out. I think its because I give them agood rate on the room. Then there are the random drunk people from weddings and karokee that offer, and once in awhile sober people offer.But last night was insane and I must say 2 girls that offered were pretty cute and sober! Why did they offer to buy me a drink,I honeslty dont know either, its one of life mysteries. El,the manager of our comedy club offered his opinion,its because your the man and one of the most likable people I have ever met. The Vanilla Gorilla is likable? But I cant drink for several reasons, number 1 I cant drink at work, number 2 I am under age, 3 it would be quite unprofessional.Oh well, 2days down 5more to go in my 7 day straight working marathon lol.My car stereo situation should be taken care of fairly soon also. Forgive the poor spacing in this blog and my conversations becuase I am still not use to this damn key board. As usual feel free to comment on this entry. This has been the one and only the V to the G.

And Thats the Bottom Line...

2005-08-06T08:34:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. I decided to blog because I have something important to say and this may end up being my last post for awhile. I have decided that I must become the man I used to be, but its one that not many of you know. Two readers will know what this means, my sister and Nick, although they read on and off at varying intervals. I'm sorry you guys but I have to do this. The rest of you dont know this guy because it was the person I was before I met any of you. But I am afraid that this is the man I must become once more. I have to replace the loud mouthed, big egoed, goofball or whatever other words or phrases you mmight use to describe me who I feel I am right now. He has failed at every juncture and now must be replaced. I need to get back to the days of being the shy quiet smart kid who kept to himself, whose primary interest(maybe even obsession) was in being the best and in attaining perfection. More importantly this guy never hurt anyone close to him and never lost anything affect any of my frienships with you guys. One thing that will never change about me is that my friends mean the world to me and I will always be there if any of you guys ever need me , please remember that any time any place any where you need significant in his life because he kept the world at arms length. I hope someday I can better explain why this had to be done, I also hope that this doesnt negatively anything all you have to do is ask and I will be there willing to lend a hand, some muscle, or a sympathetic ear. I am sorry if some of you guys like who I am and dont want me to change, but sometimes we do things we dont like in order to get by. I... dont know what else to say. This really isnt easy for me to say or do. Much love to y'all.
-Jake

Everything Looks Better in Slow Motion...

2005-08-05T05:16:00.000-05:00

Hello again everyone. Well it's like 5 am in the morning and I have nothing to do so I thought I thought I would blog. No much is new. My ribs feel alot better now. Monday morning when I woke up my side ached really bad. I quickly rememered that I had been hit in the ribs several days earlier.Reminds me alot of football back in the day. Bust your ass on Friday night during the game and play through whatever pain you were feeling, of course if your really into the game you eventually forget what hurts and how bad. But when you wake up the next morning or the day after that it hits you like a wrecking ball that something hurts. Luckily the pain only lasted for a day or so and then subsided but I do have a pretty nice looking bruise right now. I didnt have to work tonight, which is probably why I am blogging. I work tommrow through next thursday and then havenext friday and saturdayoff, I am interested to see the schedule for the week after that to see if my schedule was set up the way I asked it to be. Those of you who know me well know that I absoultely hate asking people to do stuff for me even stupid little stuff like listening to me, which is kinda weird because I enjoy helping my friends and family whenever possible and always volunteer to help and I'm always willing to lend a sympathetic ear to any of my friends or family who need it (someone explain how that works that a person can like helping others but doesnt like asking for help or being helped himself) but I felt as though this was necessary to ask for. If it happens the way I want it to I would work next sunday to Thursday the 18th. This would give me 5 days to take care of everything before leaving for school on the 24th. A big part of it will be readjusting my schedule to that of a normal human being, ya know the kind that sleeps at night, instead of vampires like me. But we shall see, apparently before I go I am supposed to train some of the people replacing me., that should prove to be most interesting. THe good thing about working tonight is that it is payday, hooray for money or as some of you may call it cash, moola, chedda, greenbacks, yak semen, or as I like to call it money. What were you expecting A material, I dont have any A material you all should know that by now, all I got left is some Y and Z and even that is running out. However the bad part about tonight is that there is karokee, I can not emphasize how evil and wrong karokee is if you can not sing. If you can sing please do karokee and make everyone else lookbad so they will stop, but if you suck you should be beaten for even thinking about putting a microphone in your hand and singing rainbow connection at 2 in the morning, karokee lasts longer now in order tohelp attract people because North Dakota finally extended the time that bars may be open til 2 am, previously it was a 1 am limit so ppl would drive across the bridge to have a few more before going home. I have often thought about power spearing people that do this, especially the large drunk fat guys. Normally I am a very even tempered guy,but I can turn up the dial if I need to and trust me I am not really a person you want power spearing your mid section. Normally it takes alot to annoy me but karokee is just one of those thingsya know. But enough about that because I do not like to be violent. But I do remain adament that their are simply some people in this world that need to have their ass kicked. Finally got a hair cute the other day,looks and feels alot better. Also did some looking around and such for myupcoming car stereoimprovement. Team electronics quoted me 600 for everything I wanted to done and purchased which is honestly a little lower then I thought it would cost. I also checked out best buy but was unimpressed by their selection and knowledge. If you wish to know more simply ask or leaveme a comment. I realizze these days I can be rather difficult to get a hold of, not that many people actually need to. Got to talk toJon briefly the lasttwo days on Aim was nice to say hi and bs a little bit. We had an amusing conversation today. We were discussing dota and suchand I said wouldnt it be nice If dota were something that actually impressed people. You could go up to a girl and be like hey girl I am a dota master. And they would be like I know you, your the vanilla gorilla the big bad dota daddy. Iof course would nod and smile and be like baby not only am I the big bad dota daddy but I am also the big bad booty daddy. lol I found this rather amusing. But I think for that line to even have a shot at working it would have to be delivered by someone with infinitely more game then myself, maybe pat wearing his cream suit or Jon in genral or some my other brothers with game reading this you know who you guys are;)But definitely not me, I lead and rich fnatasy life and it works there. Anyone know where I can acquire a magic lamp or some other wish granting device to change fantasy into reality or a time machine would be nice. Did ya ever notice thatgenies alwayscome from something like lamps or bottles or rings. I mean you never heard of the genie of the AMC pacer, or the genie of the shovel, or the genie of vaccuum cleaner. Ok that was random but oh well. Lol I would need a genie to create a world where I was a pimp and/or had game. Ah well I guess thatsone of those things you either got it or ya dont. It s ok though I accept who I am, well at least for the most part. What else do I have to say. Oh I can do another installment of Gorila Grooves( in other words me telling you guys some new songs I think are cool and you should give a listen to, I gave it a name because I thought it was cool). This editions Gorilla Grooves are
Fall Out Boy- Sugar we're ging down
Fall Out Boy- Grand Theft Autumn
Bow Wow- Let me Hold You
Bowling for Soup- Almost
Bowlingfor Soup- Ohio(comeback to Texas)
New Found Glory- Forget my Name
50cent- Shake that Ass
Papa Roach- Scars
Give these songs and bands a listen if you have the time and energy. Sorry for the length of my last several posts but when I am bored and have nothing better to do I tend to come here and jot down some thoughts and happenings from my life. I try tokeep it fairly limited but I realize that once in awhile a feeling or emotion manages to sneak its way in, sorry about that I am really trying to keep them outof my posts and conversations and such. I will make greater efforts on the length issue, although I have neverheard any complaints about my length before;) lol Sorry had to say it. Alright I' m out,once again this has been the one andonly the v to g peace and much love to all my gorilla groupies out there. lol jk

The Weekend...

2005-08-01T08:38:00.000-05:00

hey Vanilla Gorilla fans. I thought since some interesting events happened lately that I might talk about them and my thoughts before I go off to bed. Saturday night was a pretty long and difficult night at work. When I got there I found out that we had an unusually rowdy wedding party, nothing that special. 15 minutes into my shift
a huge fight breaks out in the reception area and manges to spill ino the lobby. About 8- 12 guys brawling and beating the hell out of each other. Kevin and Brad our 2 weekend secuirty guards couldnt handle it themselves so Sean and I were asked to jump in and help handle them.We immediatley called the police and they told us there they would have someone their as soon as possible and try our best to get the situation under control. So each of us was trying to restrain several people. Sean got a beer bottle thrown at him which barely missed his head, Kevin was being threatened by a guy brandishing an empty vodka bottle and periodically swinging it violently around, and I took a sucker punch to the ribs. Brad said he was suprised that I didnt react or seem injured after being hit. Apparently the guy got a good full swing and connected with my ribs well, which I felt later I had my back turned trying to restain one of his friends and only knew he hit me when it happened. all the guys their said they were suprised that I didnt beat the crap out of the drunk who hit me and said they would have had my back if I wanted to. The 4 of us prolly could have taken them all being as we are all sober and all run 6'2 230 plus. But I thought to myself we really dont need to wreck the lobby and get 4 more guys involved in the fight so I m glad I didnt go after the guy. Please dont mistake this for cowardice or lack of fighting ability, I wasnt happy about being hit but I dont think its worth a massive brawl and massive damage to the lobby to quench my thirst for revenge. Oh well think of me however you chose. The night only seemed to get worse fromt their. After the police arrived and sorted the whole matter out my fellow front desk worker Jason started puking his guts out and had to go home. This left me to run the entired front desk the rest of the night, not a fun or small task. Also we hadmany porblems with train workers running out of rooms that night that I was left to deal with on my own, some of them had to wait several hours for a room to open up and be cleaned and needless to say they were not ahppy about it. I chalk that up to bad management for trying to whore out their rooms to regular customers to make more money instead of abide by the contract that both parties signed. Shrugs I dont make the decisions I just do as I m told and deal with the consequecnes of managements decisions. The boss did write an email to everyone on monday saying that everyone owed me a big thank you for keeping the hotel running the rest of the night and getting everything taken care, it was a smal gesture but I thought it was nice. Sunday was a much more uneventful evening thankfully. Hard to believe I will only be working 19 more days, feels like just yesterday I started this job. I guess I cant decide whether summer went by too fast or too slow I guess for me it was a little of both mixed in with alot of other stuff. Most of which wasnt very positive but I dont wanna bore you all with the details of that or depress anyone. I have decided that Eventually I would very much like to weigh 185lbs, I realize I havent been that light since my junior year in high school when I was 5'11 but at that weight I was ripped. Even after working all summer in the weight room running and doing plyometrics I was only at 205 my senior year but I was still in awesome shape. Now look at me, kinda sad really. Thats why when I go back to school I plan to start working out on a regular basis. 185 is my target But I could be satisfied with even 205. An added bonus is that it may help attract females to me, it seems to me that girls would rather have a guy with big muscles and nice abs then then a vanilla gorilla(example yours truley). Oh well it prolly wont work, most of my plans dont, but I figure its worth a shot. The results of last post survery are in and it was a 1-1 ties, so we have no definite answer on whether or not everything is better with the vanilla gorilla. However I tend to agree with Jon that everything was prolly a poor part of that question, I mean having the vanilla at your prostate exam or with you while you want to spend private time with your significant other is probably most undesirable, so maybe A better question to ask is are most things better when you add the vanilla gorilla. I honestly dont know where I come up with this stuff, there must be something horribly wrong with me and hprribly wrong with you people for befriending me. lol I dont know which it is. Honestly why do you people hang around me and or read my blog. I warn you dont do it for to long or Ill drag ya down with me. ummmm not much else to report. I will be improving the stereo system in mycar shortly and I will update on that when details are forth coming. As usual feel free to comment on any or all of this post. THis has been the one and only the V to the G, I m out.

A New Post....

2005-07-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

Hey vanilla gorilla fans. It had been awhile simce my last post so I thought I would blog and try to give some updates. Work is going fairly well I had to work last night and hear karokee I remain adament in my stance that karokee is in fact evil, at least for drunk people with no singing ability. Interesting note, recently I have discovered that the train workers I deal with, have been using the computer in our business center to look up pornography. Wow thats all I can say. I m not all that horrified that they look at porn but what type of porn they look at. Once again Wow. A final work related note I told my boss that I had to quit on the 20th and several days later I found out thatI will being replaced, by 3 people. THey are hiring three people to take over all the things I do at night, that made me feel a little important or at least productive . Pat attributed this to my not being stupid and that being a hard quality to find. Right now I really need a haircut and a shave. I will shave later tonight but the haircut will have to wait til my next day off. I pretty much have all my money that I will earn from work spent already. Between gas, insurance, some new clothes my loft and maybe a giant bean bag I am left at where I started. But at the very least this is money that hasnt come out of my checking account. I am torn on whether or not to buy a giant bean bag for the dorm. This thing is huge 84x60x40 and soft, I havent decided yet. Maybe after Pat finishes coming up with our room design because he is the architect. In some ways I am really looking forward to going back to school and in other ways I feel very conflicted. I wont say much more than that. But that really seems to fit with what has been going on inside my head and my heart all summer. Well I will shut up about that because I think it will only bore and upset many of you. I am pretty excited to see everyone and hangout and such. VEry much looking forward to playing some dotas ,I return as the 2nd ranked player, I would have been 3rd but Jack quit playing at the end of the year. Rankings and such aside I am looking forward to justhanging out and such with everyone again, because hey everything is better when you add the vanilla gorilla;)
Survey Question: Is eveything better when you add the Vanilla Gorilla?
A. Yes
b. No

Because I cant sleep.....

2005-07-22T09:37:00.000-05:00

hey everyone.So as the title would indicate I am blogging because I cant sleep. Normally I have problems sleeping anyways but these staggered days off from work really make it worse. Each week I have 2 days off,normal enough right?But the thing is that there are almost never back to back its usually like a tuesday and a thursday or a monday and a friday, last week they were back to back which was nice. Like I said I would almost rather not have days off, I honestly wouldnt mind working 7 days a week and having no time off til I went back to school, especially since the days I do have off I usually get home at 8- 8 30 in the morning and (depending on how fast I drive) usually wake up around 6-7 pm. I m not complaining I like my job and I am grateful that somebody finally hired me after along and fruitless job search, just that the hours and the days off are kinda funky. I just wishi could sleep right now, I been trying to fall asleep since 6 am and I havent been able to. Not being able to sleep is kinda frustrating but I am used to struggling to falling alseep these days. Ya know whats kinda weird, the harder you try not to think about something the more you end up thinking about it. It's like fighting a battle that you cant win. The mind works in such twisted and funny ways( well maybe just mine). What is even worse is dreams, you have no control over your dreams , what they are , how often they occur or how they make you feel. I got an email about being the hottie thing today, I had forgotten I signed up for that. Its prolly gonna suck without the Albino Rhino there he and I did all the heavy lifting last year, and I think he forgot to sign up this year and I dont know any other strong males who will be there to help me, Wait Chris might be there So I might have some help, but no offense Chris I dont think your quite as strong as Pat, but your still a good guy and a friend.I wonder if I create a rhino signal and put Krispy Kremes, coffee, fried chicken, and pie near it if pat would come. Does anyone know where I can get a 50000 watt light bulb, a power source for it and a carving in the shape of a rhino to put over it? Jon I am looking at you for this one your asian mafia contacts have to have access to some of that stuff.lol jk Iget my first real pay check at work tonight, that will be nice I will use some of it to write a check to get a loft for this year, I had frgotten to do that until several days ago when I was rummaging through my paperwork at home. Wait I just had an idea to solve the moving in problem we will have Jimmy ask some teamsters to help move us in, nownormally teamsters are lazy sobs and dont do much for anyone but for Jimmy they would move us in and unpack our stuff and probably buy us lunch too, furthur proving Jimmy is the coolest man alive. Jimmy for President!!! Please forgive the incoherent and bouncy nature of this post i have not slept in many hours and I think my typing ability are significantly lower than they normally are(not that they were all that high to ebgin with). I also got my finnacial Aid stuff taken care of today I m getting a little more than last year I lost my pell grant though because I amdoing an Academic partnership through the u of m with Dr. Greg Thorson, I was honored that heasked me to do it. Yes thats right I will being doing research and writing a paper with a professor I am actually a pretty bright guy. Not that you would know from reading my blog or talking to me in person. I dont haveto much else to say at the moment. On a personal note I am kind of having/ been having an identity crisis the last few months but I have really noticed it the past few weeks. I guess I am justhaving trouble deciding what makes me.... me, ya know. Ya know the qualities and or traits that set me apart from other people or how I would be described to a person by someone. I dunno if that makes sense to anyone or not. Feel free to comment on one or all parts of this entry. Anywayz much love to you all and I hope you are all doing well. I am sure I will see you all as soon as school starts again.

Invicible Wheel!!!!

2005-07-20T04:04:00.000-05:00

Ok I promise thats the last time I make an invicible wheel reference for awhile. So not much is new in my life. Tuesday was one of my days off and I didn't really do much with it. I'd almost rather work seven days a week than have any days off,simply because I don't do anything with my days off. I thought about getting a 2nd job, but working over nights and commuting 3 hours a day really makes it impossible for me to get another job. Oh well, I really dont care either way. I would say that is my general attitude towards alot of things right now. I simply stopped caring. Anywayz back to my day off. All I did today was get a few extra hours of sleep and eat some extra food. Nothing of critical importance. I talked to Pat very briefly tonight he rejected my idea of using the invincible wheel technique to defeat the frost giants. We both had trouble staying connected. I hate dial up!!!!! That coupled with Msn being fucked up for awhile made having a conversation quite difficult. He did celebrate my returning once, usually my returning to somewhere inhabited by people results in 911 calls to the police, hundreds of lawsuits, not to mention mothers shielding their childrens eyes from the horrible sight.Sigh. These last couple months I have become a much more reflective person. The last few days are no exception. I miss a lot of stuff. I miss being at aschool, I miss hanging out with my friends, I miss being around people. There are a lot of other things I miss but I really dont feel like sharing what those things are. I ll just say that I miss alot of the things in life that I once had. Will be interesting going back to school and quickly trying to adjust to sleeping at night again. Especially since I have a 9 o clock class on MWF. Oh well I ll do what I have to, I always seem to get by somehow. On a different note I thought I would incorporate music into my blog. Here is a list of songs that I really like alot right now and that people should check out.
The Click Five- Just the Girl
Embrace- Ashes
Gavin Degraw- Chariot
Relient K- Be My Escape
American Hi Fi- Geeks Get the Girls
Gorillaz- Feel Good Inc
50 cent- Lil Bit
Fat Joe- Get it Poppin
Bama- Sweet Home Alabama( this is a rap remix)
Jason Mraz- Word Play
Akon- Lonely
Emerson Drive- Last one Standing
Theory of a Dead man- Aint no Suprise
Trick Daddy- Sugar
Ludacris- Pimpin All over the World
My chemical Romance- Helena
Virgil- Amnesia
Lifehouse- You and Me
Toto- I'll be over you
Most of these are fairly new songs but some are a bit older. Jsut thought I d try something new. Anywayz I am going to bed. I work today and then I have thursday off Then I work Friday and Saturday. I am looking forward to my first full paycheck this friday. My last one was just for my first two days of work. I still have no I dea what to spend it on, I ll prolly end just putting it in my checking account and letting it sit there til I need/ wanna use it. Oh well back to my jungle and my lonely gorilla existence. Peace and love to y'all.

My Boring Life......

2005-07-17T20:04:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. Not much is new. Last night I added another job to the long list of things I am responsible for, enter Jake the dance floor repair man. What was especially interesting was Kevin( one of our weekend security guards) and I were attempting to repair the dance floor while people were still dancing on it, not because we wanted to but because the dj refused to clear the floor at first, thankfully after a few minutes of trying to fix it with people on it Kevin threatended to throw the dj out if he didnt clear the floor and allow us to make the needed reapirs. Moving those pieces around was hard work they weigh several hundred punds each and are usually groupd in 3 or 4 pieces resulting in a total weight of about 600 to 700 lbs, But me being the superior male specimen I am(ha!)we were able to move it. It was an awful lot of work for two people to complete in a short amount of time, but we managed to get it done. The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. We had several weddings last night, weddings make me sad:(sigh

My blog shall continue...

2005-07-16T08:48:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So I guess a lot of people want me to keep this going,So I guess I will. However I think I will keep it very limited and try to keep it dedicated to simply updating people on the events transpiring in my life.Maybe I ll throw in an occasional thought or two about something. I will do my best to not talk about my emotions and feelings,since those dont seem like really popular parts of my blog. I aplolgize if these make their way into my blog then I'm really sorry. I havent really done much with my two days off. I tried to sleep but that really didnt turn out that well( I still struggle sleeping). I did manage to shave last night because my beard was getting pretty long and i really didnt have anything better to do. I decided aginst getting a cell phone. This decision was based on several factors. First of all, I just really dont like cell phones. Second, if you have a cell phone and carryit around with you then you can be reached at all times. Finally. I honestly can't think of many people who I need to call or who need to get ahold of me, so why waste a bunch of money every month just to have the damn thing. So for now I will just save the money and use it when the time is appopriate. I am sure a certain portion will go to buying Pat and I pizza and various other forms of deliciousness, like culvers mmmmmmm culvers. Feel free to drop me a comment.

OK.......

2005-07-14T18:49:00.000-05:00

I have decided that it might be best to shut my blog down. I never meant to hurt offend, criticize or insult anyone who read it. Please accept my heartfelt apology if I did any of these things to you. I originally set up this blog to be a prviate thing so I had a way of expressing and documenting my thoughts with out further burdening my family and friends, I never really intended to make it public but thats what it ended up being, well it now seems clear to me that I was merely doing the same thing just in a different forum, for that I deeply and truly sorry. If anyone really needs to contact me you should have my email. Much love goes out to all you guys and girls out there. I love you all and once again I am truly sorry. I hope you dont mind if I occasionally drop a comment on your blogs. I hope everyone has a great summer and is doing well. I hope to see al of you in a few months, except Ross who will be in north dakota, but still much love Ross.

-Jacob Anderson

Killing Time Before Bed.....

2005-07-14T09:20:00.000-05:00

Hey again Vanilla Gorilla fans. So right now I am trying to kill a little time by writing in my blog before going to bed. I just got done working seven days straight and it will be nice to have thursday and friday off before returning to work on saturday, however saturday bears the evil of karokee(shudders) I like my job but I have learned that Unionized train workers are the big fucking babies on earth, normally I dont like to swear but these mofos warrant the foul language. If there is an imperfection with a room they will find it and complain about it. Of course being employees the staff has to just take it and try and be polite. And complaining o them would do no good because they simply would go to there union rep who woultd in turn bitch to someone else and so on and so forth til the hotel was getting complained at. THis is why I hate unions, they started out as really good things and have devolved into horrible organizations. Its great to be in one, but shitty to have to work with one. Normal customers are fine, I havent really had any problems with real cusomers, except for the whole naked mexican thing to which the police had to become involved in. Make sure to have me tell that story in operson its great. I will admit I really dont like dealing with all the drunks that spill into the lobby from the bar and the comedy club, especially on weekends, but since night secuirty is my responsibility I kinda have too. My coworker Bruce(the night auditor) said something that I swear sounded like something Pat would say. Bruce"Jake know what I need" Jake " Whats that BRuce", Bruce" 3 circus midgets and some whip cream" Jake " HUH?", Bruce" Yeah, I could Have sex with the three midgets" Jake" why?" Bruce " why not its better than working here god damn it!" Jake " whats the whip cream for?", Bruce" in case I get hungry I want a snack ready, and I like whip cream." I thought that was hilarious.Hmmmmm what else to talk about. I think on friday I will go in and purchase a cell phone thus completing my path to the dark side.I really should stop saying I wont get or do things because I usually end up getting or doing them. For instance, blog, cell phone, goingplaces and doing things if people bother me enough or bribe me with food, lol I am unsure why anyone wants me to come along bad enough to bribe me with food but they do, I guess the saying is true everything is better with the Vanilla Gorilla, lol I wish!!! One thing I found interesting the other day was while I was having a conversationg with my dad he said I was the most private person he ever met, not meant as an insult simply an observation, really got me thinking and i guess I kinda am, I mean I really don't open up that much to many people andI tend to keep alot about myself hidden, and I try hard not to show to much emotion in front of people and I hate asking anyone to help me, I mean usually most people get to see 3 or 4 emotions out of me period. Feel free to weigh in on this topic is Jake a very private/ secretive person or isnt he. On the next Geraldo, wait Geraldo sucks, I really wish someone would have shot him while he was in Iraq, whats a good talk show, Dr. Phil, well hes alot cooler than Geraldo.

Events....

2005-07-10T21:03:00.000-05:00

Hello again vanilla gorilla fans. This week our hero has a few new life updates and things to say. So I have learned that I really like my job, except on fridays and saturdays. This is due to the fact that our hotel has a bar, a restaraunt and a comedy club. I should rephrase that, I can handle the regular drunks that we have all other days of the week, but friday and saturday have a special torture, karokee(sp?) this evil transpires from 9 30 to 1 30 on fri and sat nights, so during the first two and a half hours of my shift I get to hear the shrieking shrill voices of drunk people who think they can sing, then attempting to deal with them as they exit the hotel, since the bar is like 75 feet from the front desk and completely visble from where I and my front desk cohorts work. Also we usually have one or more weddings taking place on friday and saturday since we have fairly nice facilities to hold a reception in. I dont mind the weddings so much, makes me kinda sad cuz I get to thinking about what my own wedding would have been like this summer, which several of you who read this would have been involved in, you know who you are. That is slightly depressing to think about and makes me kinda sad:( Oh well most times the weddings end up spilling out of the reception area and into the bar front lobby, pool and everywhere else. I have several interesting stories about this that I will share with you all at later times. Needless to say this results in a lot of drunk people wandering around our hotel, and since another one of my jobs is night security I deal with most of them, nobody has tried to get physical with me, prolly cuz im a bad mama jamma to start with but against a drunk guy, not even close. Plus I m a big mofo, what can I say its good to be the vanilla gorilla sometimes. Still unsure what I will do with my first full paycheck, I ll prolly end up getting a cell phone despite my hatred of them, although I swore I d never have a blogger either so things can change.The other night we had an unidentified naked mexican wandering the hotel, reports can not confirm or deny whether or not this was noe. Teams of scientists are working around the clock examining forensic evidence to make this determinattion. haha jk Noe, Work consumes most of my time now between sleeping commuting eating and getting ready for work and working takes up like 95 percent of my day, but its ok I really dont have anything better to do being as all my friends(you guys and girls) live at various places that are not near me. Personally I am doing ok, watching the weddings kinda bums me out but I try to keep it to a minimum and put on a good face, I really work hard to fight the depression that tries to creep in, its hard but I am trying and fighting it. Right now thats about all I can do. It's hard to deal with, it really is. But I am really trying to just live, accept the way things are and try to find comfort and hhappiness in what I do have and will have in the future. I do always succeed in doing this, But I think trying is just as important. It's hard to lose what I did and ever get over it, I dont know if I ever will but I hope someday I will make my piece with it and move on, it just takes time.I still love and miss Meghan, but like I said I m slowly learning to deal with it. I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their summer.

Another Post...

2005-07-05T02:11:00.000-05:00

Hey vanilla gorilla fans. My posting frequency has increased since I got a job, I think it is becuase my life is a little more interesting now that I have a job. First of all, I really dont mind my job at all. Yeah working 11pm to 7am most nights is kinda weird but all the best stuff happens at night. Because it is when people come to the front desk with the weirdest questions, requests, and problems. I have only been on the job 3 days but I already ahve several good stories that I will behappy to share in person. I suppose I should explain what I actually do. I am pretty much the night front desk clerk/ assistant manager, everyone on night shift answers to me except the manager, Tina(my manager is really cool and she likes me alot, prolly because I work hard, I dont mess up and shit gets taken care of when I'm in charge. My primary duty at night is managing the multi million dollar contract with a train compnay, basically overseeing everything related to the train workers and their needs, everything from checking them in and out, to billing the company, to arranging rides to and from the train yard and everything in between. I also deal with regular guests but after 11pm there are very few people checking in and out or requesting things from the front desk. I do alot of other stuff too but its failry boring, making keys, telling housekeeping what to do and that sort of stuff. My streak of not being pulled over came to an end the other day when I was driving home. I was pulled over in Fergus doing 45 in a 30, so I was legitmately speeding. Using the old vanilla gorilla mind trick I convinced the officer into only giving me a warning. Actually I was just polite and honest and he said like I seemed like a nice kid and would let me off with just a warning. I havent decided what I intend to spend my money on yet, I have considered getting a cell phone, but there are not that many people that realy need to get ahold of me so I relly dont know if it is worth it. I already have a car and paid off the insurance for quite awhile. I also have a new computer so i dont need that either. I am willing to bet that Pat would suggest buying more and larger tv's for our room. But I think 3 in the room will be plenty(sorry to my brotha from anotha motha). Emotionally I am back on a more even keel and I really dont know how I feel about alot of stuff right now. I just try to take it day by day and get though things best I can. Obviously certain things are harder to deal with than others, but I am trying, even though it gets pretty difficult sometimes. The only thing I know is I'm not gonna give up on myself and what I want out of life.

Updates....

2005-07-02T18:30:00.000-05:00

hello everyone. I thought I would give you all some updates about what is going on in my life since it has been awhile. First and foremost I have a job now. I work at the days inn hotel and conference center in Moorhead, the commute kinda sucks but its the only full time job I have been offered this summer. I work the grave shift which is 11pm to 7 am, once and awhile I will be working the swing shift which is 3pm to 11pm. It will take a little while to get used to the hours, but as a person who usually staysup til 4 or 5 am it really isnt a huge adjustment. I like the job so far and my boss likes me alot already, mostly because I am an extremely quick learner and it makes her job a lot easier. The nice part is there are like 10 people that I can tell what to do, thats kinda cool but I dont wanna be one of those people who has a litle authority and turns into a complete asshole, I realize I work at a hotel and bossing some of the staff around really isnt that big of deal.I make a good wage and the job wont be to bad, I will post more later on what I do and stuff like that. I am glad I got the job, but it doesnt make me as happy as I thought it would. The only downside is I have to be kinda dressed up because I work at the front desk, and those of you who know me know that I am a really casual dresser(I dress like a jock as pat would say, he is quite accurate). I dont really mind but its different.I guess it will be nice to have money not that I have anything to spend it on. On a sadder note, my friend Nick will be heading down to Florida in a few days and will pretty much be gone the rest of the summer, with a few one week stints of returning home briefly to give reports at the place where heworks then retunring to supervise in Florida, he will be making alot of money and I am sure he will have a good time while he is there. I am sad though cuz Nick is the only friend I have back home that I can hang out with. I have only really gone out 4 times this summer(how sad is that) and 3 were with Nick, the other one was with Josh when he was home on leave. Oh well, I kinda knew when I came home this summer that most of it would be spent by myself, I accept that is what has to happen and I have grown used to it over the last couple months.To be honest I have been really down lately, every time I look in mirror I dont like what I see, I m not half the man I used to be( sometimes Idont know whether I even deserve to call myself a man anymore at all). When I look in the mirror I see a guy who will prolly end up doing well career wise and make alot of money but will end up old fat ugly alone and miserable(I think I might be several of these already), so in other words I will be a truely great republican!Jokes aside, that thought really worries me, but I also fear that it may be the future and that what I am feeling now is just a prelude to the rest of my life. I wish I could be the man I once was for he was far greater than I in every way. I hope everyone is enjoying there summer and doing ok. I fought you for so long, I should have just let you win, Oh how we regret those things we do.(bonus points if you know the song and the band who sings it)

The Weekend...

2005-06-28T01:27:00.000-05:00

Hey Vanilla Gorilla fans. So I made it through the weekend alive. My relatives arrived on friday afternoon and so far it hasn't been that bad having them out here, they think I am pretty funny and I seem to do an ok job entertaining them when dad and mom are busy, I know I said in earlier posts that I had no intention of helping entertain but when push comes to shove and my folks need help I can't say no. Those of you who know me well know that if you badger me or ask me enough times to do something that I will end up doing it, Pat is an expert at this. My parents only had to ask once but I felt kinda obligated to help especially with all my parents have done for me over the last 6 months. But it really wasnt all that terrible. They are leaving toward the end of the week, and then several days later we are expecting more relatives out to stay for awhile. Saturday was spent by myself, I kinda just locked myself in my room so no one had to see me in that state. I was a train wreck. I can honestly say thats the worst I have ever been. I didnt get drunk as previously planned, I just couldnt do it. Sunday I was back to normal, well whatever is normal for me now. Today was spent at home, doing household chores and my usual 10 hours a day thinking while my parents ran the reli's around the area showing them the few things worth seeing in Ottertail County. Now I am listening to music and updating this thing. On a different note I saw the new Batman movie last week, it was good much darker and lower tech then the other ones, but still a good movie. My only complaint is that they spend to much time setting up the back story and certain parts of the movie feel over extended, they tried to get too much out of it. Other than that same old boring me, I really would do more if I had the chance, but opprotunities to do things are few and far between. Internet connection is to slow to play warcraft or wow, all my friends are scattered though out the states, gomer works all the time, and you can only watch the first 2 seasons of Chappelle show so many times, and really there are only so many chores that can be done in and outside. Lawn work takes 4 or 5 hours to do everything in the yard, but that only needs to be done every week or so, and you cant do it while its raining. Oh well I have kinda resigned to being bored this summer. Anywayz I hope everyone is doing ok and enjoying their summers.

Today.....

2005-06-25T03:17:00.000-05:00

Today is a a very significant day in my life, at least it was supposed to be. Today was supposed to be the day I got married to the most perfect woman on earth. Instead here I sit alone at 3 am thinking about what should have happened and what went wrong. Those of you who know me well, know that getting married was super important to me, because it is one of the very few things I really really desired out of life was to get married and have a family. I know that sounds kinda lame for a 20 year old man to say but thats me. Also I think it was clear to everyone how in love with Meghan I was, I mean I think blind and deaf people knew that she meant tthe world to me, I mean it was obvious if you ever spent any time with us. I mean I know she wasn't perfect, what person is, but my love for her made me see past all that and all I saw was perfection. I guess thats what happens when you see someone with your heart and not your eyes. Now I sit here thinking about the life and dreams I lost when she left, and it kills me. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, not the worst. But I guess thats how the world works, I wish I could say I was an asshole and deserved what I got, or that I lied and cheated and mistreated her and got dumped like a cock sucker should, but again this isnt the case. I know today I am going to be a complete mess, it feels like the day Meg left me times a hundred. Ya know normally another day is nothing special to me, merely a date and a number on a calendar, but when you have plans or give that day some type of meaning it becomes so much more, the day takes on a significance that I can not even begin to explain. Thats what today was supposed to be. Like I said things just dont feel right in my life right now, this isnt what was supposed to happen. I would appreciate it if people would refrain from leaving certian types of comments, those along the lines of you will be fine, or get over it, or you are a cocksucker etc, are not welcome today. Normally I wouldnt care but this is a wish I ask you all to respect, please. What really kills me inside is that today meant something to me and it hurts that it didnt come true, and that it is probably forgotten and inconsequential to the other person that help plan what this day was suppose to be. And yes I am well aware that I need to move on and such eventually, but today is a day for grieving for a devastating loss and the life that went with it. I apologize to those of you who have problems with this post, I realize it is quite self indulgent and depressing, but it is how I am feeling and is an important part of my life, I am sorry to those of you who dont like it or my overall handling of things, but its who I am and its my choices, and my friends will understand that. I hope I can make it through the rest of the day, It will be very difficult because of what this day was supposed to be and the feelings that went with it. I will close by saying may god be with you, because he has abandoned me.(bonus points if you know what movie thats from)

Frustration...

2005-06-18T21:07:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. So I hate to admit it but I am horribly frustrated with my life right now. Normally I try not to be a very emotional person or at least I try to keep it private I think those of you who know me well would prolly agree you dont get to see very many emotions out of me except happiness or maybe a little bit of anger every now and then. But right now I am so incredibly frustrated. I wake up every morning and lay in bed thinking to myself this isn't where my life is supposed to be at right now, this isn't what is supposed to be happening, and my life just feel right. I feel like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that was crammed in the wrong space and manipulated to try to fit. Obviously the piece is in the wrong place and the piece is uncomfortable being there(well at least it would if puzzle pieces had feelings, but for the sake of this example they do).Everything inside of me is telling me that this isnt how things are supposed to be. I mean honestly when I evaluate my life right now I do not like it. When I pictured what my life would be like this summer I had something completely different in mind and it's really frustrating to see where I actually am, compared to where I thought I would be and wanted to be. You know thats the funny things about dreams is they are alot like a beautiful piece of glass that you created. Precious and beautiful things that took alot of work and imagination to create but fragile and easily destroyed by any number of sources, and when they are destroyed a piece of your heart goes with it because you put it into it during the creation process. I just honestly dont know what to do right now, and its only gonna get worse, a week from today I am going to be a complete and utter train wreck I already know this( I have evil magic that lets me see into the future). I just wish I had some answers to all of the questions my heart and my mind have. Sorry for this overly emotional post, I try to keep them to a minimum but right now I couldnt help myself. I'm done complaining for now, I hope everyones summeer is going well and have a good fathers day.

Another Day and A Big Decision

2005-06-13T22:25:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. Not much is new in my life. I went out fishing with my dad today it was raining the whole time and we didn't ctach anything but it was still pretty fun. I hadn't gone in awhile so it was a good time. We both came back completely drenched and without any fish but oh well. After that I hung out with my buddy Josh because he leaves for Washington tommorow. It was really good to see him again, he's been one of my best friends for like 8 years now and it sucks hes not around much, but hey that's part of the military life I guess. He wasnt here for the whole Meghan fiasco and offered his advice and opinion about the situation He basically told me that I am a great guy and that I should take all the time I need to heal That is basically what I am doing it is a long process but I feel like I am making a little progess in certain areas I dont mean I am anywhere nearly completely healed but I have noticed I am slowly getting better in some areas I still love and miss Meghan but I know i need to move on with my life despite how difficult that is I will get there eventually it is just gonna take time and besides who knows what the future holds things can change in an instant so I will wait and see what the future holds for me speaking of which I have made a decison I have decided that I will meet my future at UMM I know it will be hard to deal with some of the memories and feelings I have but I feel like Morris is the place I am supposed to be this decision took me a long time to reach and was hard thought and felt I have strong feelings about certain parts of this decision but I will not discuss those right now I apologize for the lack of punctuation but something is funny with my keyboard right now I will close by saying that the J Train will be rolling back into Morris this year

Productivity, A Visit from an old friend, and an observation about myself....

2005-06-08T22:32:00.000-05:00

Hey again everyone, some things worth talking about have occured in the last several days so I thought would write a new post. I have found something do with all my free time these days. I am helping my dad paint the house, inside not outside, today we got most of the laundry room done and we will finish it tommorow, normally this wouldnt take multiple days, but all the rooms in our house that are painted have these weird textured walls and require thick coats of paint to paint over them. After that we are going to move on to his office, the downstairs bathroom and then we get upsatirs. My mom wants this all done before myr elatives come to visit later this month, I could realy care less I am doing it to help my dad because it is faster with 2 people, my dad's health isn't great, and well my dad is my dad but also a great friend and I pride myself on helping my friends when they need it. I honestly dont care what my relatives think when they come out. I dont plan on entertaining them at all I will leave that to my mom, I will be polite of course I just feel no obligation to entertain. Yesterday I got to see my friend Josh who I hand't seen since x mas, he was home on leave from the army and we went to see Episode 3(2nd time for me) and then hung out and caught up for awhile. It was nice hanging out with him. The first thing he said when he saw me was " Anderson You skinny mother fucker, where is the reast of you?" I had to laugh. I mean I am still a big guy, but I guess I am alot skinier then I previously was. I can't really see it but all my friends and family have mentioned it to me several times so I have decided it must be true. Finally I have an observation about myself thatI think is accurate, I think I must have the words good listener tattoed on my forehead, since I have been home everyone has been coming to me when they need to talk it's insane, now I am actually quite used to this but this summer it seems like even more people are, I mean several of my friends back home, nick, even my parents are both coming to me to talk. I dont really mind though I like to think I am a good listener and easy to talk to and someone who people can trust. Feel free to disagree if you want, but I would say that it's failry accurate.Well that's all I have for now so til next time take care. I close by saying" when you really care about something with your heart, mind and soul, thats when it really hurts to lose it, and thats what real pain is."

Updates and Food for Thought....

2005-06-06T01:31:00.000-05:00

Hey peeps. As you all may have noticed my blogging has become more and more infrequent. This largely because I am a horribly boring person with an even more boring life.I dare one of you to claim your life is more boring than mine!! I could post my daily thoughts but I am sure you would all become sick of those quite quickly since they tend to revolve around one subject.One an exciting note I bought a new computer, I badly needed one. The new one is very nice and comes equipped with all the bells and whistles, if you care to know more about it simply ask. A short description is that it is a gateway with a 3.4 ghz processor, 250gb hard drive, 1gb ram, and a 128 radeon gamecard. Needless to say I will be hosting Dota's next year( If i come back). Also I went and saw the kingdom of heaven with my friend Nick, I thought it was a great movie and well worth seeing. On a final update I shaved the beard, my close friends and family convinced me to shave it. They did so by convincing me that I am much more handsome without a beard, I have no idea whether I am or not, But everyone said I was so I shaved the beard, it was itchy anywayz. There have been several issues weighing on my mind lately, I am sure you all know the biggest one. However, another big one has been whether or not to come back to morris this fall. My gut and my head tell me I should come back to mo town, my heart is to busy with other things to be involved in this decision, it has problems of its own. I honestly think I will most likely end up coming back, but I have a part of me thats just pulling me away and telling me to go somewhere else and I can't explain why. Thats all the updates I can give you guys for now. Now for some food for thought, todays topic is family. I feel very strongly about the subject of family. My family means alot to me and I love and respect them all morethan I could ever say. However I have a very strict definition of what family is, and being related simply does not automatically make you family. Family is a feeling and something that is achieved and is not automatically given. Now I dont mean you have to work for it or anything, it;s just something that kind happens by getting to know and getting close to someone. I for example consider many of my close friends to be family because I would do anything for them and I care about them deeply. This whole topic has been inspired by the fact that I have relatives coming out to visit later this month, now my sister acts likes its a big deal and important to visit and spend time with these people, I feel differently, many of these poeple are people I dont like or dont know well enough to like or dislike. I guess I don't feel an obligation to spend time with them or entertain them at all, I guess I am expecting them to come out and pretend like we are family even though most of them havent seen or talked to me in several years,you may be related to me but you really arent family. Feel free to disagree with me but I honestly believe this concept to be true. Anywayz I will close by saying" when you have had the best and lost it, nothing else even comes close."

Beards, Banks, and my Boring Life...

2005-06-01T22:16:00.000-05:00

hello again vanilla gorilla fans. SO today I actually got up and out of bed before 2 p.m., I had some business to take care of at my bank so I got up got dressed and went into town. It's weird even though I am home I still have a sleeping schedule similar to school. I usually don't go to bed til 3,4 or some nights 5 a.m, which results in me sleeping til 1 or 2 p.m.. I mean if I had a job I would feel the need to get up, but since I don't, I don't. I need a reason to get up at a reasonable time, and being up at a so called decent hour is not an adequate reason. To those of you who say I am sleeping away the day, well I am and I prefer the night anywayz so oh well. My parents have been really cool about my inability to find a job, my dad has been very understanding situation and even told me the other day he really didnt care if I found a job at all this summer as long as I continue to do well in school. I mean this last semester was a little below my usual average, but still pretty good by most standards I mean an A, a B+, and a B is not to bad, even though thats the most B's I have gotten on a report card since grade school. But due to mitigating circumstances I consider those pretty decent. But it's nice that my parents have been so cool about the whole thing, nothing stipulates that they have to let me stay here for free and do very little. Oh well, I love you mom and dad and thnks. Even though they don't read this I think that my parents support over the course of my life, especially the last 6 months warrants at least that. The beard is looking pretty good today is officially two weeks since I last shaved and it's pretty thick, thicker than any of you have ever seen my beard before. But the beard is becoming evil!!! lol I am kidding I just decided to say that random thought. Tommorow I am going with Nick to fargo to go computer shopping, everyone knows my current one is a pos and needs replacing. We will prolly go see Kingdom of Heaven while we are there since I want to see it and havent been able to yet. Another exciting evcent is my buddy Josh coming home on leave this weekend, he has 10 days off and we are looking forward to hanging out. the guy has been one of my best friends for about 7 years and it will be good to see him. On a completely different note another one of my best friends has found a new way of amusing me, Pat is quite the artist over msn messenger. All I can say to the msn corporation and whoever developed the drawing tool on the new messenger is you should never have put a drawing tool on that messenger you have unleashed unbelievable creative power and ability to those who should not have it!!! Now on a completely different note I have a thoguht for the day. I have decided that lies destroy the world. Now this maybe an over exaggeration, but I really do think lies are one of the reasons our world is in such bad shape, and I mean real lies not little white lies. Lies do nothing but mask the truth and lead to people suffering and hurting. While the truth may be equally painful at least it is the truth, the truth has a unique way of providing people with a sense of fullness and closure. Lies only seem to raise more and more questions and make you speculate whether some of the things you thought were truths were lies also. In other words honesty really is the best policy. I know that's cliche But I honestly believe that! I think one of the reasons people aren't always honest is becuase it's the right thing to do and is therefore hard. For some reason the right thing to do in life is always the most difficult, at least most of the time. Again this is a situation where there is no incentive not to lie because only you really know if you are telling the truth. That's my rant for the day. I can't decide whether it is I am too moral or whether the rest of the world isnt moral enough. I am lucky to be surrounded by a lot of people who are honest, at least I think;) I guess that's where trust comes in, and I trust you all. Well I ahve written enough for now so tell next time everyone. I close by saying"in a world of pretenders I'll be your defender."

To Beard or Not to Beard...

2005-05-28T16:30:00.000-05:00

hello again loyal readers. As you may have noticed the frequency of my blogging has go way down. This is due in large part to the fact that nothing new or exciting is happening in my life and I chose not to bore you with the mundane details. I could sit and tell you all my thoughts and feeling every day because there certainly are alot of those, but I think you would all get bored of hearing many of the same things over and over again, especially since most of you already know what occupies alot of my thinking. Anywayz I have made a decision, I have decided to grow a beard, yes that's right a beard, I shall grow this beard until life gives me a reason to shave it. Basically when something good happens I will shave said beard, if nothing good hapens for a long time then i willl continue growing a beard and then attempt to grow an afro. Other measures are in place after this but we will not discuss those at the current moment. If I get a reallly cool or doofy looking beard going I will take and post a picture on here. Now I move to my next debate, I am so bored that I am debating whether or not to do another Vanilla Gorilla rap detailing the adventures of everyones favorite gorilla yours truly. When asked whether he thought this was a good idea the albino rhino responded oh no, oh god no. However, if you would like to hear more of the Vanilla Gorilla's adventures in rap form leave a comment saying so. Other than that I don't have much to say life is pretty boring right now, I am still looking for a job and spend most of my time at home trying to keep myself occupied somehow. I will close by saying "sometimes you just have to let things go."